</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> or when your spouse is also friends with that person.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I even have to dispute this one. My A was with a 10 year friend of my H's. It wasn't a super close friendship, but good enough that H wanted him to rent an apartment on our property. I think this is the most dangerous situation, because unlike a work relationship, the only time you see the OP is in a social setting, and they usually know the in's and out's of your personal life anyway - it is so easy to take advantage of that situation, esp. if - say the OM (friend) doesn't like the way the H treats the W. Huge breeding grounds for an A!! In this situation, you probably have to follow rules such as W and OM should NEVER be alone without H, and should not call or email each other. That was the trap I fell into.

Felina

KS41,

Not everyone be able to compartmentalize their R, i.e put a proper boundry & guard. Also for W that has conversations & affections as their top 2 I think they should avoid "male freind".

Yes, some needs are not exclusively's SO and SO might not be able to fill it. Does it mean that we could look outside M ?. It is a dangerous ground. I am a beleiver that ENs are exclusively SO if you want a very fullfiling M. SO better learn and be trained how to fillin that ENs.

When I was busy, I hire a housemaid to help my WW to fillin domestic support. Looking back, I should not let that opportunity to fillin her EN go.

Just a provoking thought ... What if that EN is SF ? ... could he/she look outside ? If couple has a point of view that SF is not exclusive, i.e. open M ... could they have fullfiling M ?.

-rh-

one person posted the question, "could you be a friend and not meet any of his/her ENs?" interesting but for me a friend is a person who helps to meet my ENs.

can a man and woman just be friends...i believe that they can and i believe so with no reservation...but it takes mature, bright individuales to do so.

the key for me is not found in just the relationship enjoyed by the two friends but in the commmunication that exists with the H or W's of the two friends and the relationships they enjoy.

folks it's obvious that we're in a real grey area here but to me, it's equally obvious that this is an issue that is sooooo up to the individuales involved that it's impossible to make a blanket decleration one way or another.

coach

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat:
<strong>Just a provoking thought ... What if that EN is SF ? ... could he/she look outside ? If couple has a point of view that SF is not exclusive, i.e. open M ... could they have fullfiling M ?.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I run with a pretty alternative crowd (H and I are considered the token "normals"). So in my experience, yes, a couple can have a polyamorous relationship which meets the terms of their vows, and still have a very fulfilling marriage.

It's so much hard work, so difficult to maintain, and requires such extremely open and honest communication - I'm not sure how they do it! And for the record, I've seen more couples fail at it, than I've seen succeed. But it can work.

K

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KS41:
<strong>So in my experience, yes, a couple can have a polyamorous relationship which meets the terms of their vows, and still have a very fulfilling marriage.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not sure about fulfilling M to SO, it might just be fulfilling M w/ SO. Even w/ SO I would still doubt it. It is too risky when you open up your ENs to someone other than SO. It is not worth risking your M

-rh-

<small>[ December 15, 2003, 12:30 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

You can also drive your vehicle after having a few drinks without having an accident or being arrested by a patrol officer for DUI, but WHY RISK IT?