2long,

Sigh...I should have said way2 cute huh! We'll have to think of more ways 2 use the word imprompt2! It's the funniest one so far.

Don't forget a gift certificate for the dishes in the sink 2!

I am sure the roses are gorgeous. Seems 2 happen naturally in CA!! She'll either be starved and exhausted or just exhausted - in any case glad to be home with you I'm sure! I love the card that says CARD on it!! CSue

CSue:

She liked the card, 2! Almost better than the promises 2 do the office thing and the dishes!

We had a nice evening 2gether. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

2day, the dishes were still in the sink, and she was a bit annoyed with that, so when she went 2 take a nap I did them without a word.

Got a couple things 2 do here at work 2day, but then I'm running home 2 get dirty working on the house! ...it's HOT 2day!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

We met the contractor and painter 2 try some variations on the color scheme of the house. This ain't Sam Frank's Disco, so victorians in So. Cal. weren't painted so garishly, and we're toning it down quite a bit with our new choices, but not quite as much as the architect would like! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> But it'll be purdy!

'course, after the exterior paint is done and the scaffold is gone, we've only got about 3 years 2 go before it's all finished! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

-ol' 2long

2long:

As you're better, perhaps more intelligent, half, I just felt the need to point out some of the other good things that happened since our W came home last night that you forgot, as well as some of our "down moments" when we were starting to dwell on something said, or when we misinterpreted something she said or was going on.

Like, the great SF! or maybe the part about our D crying in her room about something thoughtless a friend said to her. We reacted to our W's annoyance at how trivial it all was, and silly it was for a 24 year old to get upset over it with surprise. And while we were doing the dishes, we were imagining all kinds of thoughtless thoughts going through our W's mind. But when we went and talked to our D, heard more about what was bothering her, and helped to calm her down, we went and talked to our W about it. And she thanked us for doing so. So, she doesn't think our D's problems are trivial like we were imagining. Who knows, maybe she was waiting for US to do something about it.

2long, I just thought this thread needed some real MEAT for the good ol' MBers out there to sink their teeth into. It's good that our "problems" are lessening, our marriage is getting better (slowly, but definitely!), but our thread titles lately don't have the pazzaz that may be needed to attract the best minds out there. And even when we can say "we're recovered!" (all three of us!), we'll still have issues to address. And even if our life becomes "perfect" in every way imaginable, there will be others that can use our help, split though it may be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

So, let's hear it! Let's get out there! Show them that gimongous pile of dirty laundry that didn't get completely washed because we ran out of soap!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
-Qfwfq

Qfwfq:

I feel like I'm talking 2 myself! (oh YEAH, I AM talking 2 myself!).

But, what would I have me do? Our subject title reflects very well what's happening in our si2ation right now. What would I have me change it 2, in order 2 attract attention? How about:

"Nuke the unborn gay baby fundamentalist christian secular humanist gray whale!"? or something? That's got pazzaz, 2 be sure! But it's not a good reflection of what we're going through right now, is it?

See, I don't think you're my more intelligent half. I think ol' 2long is more intelligent that I am!

-ol' 2long <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 14, 2003, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

2long:

Just remember: The first sign of insanity ISN'T talking to yourself, it's answering your own questions!

And what is it with those "2"s anyway?

-Qfwfq

Qfwfq:

Are the voices in my head bothering you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

As for the 2's, it's a genetic imperative. Ask Devo. They coined the term (the gi, not the 2! The 2 is MINE!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

And besides, if I'm insane, then so are you, because you're ME (though a somewhat diminished version thereof).

-ol' 2long

And besides, ol' Qfwfq, I don't think we have anything 2 worry about. I haven't changed the subject of this thread, so we'll be on page 3 in NO time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Our li'l secret is SAFE!

-ol' 2long

2long:

Now wait a minute! You'ze DAID! We KILLED you last fall, remember? When you'ze gets daided, you'ze supposed to stay daided! Your primary objective is suppose to be being the best daisy-pusher in the bone orchard, remember? :

"2long is daid! (sung 2 the 2ne of “Poor Jud is Daid”)

2long is daid, ol’ 2long is daid;
All gather ‘round his coffin now and cry.
He had a heart of gold and he wasn’t very old,
Oh, why did such a fella have 2 die?

