Hello Ben,

You know I think I would bring it up to this so-called friend. You don't owe her anything. I would ask her if she thought this was appropriate behavior for married people to engage in. Ask her would she be happy if her husband (if she is married) engaged in this type of behavior? Ask her what happened to her moral compass? Ask her does she feel good about condoning and engaging in behavior that could destroy a marriage? Why not let her feel uncomfortable? Why should you have to hold it in? I know it will not make any difference with this friend (?) but maybe it will make you better seeing her squirm. In addition this person will know first hand how this situation will never be tolerated again. I just thought it will show her what you think of her actions.

I am curious but how do you think that male friend
of yours is going to react when he hears the water down version of his bride's story? Talk about a marriage starting on the wrong foot. If I was him I would see this as the worst red flag possible and call off the marriage or seek an annulment. What do you think?

Okay, update...

She did it. She brought it all up with my friend and said everything. In a nutshell she feels much better. From what I know the wedding is still on and they are repairing things now and not later. Apparently it was eating her inside too.

On the note about my W's BF, apparently she did what she could to get her away from these things, but ultimately my W thought she was doing fine, so it was really my W who wasn't listening well and was her fault after the rest of her story was told to me. Good thing I didn't say anything to her BF already. I would have been completely out of line.

I think my next post will be in RECOVERY.

Thanks, all. You're great.

Ben