Yvette, I just wanted to add that Christian "love" is not parroting nice words to people or sitting by idly while evil abounds, but rather through truth and deed:

1John 3:18 Little children, let us not love in word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

We are commanded to "rebuke" our brother when he is in sin and to reprove darkness.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can kind of understand this, but in my opinion, what kind of person, knowing that someone is madly in love with somebody & married to them, will deliberately try to take that away? Not one of very good character. But then again, who am I to judge? Her sins aren't any worse than my own, just different.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are a Christian who can judge right from wrong, aren't you? That is who you are to judge. Unless you are a hypocrite. We are commanded to judge right from wrong, using righteous judgement. Now, if you are also committing adultery [I am not aware that you are] then you would be right in saying "who am I to judge" because we are not to judge hypocritically. [Matt 7:1-5]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Standing_for_M:
That's what I've been doing. And it finally paid off. OW confessed to her H. H wants me to meet her so he can take the children with them places. He wants to be able to take his children wherever he wants & with me not wanting them around her until I see her first & know what kind of person she is, he is limited on where he can go & with whom.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry I missed this paragraph earlier but I wanted to comment on it. WHO told you that the OW told her H? Did the OW's H himself tell you that his W told him? If not, I would be highly suspicious about the veracity of this coming from your H. It's probably another lie.

Either way, that clears the way for you to contact the OW's H and discuss the situation with him. All the reasons you gave above are now removed. You can be a great support to each other. You should be doing everything in your power to end this affair, and getting in touch with him will help immensely.

I guess he wasn't too "violent," huh?

Secondly, your children should not be exposed to the OW under any circumstances. They need to be protected from this sleazy, sordid situation at all costs. Their father has temporarily lost his mind, the only person they have to depend on to be sane right now is *YOU.* Please don't let them down, you are ALL they have!

Of course the OW is not a person of good character, you can tell that by her sleazy, selfish behavior. Unfortunately, they still have to see their father while he is in this state, they DON'T have to see his mistress. It would be grossly irresponsible to expose them to this affair. It only sends the message to your kids - and the affairees - that adultery must be A-OK since Mom condones it.

Yvette, its one thing entirely to not lovebust and another matter entirely to ACCOMMODATE an affair. I think you have crossed that line and now become an ENABLER and an ACCOMMODATOR. You shouldn't be making disrespectful judgements but you also shouldn't be pretending that his affair is acceptable or aiding or abetting their affair.

Well, Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away. I would like to take this time to thank everyone for their support and I'm sorry if I haven't followed the true Plan A but I need to weigh the advice given on this board with what I read in scripture and the fact of telling the OWH, IMHO, does not line up with scripture. We are told not to confess someone else's sins, just our own. I believe I have violated some scriptures by informing everyone on this board of my husband's sins, and for that I'm sorry. I do believe though that since my H already confessed to me, that it wouldn't really count. I'm not sure on that one though. I would really prefer not to discuss this issue anymore.

On the upbeat side, we are seeing more of H. He's coming quite frequently to see the kids, & staying there most of the night. He has eaten meals with us & it seems as if he's enjoying the time he's spending. I don't know if he's just enjoying his time with the kids, or if I'm also included in that category. Either way, I do enjoy him being around.

We haven't discussed anything about OW and I intend to keep it that way. I wished I would have heard from him on my b-day (21st), but I didn't. Come to find out the next day, when he came over, he had tried to call & discovered his cell phone was disconnected (I KNOW this is the truth due to his circumstances). That made me feel a whole lot better. I did have a party thrown by my daughter. She's only 11 but she can plan real well! It was nice to have my BIL's and their girlfriends there as well as see the rest of my family. The only thing missing was -- you guessed it. I found out later that they were going to invite him as well, but my daughter told them he had to work when the party was planned for.

I am a little fearful that the Thanksgiving holiday will be harder than I expect it to be, but I pray that my oldest son enjoys the time with his father (they're going to see his family upstate) and that me and my other two children enjoy the time we're going to share with the rest of my family. I am so thankful for the blessings in my life & feel like I have to praise God all the time despite the situation I'm in currently.