Conqueror; I'm with you 100% on this issue, as I've been dealing with H's ED for almost 14 years now. I don't recommend this as a "graceful" way of bowing out of a sexual encounter, but last fall during a marathon session of my performing oral on my H, who was basically not responding, I started to cry. It ended the encounter for sure, but then I felt bad that H couldn't "finish". Now on the infrequent occasions that I'll try (after finding out about his 2nd EX that began-guess what?-last fall), I'll give HIM an "out" by asking him if he's too tired for me to continue when he doesn't seem to have any response at all. That way the ball is in his court, and I'm off the hook as far as the decision goes. of course, I don't really feel like trying much, especially as EA#2 still continues, although he denies it (gosh-then why does she call him and her call her-then erase the call log? Hmmm.) Anyway, it's a tough situation to be in. And BTW, I thin HoreverHers was TOTALLY off the mark in his reply to you-you DON'T sound cold and uncaring, and MOST men's ED problems are physical, not mental or emotional. In fact, my H was literally OVERJOYED when his Dr. said it was a vascular problem with him-that way he can't be responsible for our having no sex life 9at least in HIS head). Take care, "Desperate"

Oh geez-I meant "Foreverhers" in that lst post-that was a typo-NOT a Freudian slip (I hope!). Desperate