Hi BH,<P>Glad to hear you received your books. Just wanted to let you know. H & I had our phone session with Steve and I liked it (H didn't but that was back in Jan)..<P>Anyway, we are on the west coast also and had a 6:30am appointment with Steve (that's 4:30am PST). Why not? I wasn't sleeping anyway. LOL!!! <P>Hope you can set one up for you soon!!! <P>L. <BR>

OK, I am back. How do I start a new thread??<BR>The fog rolled in, as many of you have may suspected by my absence. Tonight I began reading SAA and boy, does it really make some sense. <BR>Another moment of clarity here, and I could use some help from my freinds here...<P>Some help Jo?<p>[This message has been edited by Bad Hubby (edited September 16, 2001).]

Hi BH:<P>Yes, we understand the fog rolling in and out...and it's hard...but I'm so glad you're back...because that says to me that even if you've fallen off the tract you are sincere in the long run and want to get your life straighten out.<BR>I can understand how hard it must be for you to come back here and confess that even with the best of intentions you have failed. I was not surprised...my WH has done it many times...but I feel he is sincere in wanting to end his relationship with OW...he is just too vunerable to her and to his need...in his terms "he is just too weak"...I don't see it quite in those terms but do agree that it is difficult for him...regardless of its effect on me...and I am in complete knowledge of the situation.<P>I don't know what you are asking about starting a new thread...you obviously know the process...but don't be afraid to update your progress for us...because we really do understand and are here to help....and no one will condemn you. <P>Welcome back into the air of clarity...we're here... <P><BR>Faye<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bad Hubby:<BR><B>louser, no, I don't think I am your hubby. I responded to another of your posts earlier. I think I heve answered your questions in that thread. Hope it helps.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>BH,<P>Did you hear anything Louser said? I really don't think you are hearing anything replied to your posts. You did not answer the questions? <P>Give you more of my opinion after I read on some more.....<P> Clouds<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bad Hubby:<BR><B> I just ordered it, along with a couple others. <P>Judging by the covers, they should be excellent future OW deterrents while sitting on my coffee table in my apartment. <P>If you are surviving an affair, the OW should not be in your apartment to see anything on your coffee table. NO CONTACT, means zero, zilch, NADA. Not even through computer. You want the M or don't you? You owe it to your W to decide what she wants to do. Sounds to me that you don't respect her feelings let alone trust them or maybe you are still on your selfish trip?<P>Reading on.....<BR>Clouds<P>[This message has been edited by Bad Hubby (edited September 06, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Whoa, is that what is meant by "Being Flamed"?<P>

Yes BH, I guess that is was you might call being flamed. As a WS still in the midst of your A, some of that is to be expected here with so many still deeply in fresh pain.<P>Ignore what is not helpful. There are many of us here over the initial pain, and others of us, like myself, recovered and doing well, who want to help you.<P>Did you see the "new" post Jo started for you? How are you doing and how may we help?

Understood mthrrhbard. I am feeling so very screwed up right now, but knowing that I have friends here, those whom I feel guilt in disappointing, helps me at times like this. Althougt I know that most of the people here are non-judgemental, I still feel this way. <P>I will look for the new post to which you referred. <BR>Thanks...<BR>BH

BH...<P>For what it's worth, here is my contribution, as a former fellow WS...just so you will know you are not misunderstood and someone else has been there!!<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010715.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010715.html</A> <P>Enjoy reading and know that we are all here to help!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bad Hubby:<BR><B>I've read a lot here, but one thing I'd like to know from WS's and BS's is how long did the A last? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>My PA was short-lived, but I have a grown child who was a product of that affair. Come clean. Take the risk of losing your wife in order to win her back. There's no easy way out of this dilemma. You cannot change what you are unwilling to confront.<P>Harley speaks about incurable attractions to the opposite sex. <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>"Whenever I counsel someone who seems incurably attracted to the opposite sex, I give them the following rules to avoid temptation: 1) Spend all your recreational time either alone or with your spouse, 2) no meals alone with someone of the opposite sex, 3) no rides in cars alone with those of the opposite sex, 4) never tell someone of the opposite sex thay you find them attractive or that you like them and 5) if someone of the opposite sex ever tells you that they find you attractive, start talking about how much you love your spouse.."<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Read more: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5024b_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>Escaping the Jaws of Infidelity Letter #2</A><P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bad Hubby:<BR><B>Does anybody think there's a correlation between the duration of the A and the recovery period?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hmmmm.... Can't readily find a link about this. But actually, you could probably find some useful testimonies on the Recovery Board... IMHO, I think everyone has different tolerance levels and pain threshholds. A MBer once said that "infidelity never goes away--it's just a thought away." Soooo, based on that assessment, recovery is a life-long process of dealing with the thoughts as they come and go...

I'm bumping this up so that, if you haven't already, you can have Bad Hubby's story so far.

As I read back thru my earlier posts, I am almost embarassed. What a fool I have sounded like at times.<P>Now I've read a couple of Harley's books, fallen off the wagon, gotten back on, and facging a 90% chance of D-Day in a few hours, and do I feel like one huge piece of s**t.<P>OW has left me completely alone this weekend. I let our usual Saturday together just quietly slip by without a call or email. She, like W knows something's up. I haven't contacted her since Friday.<P>Everybody's telling me to come clean with W, not to wait another minute and I am real scared.<P>

Bad Hubby<BR>It's in the hard times that we get to know who we really are, what we're made of, what our character really is.<BR>The fact that you can see your own growth is proof that you have started a journey in which you can not turn back. <BR>Step up to the plate. You've got what it takes.<BR>Bad Hubby, my money's on you!!!!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>Marry