Mortarman gave thoughtful, caring advice. MG related immidiately because he is articulate, honest and open. His background is similar to MG's and he can give her perspective. It seems a stretch even for the most paranoid to suggest that a focus on this sort of response is some sort of an attempt to seduce or create an unwise bond between two people of the opposite sex.
Also it is just plain silly to suggest that MG focused on Mortarman simply because he IS a man. Did anyone bother to read his lengthy, thoughtful responses to MG...his questions and responses to her? This was a mutually productive dialogue between two adults at opposite ends of a spectrum both sexually and in their marriages. MG young wife to a deployed serviceman, lonely and sad...concerned-NO frantic-over the state of her marriage. And Mortarman, older (sorry Mortar...but it is a fact you could be MG's dad) husband and serviceman to a wife who became so lonely and sad reiterating the question in her head..."Please tell me why I shouldn't have an affair?"...only Mrs. Mortarman never asked anyone but the OM this question...hence horrific pain for the Mortar family.
Thank God the Mortar family has a chance to rebuild.
I have followed both Mortarman and MG...I have told them both frankly do not involve yourself personally with members of the opposite sex. However there is a point when intelligent people of any sex can relate support, history, and experience to each other.
I do not see MG fulfilling an EN in her posts to Mortarman...I do see her looking for wisdom and direction.
It becomes tiresome for everyone to constantly explore MG's hidden motivations...plainly there aren't any. She wears her heart on her sleve.
I myself look for Mortarman's posts. He is articulate and honestly everything I think a husband should be...am I angling to pick him up? Or can someone under 25 only have those motivations? COME ON!! PU-LEAS!!
Give MG a break...you try living isolated away from family...alone with an infant...with a husband whose main dialogue consists of dirty jokes and chain e-mail's...What would you do? I doubt very many of us at 20 would look to a marriage builders site for input...frankly many people would pack it up and move on at any age.
It is NO huge revelation for MG that she enjoy's male attention...she is 20, now 21- (Happy Belated B-Day) gorgeous, smart, funny, and sweet. In spite all of this she is very reserved, respectful, and honorable. I find it offensive to women in general that it seem implausible that she is only focussing on Mortarman's responses because he is a man. Can not a beautiful woman find value in a man that is not considered a mode of seduction?
Give her some credit for conducting a perfectly civil dialouge with one of the most intelligent, honest, tortured, patient, faithful people on this board. If all you can see is a man and a woman conversing then consider opening your mind to the possibility of the value of differing perspectives exchanged in a healthy forum can be a reality and the hypersensitivity attached to male/female interaction may be a product of a personal bias rather than an actual questionable encounter.
ayslyne