Hi all , well recently I thougth I was just having a BUMP in my recovery and was scared of all the work it takes to continue . That may still very well be the case . I just don't know any more .

Confused , well thats an understatement LOL

I feel lost , lost in my self and in this Marriage . Forgivness I don't think has a part in this . Its worrying about false recovery and having that very GUT feeling CONTACT may be taking place .

For a few weeks now my husband has been unaccountable for 30 mins a day . I know some may say well 30 mins , no big deal hes at work and yes very busy . BUT ......Its the very same time of day of OW lunch hour . Phone is off and he does not respond to any of his pages either .

Following the half hour laps he will call , as he use to probbly knowing that I was trying to get in touch with him . This is the delemma I keep nothing in , I tell him that the phone was off , he swares its not , I say I paged he says he didn't recieve any ( I paged 88x's in the ha;f hour LOL)

Same old , been there , done this . !!!!

Hetells me he is happy and never wants to speack to OW again , wouldn't do that ever. BLAH BLAH BLAH . But yet I still find the phone off . I can get in touch with him any other time and always gets my pages any other time of the day .

I check his cell phone and there are NO incoming or outgoing calls for that half hour . So I jknow the phone is off .

So now he is in the DENY till you DIE stage . NO his attitude at home has not changed at all to me . BUT that only means to me he is still continuing at the least a friendship with OW .

Yes I could probbly drive there and track them down and catch him in the lie and see them together . And most likely this is what I will do .

I just am so tired of being the HOUND DOG always having to CATCH him and him just not telling me .

BY now I have done everything (I think) that he should know All I WANT IS HONESTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know he probbly thinks that if they are just talking and she is not bothering him with calls at home or expecting any relationship from him that its a inocent freindship , knowing that I would not except that , He probbly thinks that he is PROTECTING me and that it will cause a probbly for our M if he tells me . He would tell me it means nothing .I have told him all this . I told him that yes it would mean something , we all know that freind between OP and WS can never be .

And it very well could be us and nothing to do with there freindship , but every time we are not intamate I will always blame that .

I am very scared to find them together not for the fact of the A , but the fact that I will do something very harmful to OW .

I do not trust myself with that anger , I have been spending alot of time at TOW , and can see ALOT ALOT of these women have no problem being the secret and think they aren't hurting anyone and do not care , they feel the M is over and thats the BS'S problem .

I Know at tis point she is an evil women and only wants to make sure she prove to me he couldn't stop being with her or talking to her . Also she is very bitter for what he did to her and NEVER wanted him to come back home to me cause she would feel horriable for beliving in him .

As long as she can have contact it proves to me what she wanted to prove to me ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT !

False Recovery would send me to a place I don't think I could ever come out of . It will brake me and shatter me in to a world of HATE !

All that I knew would be finally lost never exsisted . I explained to him that if there was renewed contact that I would left to belive that everything we had was a lie and never exsisted . I would not know who I M , that he would be a stranger some deranged manipulater that had this plan to destroy me all along . Our love never exsisted our children born under a lie nothing was real ever .

So I am leaving at that , I will lurk and read I 'm sure . Its been 1 year since I found MB and at time this is the only outlet I have to a world I do not want to be in , where I found my sanity . The people here that have helped and comforted me , talked me down off that cliff I have been on more times then I want to rember .

Miss M, Still, TO4T, ect. So many Orchid , Mortaman , MIMI , and STUNNED . So many more ...

thank you all I know I was so head strong and stuborn and didn't do it MB way for many of my own stupid resonses .

I feel all the time contact was ongoing in front of me was so they could set the perfect plan , not so he could get rid of her , I think he wanted to convince her that they are good together if all is quit and not to complicated . This is just my thought I have no proff .

He has poured his heart to me the past month but when we are finished I feel he is doing it to cover his tracks , don't know why , just the feeling . maybe again its me just to scared to be happy in fear that it could be ripped from me again .

MAybe I am not strong enough , a qulity that he feels I have more then anyone he ever meet . Says he always wished he had my strenght .

Maybe I never knew him at all , maybe OW was right he wants her but is scared just plan scared to change his life .

Hell this is one part of all WS I do not understand If in love and feels that great $HIT go with it leave and live your life . The hell with who gets hurt , you should be happy .

