Orchid,
Aw, dang her and the "horse" she rides.

I'm so sorry.

Clothing in a plastic bag in the hot sun? Is it damp perchance?

You have given him many chances, even late last fall, right? Almost out of the house then....

You know she's crazy, but he's not the sharpest crayon in the bucket either <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .

I think it is time for that Plan in the back pocket, if not something more legal.

You deserve so much more than this.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Orchid}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{Oh Orchid}}}}

Life is too short to have to live this way! You know, they either "get it" or they don't. Doesn't seem like he gets it.....at all. Lots of hugs and support.

TO ORCHID'S HUSBAND

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Post back to me Mr. Orchid .... I dare you!

<small>[ March 06, 2003, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Oh Orchid - I am so sorry for what you are going through. You were so helpful to me when I first came to MB. I wish you well. Take care.

Orchid:

I'm very sorry to hear this news. Truly I am.

When reading about these kinds of setbacks, I think long and hard about my own sitch. What does the future hold?

♠ Will my W resume her A with RM? She's still in contact through work, so it isn't even a question of the contact resuming.

♠ Is he psycho? I have no idea, really, whether it's that or just WS fog, but he certainly isn't rational or even very smart. At least that's my impression.

I dunno, Orchid. I guess I try not to let the possibilities of what BAD might happen dominate my thinking. That's a whole helluva lot easier said than done, as you can all vouch from my previous posts. But it's what keeps me going. It's the ONLY thing that keeps me M'd. And my "victimhood" has been just as responsible for our setbacks in the past several months as this continued contact has been.

"Been through this 1 time to many."

Maybe it's time to file and call it quits, then. Only you can tell for sure.

"Unconditional my foot, a family is dependent on the love and care of each member. WS are not exempt."

I assume this is a reference to "unconditional love." You didn't have it. Most of what we flail around trying to "save" in reconciling after an A is very much conditional love. That isn't to say that M's based on conditional love can't work, and M itself is a contract, and so depends on agreed-upon conditions to be maintained. Your H has broken his part of the agreement to be faitfhul to his W and family more than once. It's up to you whether you can, or want to try again.

My thoughts are with you (because they affect how *I* do, too)!
♥ Qfwfq

To HUSBAND OF ORCHID! You have no right to keep her or your family in limbo. Sh--or get off the pot!
Take your sleaze bag and when she's through screwing around on you, dumps your sorry a-- don't try crawling back to the good wife!
She can do better without you I'm sure!
You want your family then you have to tell OW to buzz off for good. There is no such thing as friendship with a who-- who has helped harm and bring much pain to the marriage.
And remember this well, "If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you"!
Your days are numbered with this slut, but don't think you can treat your wife like this and have her waiting with loving, open arms.
It's you who needs to tell this OW what she is and that you don't want he in your life anymore. She deserves no respect at all for her feelings because she's a vermin infested piece of crap. Is this what you want for your life? a sleaze bag who cannot be introduced to polite society? Nobody is going to respect you or her! They'll just lie to your face and laugh behind your back. Quit messing with your wife and let her have her own life where she can find somebody decent to love her as she deserves!
LouLou

Orchid,

I know you have lots of post. But i wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for all the help you have been to me. Regardless of how your situation turns out, regardless of whether or not you feel like you are a success or that you have failed by being to forgiving or what ever. You have been and will ultimately be the winner. I am in your situation (or similar) And i know that the anger and betrayal is immenses. Keep a grip on the end goal. He made a bad (%&$(&%$(&) choice. You are awsome, Now it is your turn to choose. Do what is best for you and you alone. No one can live in these situations forever, look at clara harris. I bet that situation didn't happen over night. Many cyber tears are being shed on your behalf. Strength and peace to you today, and always.

Sara

L,

I don't know what to say. I'm am so pissed my head is pounding (sinus headache doesn't help tho).

We ([H] and I) know your H. We've met him and talked to him. It's coming up on 2 years now. Screw the squishy bat, he has gone way to far to be nice. WTF is he thinking?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

L, darling, we've discussed this before. Use what is in your back pocket and then some. Enough is enough.

I'm so sorry he is such a dumbarse. I feel for you and your little one. Neither of you deserve this crap.

How about this. Use what is in you back pocket, ship me your little one, then come and visit! I bet [H] would love to play 50 million questions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hugs love and prayers to you and little one.

Angry bashing stupid H over the head vibes to your H.

We love you and care for you. Call anytime, I mean anytime if you want.

K

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I'm sorry dearie. You DO deserve better. You have worked soooooo hard for your family.... and he has proven that he's not going to do his part.

