I so love your posts, Indie. Your writing always puts a smile on my face

I know many women who have gone the peace treaty route, and spent practically nothing on lawyer fees. But then ended up sleeping on a friends couch while paying spousal support to a deadbeat husband or going 15 years without a cent of child support. I would much rather spend the money now and secure myself for the next 18 years then end up like that.

A forever wayward, ugh, the thought of that makes me shudder. I'm glad to hear that all your contempt filings did eventually have an effect on his behavior.

Thanks for your encouragement! I know I will make it through this. As the months tick by things get better and better, and so many things have turned out way better then I expected them too. WH is paying me money, when I was afraid I would have to be paying him. I still have the kids 95% of the time, and I have the house. My goal is to run a half marathon this year so I'm running 3x a week and my yard which was so dead when I kicked WH out that I got a notice from the city about it, is now lush and green thanks to all my yard work. I've taken up gardening, planted trees, berry bushes, and a vegetable garden. Ive also made a lot of new friends. I think I've got the self care aspect of Plan B well covered

Eventually, I would like to hear more from you about parallel parenting and what advice you have about relationships moving forward. I see alot of posts on here from BS who remarry quickly but then have big problems. Right now, I think I would really be ok never marrying again, but I feel sad that my kids won't be able to see an example of a healthy relationship. I would like them to have that.

Yes. This is how you'll predict him.

Every time I see a BS portrayed as vengeful and bitter in movies and TV, I know that a wayward was writing the script.


Thank you!

Yep, you got it. The cheapest way to pay is with money.

What does it mean when a wayward suddenly starts playing nice? I'm kind of scared. My son has been sick since Saturday, both Monday and Tuesday WH sent messages offering to take care of him. I sent no response. He does not get to pick and choose when he wants to act like a father. He has also emailed my lawyer saying he intends to provide him with all the employment information we have been requesting from his employer and is working on getting us all the other information we requested. He also transferred his mid month child support without having to be harassed - that is a first. Oh, and i know I shouldn't know this, but one of my friends said WH responded randomly yesterday to a comment she posted on his facebook 8 months ago. A friend of mine that he knows through me, who he had defriended in January.

Something does not feel right about this. I'm bracing myself to be hit with a bombshell.

Did the offers come through your IM? Simply tell her you want a clockwork schedule for the sake of routine and not to notify you of nice guy attempts. She should be replying on those lines while you remain blissfully ignorant.

Hopefully you told your friend not to let you know anything else "I'm pretending he's not alive. Much happier that way. So disconcerting to hear about him. Thanks for understanding!"

And yes, move on legal stuff while the going is good but be braced for wind direction change.

Yes. I know I should not know about any of these happenings. Its reallly hard though when it comes to the sick kids. With what I do there are times when I really cannot miss work; I can't just not show up one day in the middle of a murder trial thats been 4 years in the making and there are time limitations where if I dont put on a hearing within a certain timeframe the entire case gets dismissed. So far I have been able to scramble last minute and find someone to stay with them, because my philosophy is to live my life like he does not exist. Super stressful though, so ya i shouldn't even hear of that dangling carrot that could make my life easier.

How did you find out all this stuff? How did he know your son was sick?

He had my son on Sunday and sent a message to my IM telling the details of DS being sick. On Tuesday the daycare called and said he was still sick, but that is WH day to pick them up so I told the daycare to call him instead.

I would come up with a more long term plan for this stuff. Is this the kind of job where you can afford help?

My kids go to full time daycare, but when they are sick they cant go there. Beyond that when they are sick its just going down my list of babysitters to see who can do it. Its just hard because its during the day, and of course bound to be last minute. Dont know what else I can do...

This post qualifies for notable posts as far as I'm concerned!

Ok I just have to vent. I try not to discuss anything regarding WH with family or friends, so this is the only space for it.

WH did not provide anything he told my lawyer he was going to, and has not responded to their further attempts to get the information. Seriously. What was the point of even acting like you were going to give the info? That little gesture is really going to hurt him though. He admitted in writing to my lawyer that he has an employment agreement with his employer. Now they cannot deny its existence and it looks really bad that we have been requesting it since January and still have not received it. I'm still angry though, even though its good for me. I just hate the pointless games!

It was WH's birthday yesterday. I handled it better then I thought I would. No tears or sadness. He had the kids as usual on Sundays. My daughter came home and announced she had cake, brought by daddy's "friend." She said she didnt come into the house, she just saw her in her car. This of course infuriates me. But what can I do? I can't really threaten with even less time with the kids, if I were to I think it would backfire because a court would surely give him more time if he asked for it. I told DD to tell daddy she doesnt want to see his girlfriend. DD also said "daddy was crying" and "daddy threw up in the potty." Happy birthday you POS, you deserve to have your head in the toilet on your birthday.

Click here and see how another BW coped, I hope you feel a little better after:
schmoopies

hahaha this was awesome! Thanks goody2shoes! I cant' wait to watch all of them How did they get a script of my WH and OW to use for their characters??

Wow, these are funny!

These are classic.

It is indeed hard to stomach it, so much wasted money. I think indiegirl said to think of it as luxury-level protection from your attorney. It's expensive, but it's worth it in the end!


Yes, and WW still keeps trying to find ways to see the dog. She heard that I'll be taking my kids to a long weekend in Canada and has twice emailed me to offer to watch the dog for me. "I'd hate to see her in a kennel if she doesn't have to be." I ignored her first email, and when she asked the second time, I replied that the dog would be fine at the kennel. She has a house now, she can buy her own dog, sheesh.

I think the affair is finally over. WH ended it. My parents were visiting for Easter so my Mom did the exchange last night and WH asked to speak to her and my Dad. He apologized to them and spoke of his regret, said he was willing to do whatever it takes. They believe he is sincere. I would never have expected him to do this, he has always run from things, I thought he would never have the guts to face them. I met him later and do believe he is sincere. Here is the plan:

1) He has to sign a post nuptial agreement that gives me the house and I keep my pension in the event of divorce. My lawyer is working on it now.
2) We deleted his social media this morning, he gave me passwords to all accounts
3) I have his phone right now, we are meeting at lunch to change his phone number and get a new phone for him - he is agreeable to a flip phone for the time being, but Im wondering if I should do an iphone that is has alot of restrictions or that I can monitor? I would like to be able to track him and that is the easiest way, I can't do that with a flip phone. Let me know what you guys suggest about this.
4) We plan to leave Friday to go to his parents in Seattle. I know we have to get away from any temptation for him and we need the time together.
5) I want to do the lie detector- I really do not need details of the affair, i feel I know everything. But I do want to get the whole history of any others. He says she is his only PA, though he has the chatting problem. Please let me know what other things you think are important to ask in this

He will continue at the job he has been at since November for now. It is 2 hours from OW, 30 mins from were we live.

I can't think of anything else. I want to plug every avenue. Please let me know what else we should do in as much detail as possible.

Just looked into Webwatcher, which Brainhurts recommended to another poster. I think I'm going to do that .Anyone have any experience with it?

Do I tell WH that is on his phone, I'm guessing not?

Wow ok! Well he did use the magic password.