I want no questions answered from him no explaination just move the hell on if she is that GOOD , Just don't hold me hostage .

I do not want to question him , his wear abouts , his phone nothing I don't want to live like this any more .

I give up , I can't live with this distrust any more . But I can't live without 110% of him either . So I do not know where to go from here or what I will do to FIX me . Live with fear , live with blinders , I mean I do not have much to go on , if conrtact is there I have very little and I mean very little to go on .

question is to belive or not to belive ???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

well the book is done this was long and I am sorry just needed to get some thougths out of the head !!! Clean the cobwebs !!!!LOL

3,

Honestly, I've been thinking alot about you this weekend.

I guess you know my story. My FWH recontacted the OW after he came back home. He decided to stay with me and admit to the contact. However, like you, I continue to live with the fear that contact is continuing. It has made me so anxious at times that it has affected my functioning. What I am saying is that I really understand what you are going through.

What has helped me is to see it like an addiction. She is like a drug dealer for him. I don't think it's helpful for you to go to TOW site. That way, you, too, coming under the influence of the drug or their way of thinking. They live in an alien world, 3.

We believe in marriage, in the goodness, the significance, the importance and the value of marriage. We speak a different language. Fight for your marriage, 3. Let him know that you will not tolerate any further contact or you will resort to PLAN B. You know the deal, 3. This process works.

Don't leave us. We can be hear for you as you go through this.

Don't give up!

Mimi I wanted to post to you I was crying for days when you posted That your FWS renewed contacted and cryed twice as hard that HE CALL OW IN FRINT OF YOU and said, NO MORE !!!

I want that so very much . I would never again do plan B . Its all or nothing this time if contact is there I want nothing or it all .

NO more Plans I can't live through any thing else . Thanks for the post

Hi 3isacrowd. I'm sorry, you sound VERY upset. I don't blame you for being suspicious. Has your husband given you an explanation about where he is this half hour everyday when his phone mysteriously stops working? If he has worked with you for any length of time with the concepts here he knows very well that ANY contact with the OW is unacceptable. You need to be able to confirm what's going on, but please DON'T confront the OW! That won't do you any good.

I feel a lot of the same things you do all the time. My WW wants to reconcile and I have been allowing her the chance to show me she can change. Part of that is having her be accountable for her whereabouts and activities ALL the time. The WS has to be able to understand the need for this by the BS, and if they can't then IMO they aren't really trying as hard as they need to to save their M. If my WW hesitates or acts like she doesn't want to do something that I think she needs to do (within the boundaries of MB principles) then I will be done with this. I think the WS has to fully appreciate the chance they are being given by the BS and act in a way that shows it. Maybe I'm getting a little too hard core in my old age, but that's what feels right to me.

I think maybe you are dwelling on things in an unhealthy way too much. The fact that you spend so much time at the TOW sight tells me that you may be immersing yourself in too much of the negative side of things. I've never been to this site but from what I've heard it can't do anything positive for a person in your position. JMHO. Good Luck!

Hi 3isacrowd,

I don't know if this will help but when my husband was having an affair and he claimed his cell phone was off or he couldn't hear it or it was out of range, blah blah, I looked up his(our) cell phone accounts on the local cell phone website and printed out the log of calls he had coming in and going out. You could see if there were any calls to OW coinciding with this period that you are worried about.You would have to already have an online account and password or pin,etc but it may work for you. It also is sneaky but hey, we have the right to know. I was lucky enough to find the OW cell phone number and home number and guess what,she got a nice little message from me on her cell phone! In hindsight, maybe not the best idea but at the time, it felt great! What a surprise for her.It was, the beginning of the end for them both. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Go with your gut instinct. For me it was so accurate, all the way through.

Starman thanks for the response , always helpful knowing your listened to . HIs explanation well its the weak kind LOL same as I got when contact was going on .. He is at work , the phone must have been in a dead zone , says he never turns it off (thats what he said back then to but when he confesed he told me he always use to turn it off)

Stupid lier ? yep ! You think they would learn a new one . No he sticks to it like glue . Ok I sound bitter , the truth I don't know for sure , but its lokking like a DUCK to me , so ya know what they say must be a DUCK LOL

In fairness to him , yes he has been up until this month accountable for his time . All time and could prove it. Its 6 months N/C as far as I know so could this be the itch I guess . A junky needing the fix maybe . who knows .