Check in with us soon.

P.S. You should just bring his stuff back in from the porch and sell it on e-bay.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

huggggssssssss,
Faith1

<small>[ March 05, 2003, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</small>

Hi Orchid,
I saw your post start, and thought it was some kind of generic post about things ( in general) that happen on e-bay. Some kind of reference to a news article or something. When I saw it go two pages, I looked in on you.

My first reaction was sadness. I don't really fear for you right now, I am sure you learned to cope with many of these feelings long ago. I know that doesn't take away all the pain though.

You have always seemed to me to be very brave. I can tell from your posts that you are a giving, caring person and have admired the work you have done here...........

I am struggling with what to say, it's hard to express some things. You already know that this won't destroy you, because you have been through the fire and come out before. I have seen you give advice to others on how to outlast the hurt, so I know you can do that part. It's just that it's hard to see friends hurt and not be able to do anything about it.

I don't really have any advice for you but I care. I am praying for you and lending my faith to yours.

SS

Hey Orchid,
Am at work...and saw your post. I am so sorry.

After having gone through the same experience numerous times with my ex.....there comes a time when you have to get on with your life. It is hard...so very hard. But someone who does this over and over again to the people they are supposed to love and care for--has something wrong with them. Sad, but true.

Life is too short to have to put up with someone who can hurt you repeatidly in that kind of way...

I wish you the best....you and your son can still make a beautiful family. Not what we had envisioned, I know--and still feel sad about that. But unfortunately, our spouses don't have the same commitment.

Take care....Pat

Orchid,

Let me know if you want me to do something, this gumshoes has a lot of time on his hand ...

-rh-

Hi Orchid,

I haven't been around here in forever and a week and just popped in to see how everyone was doing and saw your post.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that the darn PBR has started again and for your situation. Thinking about you and you're in my prayers. You helped me through so much, Take care and stay strong.

L,

Just checking in on you. do you need anything from us?

Also, you have mail.

Love ya!
K

Hi all,

Thanks for your support. WS is quite jealous that I can come here, vent and get supported. NO comparison between an OW meeting a need vs MB support. No siree!!!!

WS may visit MB sometime. He is not a big fan of MB and has said that we invade the WS' privacy when we post here. A few MBers know both of us so he feels 'violated'?!??!

I have learned to babble back and not let his words affect me as deeply as before. When he makes charges against me, he gets to hear it back to him and about him. It is paying off. I am able to stay stronger as a result. No crying. I feel sick to my stomach but not like before.

Oh yea, I was told about being perfect and having to control him..... I told him he knew that was hogwash but if he wanted to believe it fine. I was not going to reason with someone that is angry at himself. He was caught and now has to deal with it.

He asks things slowly so I am sure the next few days will be rough.

He thinks everyone here hates him. Well I think I can safely say most hate the A and being the WS but those are titles he can choose to relinquish. The choice is his.

Thanks again for your support. OWs are a strange bunch....most can't keep their mouth shut and if the BS is patient enough, they will eventually spill the beans. Might be stinky but you will learn the truth.

take care,
L. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L,

I'm one of the ones that knows both of you. I do not hate your H, far from it. I despise what he is doing.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

You sound so strong L, I'm so proud of you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The offer still stands, call if you need. Heck you know where I live, just stop by. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

K

Hey, Orchid. Sorry to see you are still having problems. Some WS. just don't learn I guess. Mine is so much more in the fog I just don't really care anymore. It is his loss not mine. I guess someone else's family is what he wants. Hope you are doing ok, sounds like you aren't freaking out too bad. I really don't know what to say, I'm so confused about why people can keep hurting others like they do. Why not just end it if they don't have the guts to give up the OW? or OM? Why hold on? I just don't get it, but I guess that is something I shouldn't worry about. Take care, E-mail if you want to, I'm not going to WA after all, so will be around. L

Orchid

Just wanted to lend my support to you and what it is that you need to do at this time for YOU!!!

You are so strong and there for all of us it is our turn to be there for you!!!! MB support is awesome!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well...
I just wanna say...that I think for once I am speechless... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

QUICK!! someone pick pepperband and Mr. ARK off the floor....bet neither thought the day would come when I was speechless <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Just take care of you....
dig deep inside...decide for you what you can and will tolerate...and slowly move from that spot...

much strength to you...
Grace to you Orchid.
ARK

What the.... ??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Yup, it's sure a quality lifestyle they lead when they're off the wagon. Amazingly short memories too. Strong action and setting the bar high will hopefully "remind" him of reality.