2long is daid, ol’ 2long is daid;
He’s lookin’ oh, so peaceful and serene (and serene!).
He’s all laid out 2 rest with his hands across his chest;
His fingernails have never been so clean.

Why then the preacher’d get up and he’d say:
“Folks, we’re gathered 2gether here 2day 2 moan and groan over brother 2long, who hung himself from that 2x4 in the rafters of the MB smokehouse.”
(Then there’d be weepin’ and wailin’, from some of the MB posters)

Then he’d say:
“2long was the most misunders2d man on the 4um. People used 2 think he was a mean, ugly fella; used 2 think he was a dirty skunk and orn’ry pig stealer.”
But the folks who really knowed him, know that beneath the 2 gaudy Converse All-Stars that he always wore,
There throbbed a stubbed big toe as big as all outdoors (as big as all outdoors!).

2long loved his fellow Mber.
He loved the birds of the forest,
He loved the beasts in the field,
He loved the mice and vermin and he treated the rats like equal (which was right).
He loved everybody and everything, he loved the OP only…only he never let on, so nobody ever knowed it.

2long is daid, ol’ 2long is daid;
His friends’ll weep and wail for miles around (miles around!).
The daisies in the dell will give out a different smell
Because 2long is underneath the ground.

2long is daid, a candle lights his haid.
He’s layin’ in a coffin made of wood (wood!).
And folks are feelin’ sad ‘cause they used 2 treat him bad,
But now they know their friend is gone for good (good!).

2long is daid, a candle lights his haid.
He’s lookin’ oh, s’purdy and s’nice.
He looks like he’s asleep, it’s a shame that he won’t keep,
But it’s summer and we’re runnin’ out of ice.
2… …long
2… …long"

-Qfwfq

Oh, cut it out, Q! People on here will start thinking we're full of ourself! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Besides, I've racked up almost 3500 posts, and whadaya you and T-zero have amongst youz? Mabye a K or 2?

Pitiful, just pitiful.

I'm stayin' undaid!
-2long

And another thing, Qfwfq! Whenever I click on "recent visitors" I only see ol' 2long, no Q! ...hey, that must mean you'ze been using my 'puter!? Dawg, you scoundrel!

-ol' 2long.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Are you drinking?????

Are we on Mars yet?

Pepper:

No, not drinking, but a little giddy that I'm going 2 be off on "vacation" 2 work on the house for the next 2 weeks. That and a couple of short, cool trips planned.

I need a break!

Drinking? What? Who, me or Q? (I think he's a nutball, if you must know. I'm much more level-headed than he is!).

-ol' 2long

ROTFLMAO!!!

I'm just sitting here....shaking my head a lot...and thinking of all the dishes and laundry that could have gotten done during that schizophrenic outburst. I used to do a little routine like that in high school. I'd do an out and out argument between myself and...my self. Hee hee!

Hey 2long (cause I ain't talkin to that other guy) I got my Barlow! It definatly made the moon bigger! But I couldn't get power out to my scope last night to try mars. I've got plans for it tonight! Thanks so much for the info! Apogee was SOOOOO good to me! I stuttered through the phone call, and they still made me feel like I was a NOVICE not an IDIOT! I run my own business that way (computers), and it's so nice to know others do too!!! GREATLY appreciate the tip you gave me!

2L, and Q,

I would like to speak to both of you for a moment. Most of what you said made sense, but one thing you said was just plain crazy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You mentioned painting your Vic TASTEFULLY

Now it is a known fact, that TASTE and SoCal are a mutually exclusive set. So I am sitting her wondering about the paint job on the Vic. Which Low Rider paintshop is coming over to do this job?

I sort of envision, a glazed purple, with HOT pink trim, and candy apple doors with flames paint on them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tell me I am wrong, and it is really only Olive drab with mustard yellow trim.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

JL

PS: If I were picking it for you, the roof would be White, with sort of an uneven white below the roof line. Same on the very ground portion of it. THe rest would be shades of rust red, with strong brown influences. The doors would be sort of irregular in their paint sort of giving the idea of roundness like a crater, rather than JUST a door.