HE says he is willing to go along with all and for the most part does with out a flinch , but this well like I said, she wasn't going to give up I saw that . And he refused to tell her he was home . I like an as agreed to this as part of our recovery and now regret it so much , cause I see the potential of her and him having the upper hand . Saying she was the victom again if they get court and him not allowing her to look like the type that would mess with a KNOWING MM .

Octobergirl - Thanks as well . I've been around the block on the cell thing .
I can't get access company phone I do not ever see the bills . other thing is theres no calls from her or to her on phone DELETED could be But I do not think they are talking on phone at that time , I belive he is seeing her at this time of the day . they only work blocks from one another.

No the only way to get court is for me to catch them together at that time . Or pray she gets nuts again and screws up and starts her calling all times of the day and night to him . Then the agreement is he must tell her that he is home and that I know about the calls . OR I can give this up not be bothered and walk away from my M . JUst go and start the paper work .

I just don't know but like I said, I need only alittle more time . I probbly will compose myself one morninmg and go for the hunt one last time in my life . I am the type that needs the trueth right in my face . Need to know I am not crazy for thinking there is contact .

3:

I wish you could build your confidence in yourself and know that you can take care of yourself and do the right thing.

If I were you, I would catch them since he is not going to admit anything. However, once you do, be at a place where you can stay calm and collected and let him know that you will not put up with continued contact.

Remember she is the drug dealer. He's hooked on the drug. I agree with you, having been there more times than I want to count, that there is probably contact. My WH actually clicked the cell phone off one time when I called. That was a hurting feeling. I had the fantasy of her being right there as he did it.

I really believe that I am the victor now. You can make it and handle it, 3.

I also understand your rage at the OW. I am so afraid of what I might do if I meet up with her face to face. However, I keep reminding myself how I am not going to stoop to her gutter level. She's a sleaze, 3. You are a QUEEN.

Hang in there!!!

Okay 3

Go ahead and check up on him. I suggest you go to his office one day while he has this gap in time.

See if he is where he claims he was. Put a taped dated note under his desk where it can't be found.

Then ask him again if he was at his office as he claims and the phones simply didn't work.

If he lies and says he was the next day go and follow him or have someone you can trust to follow him....make sure they take a camera or camcorder with them.

The only way to put to rest suspicions is to investigate them....plain and simple.

You will either confirm your fears or put them to rest.

But expecting your FWH to confess if he is indeed being unfaithful again is foolhardy.

He knows being caught a second time means divorce. He obviously will not admit to being involved again.

You have to do this on your own and confirm or deny what you have posted here.

If he is caught you can tell him to look under his desk for the postit from the day before. Then tell you watched it two days running. Posted the note just to let him know you were indeed watching all this time......heck if you want back date the note by a week and really make him think you have all the goods that way you should get a better confession if guilty.

My heart goes out to you! I suffered through 3 d-days before my husband was finally free of the nasty "fog". Each time I wondered why I let him come home, but now that it has been almost two years since d-day number 3, and I know why. Our marriage continues to grow every day. Sure I am still having trouble with trust, but I have never lost my trust in God and He has carried me through. The trusting keeps getting easier as time goes on.

For some reason we are all here fighting to save our marriages. We all ask ourselves why and wonder if it is worth it. I am here to tell you that it can be worth ever tear, every heart-ache, and every sleepless night. It is the possiblility of having a wonderful marriage and living happily ever after that we are all looking for. Don't give up! The story book ending can come true!

In the mean time, go with your gutt feelings. For some reason, they seem to be right.

Many prayers!

Le

Dear 3, I wrote to you yesterday just before I left work but the dang computer froze up and did all kinds of wierd things. (Kinda like a WH) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I KNOW your H knows how this is upsetting you. Could he maybe call you during this time period? He definitely needs to address this issue and not just dismiss it. It may not have anything to do with OW. Try not to jump to any conclusions 3. You should have proof positive of contact before you think about throwing all you've worked for down the toilet.

