This openness on her part is good - you are actually moving into (ok - toward) the conflict stage. That is better than total withdrawal. The window opened a crack there for a second. If she gave you any specific info on what you did that was wrong, that would be better - then you could change those things. If she didn't give you anything specific, ask. Then shut up and listen, don't get defensive. It will give you some good info on how to Plan A.

Yep, marathonman! Take it slowly. Keep up the plan A. Don't expect loving remarks from your W for a LONG TIME. Heck, don't expect anything forever. You have no right to expect. *DO* read her remarks about the cards, and even the apparent unwillingness to work on your M, as good signs. John39 is right. She's moving from withdrawl to conflict, which is a better place to be, even though it might not seem like it at the time.

Careful,
-Qfwfq

What are you guys tring to say to me.. last night she did say that it was over and I have to get on with it.. This evening.. I have said nothing..just that I was proud of her for doing belly dancing class.. which she is at right now..she made the nice comments about the cars on a few occasions in the past few weeks..that she wants to remember the good times.. what is so important about?? while at the same time she wants to review seperation.. ie house asssessment tonight when she gets home.. I really rthink she means business with a D..But at the same time I will proceed with paln A.. no LBs just the best MM possible,,,any suggestions are gladly accepted..
thanks again to all for the help keep it coming..

LJKM3... I went to crosswalk.com and copieoff the checklist..youre right..it was an eye opener..I actually got my WW to sit down and listen to me saying I'm sorry for each thing. although she started to fall asleep..she said to me " so are you going to do these things again?".. I told her I will carry the list and make improvments where ever I can..I then asked herabout one of the things about her.. about holding hands in public.. she never held my hand in public.. it always made me feel unwanted.. she said that she never liked to hold my hand.. but that it may be different with someone else...none the less she listened..I seems more and more that the list is going to help me prepare for my next realationship.. I will be all the better when that happens...as for mrs.MM after I finished talking to her about the checklist, she says now where is the info you have on the house assessment so i can review..looks like she's really on her way.. again I will continue with Plan A and try to be the best MM possible..
she is still showing no affection what so ever.. only goes to show that it is going somewhere else..the funny thing is if and when she comes to her senses.. she is going to feel stupid..

MM-

Saw your post on MM's thread. Funny you have the same initials!

Are you okay? What can we do to help? Please write it out. Sometimes just letting the stuff out helps so much...

MarathonMan, just like Kily said, I too saw your post over at MortarMan's thread. I don't know if somebody has suggested this, but have you considered going to a doctor to get some anti-depressants? They do make a difference you know (just ask TM94). Your emotions can sabotage all your hard efforts in saving your M (they can mutate to hatred), and anti-depressants can definetely help give you control over them.

Marathonman,

Again, sorry for the absence. I am updating a few things here and will post again shortly. I have those posts ready for you, and will post them here next. Then I will respond to what you have posted and see if we can get you moving forward. So far though, all that have posted here have been right on track. Listen and trust. These are voices of experience.

In His arms.

Okay...as promised (but a little late), here are my threads since I started on here last June. sit down and go through them. You will see the up and down progression, as my wife and I did the rollercoaster dance. You will see me continue to not trust the plan, only to try to come back to it. And then in December, you see me finally "get it," and you see what follows.

No guarantees here, Marathonman. but as you will read, things were HOPELESS for me at one time too and my wife was SURE that things were over. Anyway, get busy reading...and I'll post again, responding to your latest posts.

Crossroads and Hurting

Okay...What next??

Things aint good!

A Breakthrough...The Beginning of the End?!?!

WW back with OM

Situation Changing Drastically: WW Finally Out of the Fog?!

How I Finally Learned to Give up: And Maybe Get My Marriage Back

In Plan B: Need help

Unsure of What to do Next

Out of time & dont know what to do

Things moving rapidly and I am at a crossroads.

Recovery Rocky but Moving Forward

KILY/toomuch coffeeman...I have already gone to my doc.. she thinks Im okay and that I dont need drugs.. sure would help though to feel less pain and get my mind in order..I have spoken to her sister, to our babysitter, to her mother, to some of her friends,,they all say to forget it she is not coming back..I am trying to stick with paln A.. its just too painful..not sure where she stands with the OM// she she has not seen much of him at work./. maybe they talk a lot..so no idea whre this affair is.,,it seems to have turned rather secretive after I spoke to his wife.. which by the way apparently acccording to OM has not said a word about my phone call to her.. myy wife says that they are on the outs anyway.. so she may not even care...so here I sit crying my eyes out..because both of them have the green light. Not sure if my wife is not in a fog or I'm not couping with reality..
MORTARMAN.. thanks I'll start reading your threads.. I really appreciate you guys checking in.. thanks.. please stay close and if I'm rambling please try to pick out what I;'m trying to say and be my freind..i just feel so alone and hopeless..I have to fight for my family.. I dont want to see my daughters without a loving mom and dad..in the same house.