A place like that would need a name: "Mons" sounds about right. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The cool thing is that you two get two votes and W gets only one. So you got it if you want it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ August 15, 2003, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

H4F:

Glad 2 hear the barlow worked out! I'm loggin' in as ol' 2 2day, so you'll talk 2 me!

JL:

Man, It almost IS olive drab and mustard yellow! The architect was really disappointed 2 hear that we want 2 put the "twilight gray" on the trim, and the "Autum light buff" (or whatever the hell it's called) on the fishscale shingles, not the other way around. Sheez. And he's bummed that we decided against the reds in favor of a cool green on some of the trim.

Heck, it USED 2 look like a circus wagon! Originally it was gray and light green, so far as we can tell. When we put the roof on (the first time, when the roofer set the house on fire), we went downtown 2 cultural affairs for approval 2 put a band of color shingles around the edge of the roof, and diamonds on the tower facets, but they wouldn't let us do any designs. But then, when we showed them that the original roof was black, and the tower roof was red, they wouldn't let us do THAT either. Ol' Judge Hatch is turning over in his grave, I'm betting!

I'm at work for a few. But I'm supposed 2 be on vacation! It's quieter, cooler, and more relaxing here in my office than at home though!

I had 2 come in 2 transfer some credit onion funds 2 upholster our checking account for bills!

Things have been mostly good this week. W is home for the week. But we're working 2 hard, and I'm exhausted most of the time. This am, she had 2 deal with an email from her friend/former coworker about some confusion with RM's report input. Gadzooks, her last job is never going 2 leave her be! They're also concerned about some stuff that's still missing from RM. What a flake! Then, she said something about her new job, and how she needed some references that probably he'd be the best 2 provide her with, but she "can't talk 2 him." I must have made a pained expression, because she came over for a hug.

I dunno. Until she called me 2 see how it's going, and apologized for getting upset that we didn't have enough funds for the bills in checking, I started imagining all kinds of things again... ...and no, I have not said "you can't talk 2 him". I've left that entirely up 2 her, but I'd appreciate complete honesty if she does talk 2 him. I don't think she has lately, though. This am, she wanted 2 show me something that her other former coworker/friend had sent her in an email 2 her hotmail account, so she opened it up with me looking over her shoulder. Now, granted her friend sent the email yesterday, but if RM had sent her anything since then, I'd have seen it before she could have done anything. It's just possible that she may be deleting incoming messages from him as she reads them, but again, if that were the case, she took a chance on me seeing any that might have come in this morning. So, I believe her sincerity lately. Like I told someone else, the past couple of months I've had 2 shift my paradigms almost daily, mostly in good ways, so this is just a hiccup for me mostly.

Just thought I'd post since I had a few minutes.
-2long

Hi 2long,

I'm at work, but since I haven't had lunch yet, maybe I'll take a few minutes (yeah, right, like I have ever kept it down to that) and post to you.

I'm at work for a few. But I'm supposed 2 be on vacation! It's quieter, cooler, and more relaxing here in my office than at home though!

We have two air contitioners out at work today, but luckily the one where my office is works fine. I'm happy beause I am sitting here drinking a cup of milk and eating choclate cake. If you get done early today, come by and I'll give you some too. It's left over from W's birthday party yesterday. Homemade cake, homemade frosting. Store bought milk, but after milking cows for a few years as a teenager, I'll take store bought now.

Then, she said something about her new job, and how she needed some references that probably he'd be the best 2 provide her with, but she "can't talk 2 him." I must have made a pained expression, because she came over for a hug.

That in itself is an improvement. You would know better than me, but for a long time she didn't seem to care about your feelings.

I dunno. Until she called me 2 see how it's going, and apologized for getting upset that we didn't have enough funds for the bills in checking, I started imagining all kinds of things again... ...and no, I have not said "you can't talk 2 him". I've left that entirely up 2 her, but I'd appreciate complete honesty if she does talk 2 him.

When you get so you can *always* say what is on your mind and she can (and will) do the same, you won't start imagining things any more, you will just say what is on your mind. By then, you will probably have trust back anyway.