Right now, I'm having so many reminders (triggers). I find myself thinking about what I was doing last year at this time, blind to what my H was doing, and wondering were they together today/tonight and laughing at me cause I had no clue what was going on. I work myself into a depressed and angry fit. Then I take everything that's happening today (H doesn't answer phone, comes in later than usual, doesn't want to talk, doesn't hug me)and think "Yep, he was a good liar last year, he's probably got me fooled again!" I think to be lied to again is probably a BS's worst fear. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> (Anyone know a surefire cure for this agonizing thought cycle?) You want to trust and feel safe with H, but you can't yet.

My opinion on the TOW board: Waste of time reading what a bunch of second and third-stringers think about marriage and/or commitments. What could they possibly know? MB is much more positive for MBing.

So 3, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF THE KEYBOARD AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TOW BOARD! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Stick around here 3, you're family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Hugs to you 3.
{{{{{3}}}}}

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 10:21 AM: Message edited by: TooOld4This ]</small>

3,

{{{{{HUGS!!!}}}}} <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

So sorry to hear you are going thru this stuff.

Once again, I will say that the TOW isn't helping you, and maybe triggering your feelings of loss of trust. Making things worse.

I have to say that you need to do what you need to do in order to give yourself some peace of mind. If that means you show up at the time your H has his cell off, then do it. If you have to snoop then do it, and get this over with. I hate to see you suffering so much.

Just know that we all love you and care. We are here to help you. I don't believe you are getting any help from the TOW board. I just fuels your imagination. This is unhealthy.

At least we all care about you here and support you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hope you are feeling better. Praying for you as always!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

TO4T ya cracked me up LMAO . Yes WH are WEIRD I really do agree .

To all who responed thank you .

I have a question STUNNED , You said its foolish to think FWS would admitt to contact . I am just curouis , Why do ya think that is ? I mean I get the he feels it will result in D , but if in contact wouldn't that be ultimately what he would want any way ??

Maybe this is MY problem I don't get the lies , I may try way to hard to try to understand things that are not meant to be understood . Does that make sense ??

Fun I was ready to go there today and I get into a car that won't start LOL pretty weird try again friday .

Oh and thanks for the suggestion about the note on desk , but H's job has him out of office and in different buildings at any given moment . Impossiable for that one . No I know the only way to do this is to be waiting at OW's job for him to show up or follow her when she leaves for lunch and see if they meeat .

Thats why I said , I really need to be ready for this , cause it will mean being face to face with the both of them if I catch them . And I just got a way of ACTING before thinking . So I am trying to see if I am ready for this . Hopefully keeping myself out of jail . Ya know I may get the gas and brake confused .

Theres such a part of me that wants to leave it all alone , not be the hunter anymore , but I don't want them making an A$$ out of me .

Like those OW say the BS just played stupid , put those BLIND folds on . I really want to some times and leave it to faith that it will come out on its own.

But then the fear of doing that kicks in , letting them play and me and him pretending to be happy, then one day he comes home and says he just don't love me anymore and tryed his best . And it had nothing to do with OP . (ya know the line )

Then they walk off and got one over on ya .

YA see this all stems from the begining of him trying to have the A in secret and telling me it was us and we can't work . If he wouldn't have gotten court he would have convinced me , family and freinds that , that was what it was about .

Me catching him , exposing it and all knowing he never tryed to work on our issues is what screwed him all up .

Although he says no , he never intended on D EVER. Always knew he would be back and work on things .

I asked him to come to MB to post or even read he said no , that HIS A was different and not incommon with any ones here LOL I told him they have a common ground WS's betrayed and lied thats all the common ground ya need .

He talked to me for 2 to 3 hours about 2 weeks ago or less I don't rember . Anyway I said before he seems to ppour his heart out , but I can't belive . He told me she ment nothing in that he did not LOVE her at all never even had those type of feelings for her . But yes did he tell her he did YES and he admitts that , but says it was just that she fell for him and he felt bad so he was going along with something he knew was wrong .

The deeper she fell for him the more scared he became and the more worried that he got himself into something way to out of control .

He tried to explain to me I LOVE YOU are three words that can be said , But they are harder to say when your heart is saying them .

He says when he was doing anything with her shopping , eating , ect he wasn't doing them with her , she was just the one standing there with him . He was exsisting and she was in front of him just a person any person . But when he does shop with me , eat , watch TV he is SHARING those things with me . Theres a difference.

He says I am having a hard time exceptin that she was not more to him , that I am in my head thinking she was a fantasy that he needed filled or that he had a LOVING R with her , and that he says is the problem he did not LOVE HER , WASN"T IN LOVE WITH HER none of the above .