I don't think she has lately, though. This am, she wanted 2 show me something that her other former coworker/friend had sent her in an email 2 her hotmail account, so she opened it up with me looking over her shoulder. Now, granted her friend sent the email yesterday, but if RM had sent her anything since then, I'd have seen it before she could have done anything. It's just possible that she may be deleting incoming messages from him as she reads them, but again, if that were the case, she took a chance on me seeing any that might have come in this morning. So, I believe her sincerity lately. Like I told someone else, the past couple of months I've had 2 shift my paradigms almost daily, mostly in good ways, so this is just a hiccup for me mostly.

Be Proactive. Don't just let things take their course, engineer the course.

Do you feel you are getting better at communicating your feelings, and helping her to communicate hers?

What things that you did while she was gone helped her the most - as far as your relationship goes?

What things did you do while she was gone that helped you the most?

What things did she do that helped you the most, and did you tell her how and why they helped, and thank her for doing them?

Just thought I'd post since I had a few minutes. -2long

Me too.

Good to hear from you, as always. I am glad you are doing better personally, and I would suppose that if your W is starting to recover, she is happier about life and better able to cope with everything. It's hard to tell sometimes just what causes the improvement. No contact would really help things though.

As a personal observation, don't be afraid to start talking. You will learn when it's best to begin. You will learn that you can guide the conversation by what you say, and even the expression on your face. You can smile when she exprersses her feelings so she knows it makes you happy to hear from her. I think the people with the best marriages also have the best communication. I know you long (intended) for an outstanding marriage, and not just an OK one. Keep doing the things that will help you reach your goal.

" did you ever think two years ago that we would be doing this well by now?"

"where do you want to be living, and what do you want to be doing 10 years from now."

and if that gets an "iduno" then:

" OK, then tell me your dreams, so I can help you follow them."

Life is more than the things that we do. Life is also the things that we feel, and there are ways to amplify good feelings, and to create more of them.

I think you need to live your dreams too, not just cope and exist from day to day. I think you are finally getting to where you can do that.

Do you feel that way?

Can you dream again yet?

SS

StillSeeking....

Friday evening, H and D and I are flying into SLC to visit S in Provo.

We are going to be returning Sunday night.

Any cool things going on in Provo?

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Pep,
I honestly don't know. I am about 265 miles from Provo, and don't keep in touch with what is happening there very well.

Just drove thru there on Saturday night on my way home, but didn't stop, because my W was waiting for me and she said "Hurry home."

I have been thinking about your S and seen your comments that he is improving. That makes me happy, but I continue to pray for him, and for you.
Mostly for you that you can continue to help others here, for I believe you do a good job of that. Also that you may have peace in your heart, and know that you did a good job of teaching and training him while you had the chance. Often we blame ourselves for our childrens troubles, even when we did all that we could have done with the abilities we had at the time.

I hope the visit goes well. I wish for the time when he says " Thank you for doing this for me, and bringing me back. Thank you for loving me, and not giving up on me. Thank you for being my Mom." I believe you will see that day, if you have not already.

Sometimes I think I would like to post to you and tell you of the respect I have for you - and love if it's OK to say that. I think you understand, and in the right context, I believe that word is proper to use. I have a great deal of love and respect for all those that give their time and talent here to help others.

I almost commented about you on Hope's thread, but I was on the road and it wasn't my laptop, nor did I have enough time to do more than read a little that night.

Sighhhhh..............

I probably say way too much sometimes, but It comes, so I type. Please have a very good trip. Please tell us about it when you get back. sorry I couldn't help more.

SS

Oh, and BYU usually has a display (rotating museum) of some kind that I have always found interresting. I have been to one on Africa, and one on Ancient Egypt. It was in a two story building on the north east corner of the campus, but I don't know the building names or the street numbers. My oldest son lived in South Africa for a few years and I could hardly get my W out of the Africa display, but the museum closed so they did it for me. I think we were there for over two hours, and for me that means it was interresting.
I have no idea what they have going on now.

Sometimes I have to think about things for a while before I can come up with something. Hope that helps. I can't even tell you the best places to eat there now, it's been 2long (I did that on purpose) since I lived there.

Two weeks off, wouldn't it be nice.

I read your exchange with qfwfq and thought of this for you.

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I am Schizophrenic
and so am I.

And I thought I was bad sometimes. (OK, I am, you don't have to say anything.)

Hope good stuff continues.

SS