He was himself helping someone in a bad way in life and she fell in love with him and he went along with it out of the confusion of not wanting to admit he had issuses unresolved matters of the heart with me . And that coming home meant he needed to face those and that now the mess he created would just be another wrong doing on his part .. So the more scared he ran again until time just goes by .

This was some of the convo .

Yes I asked for more answers and better explaination and yes he sat down and gave them to me . Whats wrong with me that I walked away and felt good for 2 seconds then instantly said to myself that was another manipulation to through me off track ..???

He called today to tell me that another job he applyed for may be coming through , I asked if he was going to take it if it did . He said of course this would be better for us I would be with out this cell phone , beeper, this BOURGH of where OW works &lives it will help our M even more .

He would be even taking a huge 25,000 pay cut . witch we would have to sell house and change alot but he doesn't care . So WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!


Is IT THAT OW STILL DOES NOT KNOW HE CAME HOME !!!!????????????????????????????????????

I am so lost all over again , I am crying as much as I did during D-Day . I can't control it I am way out there . And If he walked out right now I don't know if i would shut the door and just go to sleep and do nothing with myself at all . I don't care and then again all I care about is that MY HUSBAND HURT ME AND I AM SCARED TO know OW may be sharing my life .

OK I got to go I am rambling ,and he just called DURING THAT TIME ! BUT its not good today cause he could have went anytime today HER D has off from school so she probbly has off .

NOTHING ever adds up at all , or is it just my MATH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: 3isacrowd ]</small>

3,

Considering how aggressive ow was, do you really at this point want your FWS to have CONTACT and let fow know he is home with you?

Is it that important that the ow knows the truth, or that YOU do? I think you have the truth now.

Seems like your FWS has told you a lot of things that many a BS would love to hear. ie: not ever in love with ow, etc. Your H is really coming along. He is getting in the right place.

Do you really want renewed contact so you can have what you want?

You have gotten so much good advice.

I see what you want. I wanted it to. Never happened. But I have a H that loves me and we have a relationship that I prayed for for 16 years. It really doesn't matter to me. It is done.

Love and prayers, okay I am done.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

<small>[ November 13, 2003, 12:11 AM: Message edited by: Miss M ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have a question STUNNED , You said its foolish to think FWS would admitt to contact . I am just curouis , Why do ya think that is ? I mean I get the he feels it will result in D , but if in contact wouldn't that be ultimately what he would want any way ??
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Couple or reasons. One is obvious he may want his cake and eat it to...maybe unfair for me to say that because I don't know him but he could be wanting both worlds.

Secondly many in the field of infidelity and WSs that post here say an affair is like an addiction. He may still need the high the affair represents...not the high she represents.

Is it possible a wayward spouse can still love their spouse while in an affair?

Seems inconceivable to a betrayed spouse but countless wayward spouses have said just that on MBs and again numerous experts have authored on that.

Some common themes:

1) The OP in most cases is not as attractive or no more attractive than the BS. That includes looks, education, money and so on.
2) A large percentage of affairs occur in what the WS described as a happy marriage.
3) Again a large percentage of those who had an affair said they were satisified with their BS as a wife or husband.
4) Very few affairs are exit affairs. Many lead to divorce roughly 2 out 3 marriages do not survive an affair but someone posted here on MB that less than 3% marry the person they had an affair with.

3

It is true that in most cases affairs are not about the betrayed as illogical as that sounds.

It is true sometimes affair just happen...yeah I know what you are thinking I thought that too but Frank Pittman in Private Lies devotes almost an entire chapter on "unintentional affairs".

I know the pounding your self worth took because of the affair makes it difficult for you to trust.

I know the lack of forceful ending to the affair makes it hard for you to trust.

So do something about it.

Spy on him. Confirm or eliminate your suspicions. Isn't that much better than living in fear? Your imagination is turning you into a prisoner and that in turn is threatening your chances of recovery.

I know how hard it is to accept a wayward spouses recommittment....trust me see a post a made only Monday:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=31;t=013005

But sooner or later you have to deal with your fears rather than simply fear your fears.

BTW I purchased new wedding bands and suprised her with them last night. Told her I needed to talk to her about something serious. Stepped outside on the deck. She nows the 20th is the one year mark. She has told her sister she fears I might want to leave before then so I can still use adultery in a divorce case. Says she doesn't think I will leave but the response she got from me has caused her to think I might leave anyway. So I acted like I was having to make a decision. I told her we can't go on like this. I expected her to start trying to talk me out of leaving. Then I told her there was something I had to do that I had put an end to all this uncertainty. Then I placed the new band on her finger and handed mine to place on my finger. I hadn't been wearing a band in quite awhile told I felt fake wearing it when I still had so many doubts. Funny thing is she said later she knew I wasn't mad because my face wasn't taunt.

Point is 3 you can conquer your fears by facing them or they can conquer you by imprisoning you.

So even if your worst fears come true and there is renewed contact will this at least free you to deal with reality instead keeping you chained to your imagination?

Miss M , hi , and I am sensing alittle tone on you LOL I know I am such the thick headed Italian LOL One day oh one day I may get . I hope <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

FEAR and IMAGINATION ok I really am in this world , yes I want to know and NO I don't want to know .

I try so hard to rasinalize (spell check LOL ) in my mind to spy or not to spy . And finding out . do I really want to know .. WOW I say yes and my fear is saying NO way not now ,, not the holidays , not again . This would be the first holiday clear of N/C no interuptions for 2 years .

How I deserve that and my kids , BUT then I think if it is fact how good is that .

I was thinking just PLAN A for now till then ,,,, But is that a form of denial ????

I don't want to be stupid , I don't want to look stupid .

I can't begin to tell you all how very confused I am I can't even explian it .

Knowing that if there is contact my Marriage is over !

JUST thinking about facing that reality kills me. I guess I am tired I want the proff to come to me .

Everything in me is saying don't be stupid enough to TRUST . But the other part says are ya ready for it are you ready for the pain this will cause ME and my KIDS all over again .

I am so confused I am starting to belive in that saying "WHAT YA DON"T KNOW CAN"T HURT YOU "


The other part is that my supisions drive him away .
Everything is good , why can't I hold on to that .
I can't handle knowing that while he is holding me every night and rubbing my back that he was doing it to cover his A$$ from being obvious to through me off track and not cause it was love for me .

This is my mental battle , I guess I have to help myself . The answer I am sure is in me some where in me .

That driving force that made me uncover the trueth just isn't there yet . My heart races so fast, and I get dizzy even going near my car to drive over there , just thinking that I could put my fears to rest or worse uncover my nightmare that I freeze . I drop to my knees and cry I can't move .

I'm trying so hard to go there , and there is somehting telling me not to I am not ready but the HE!! of my imagination is keeping me hostage as well .

Thanks all I got go , I just can't think any more .

3:

It sounds like to me that you are in agony now.

Do you want to continue to live with such anxiety.

Knowledge gives me a sense of power and control even when the rest of my world is falling apart.

Remember that your marriage does stand a great chance of making it if you absolutely get rid of her.

It's important not to enable the A. That will make it last longer. 3, I learned the hard way just like you.

Take Care.

3:

It sounds like to me that you are in agony now.

Do you want to continue to live with such anxiety.

Knowledge gives me a sense of power and control even when the rest of my world is falling apart.

Remember that your marriage does stand a great chance of making it if you absolutely get rid of her.

It's important not to enable the A. That will make it last longer. 3, I learned the hard way just like you.

Take Care.

3, have a little faith! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> If you can't muster a little faith, then by all means make an unannounced visit.

Even ole trusting me has been thinking about a surprise visit at various times on a workday to the marina...just to keep H on his toes and to see if what I've been hoping for has happened ( boat sunk <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> or OW evicted due to moral indiscretions) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . I'm having trust problems too,(I hope it's just the time of year) and I think showing up unannounced is perfectly acceptable. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> If he ain't doing nothing wrong then who's he to complain? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyways, I understand about not wanting to be fooled again. We've got a long way to go in recovery 3. Let's try not to go backward.

And, yes --Miss M is laying the AT-TI-TUDE on ya! Yea! for Miss M. HI! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

3,

I know there is only a snowball's chance in H E double L's chance of you answering anytyhing on the weekend, but I'm bumping ^ any ol' way!!

What's up girl. Have you stopped LBing yet? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M