One of my husband's emotional needs is sexual intimacy. Usually this isn't a problem, however, we run into issues when I'm pregnant. I'm currently in my (early) second trimester and this is my second time pregnant. I'm just not in the mood for sex or even kissing. The smell of his semen makes me nauseous. This only happens when I'm pregnant. Last pregnancy it abated somewhat during later second trimester and during the third trimester my sex drive ramped up. However, I hate making him wait that long and want to meet this top emotional need (and I haven't made him wait, but it isn't enjoyable for me). I would love some advice from any woman who've experienced this! Thank you ahead of time.

Hello Eliana, welcome to Marriage Builders. Are you familiar with the Marriage Builders concepts? If not, I would read through the Basic Concepts. We teach people how to use the concepts so they can find solutions to their problems. Pay close attention to the Policy of Joint Agreement, which is never do anything without the enthusiastic agreement of your spouse. This applies when it comes to meeting each others needs. They should always be met in a manner that makes you both happy. So when you discuss sexual intimacy, keep that principle in mind.

Start here: A SUMMARY OF DR. HARLEY'S BASIC CONCEPTS

Thanks. I am familiar with them. We've read His Needs, Her Needs and are currently working on His Needs, Her Needs For Parents . I do get what you're saying about POJA. I'm generally willing to have sex, and am learning to communicate when I don't just don't want to do so, but I didn't know if there were any women on here who had went through something similar (or had a wife go through something similar). My sex drive just takes a dive during the first trimester, comes back up the second, but then by the third trimester, it's pretty uncomfortable, at least using the positions we've tried. I didn't know if anyone had any tips on what to do when sex drive is low or how to even make sex more pleasurable during pregnancy. We're even looking for tips on other things to fulfill his need of sexual intimacy.
I'm posting this here because of the pregnancy app that I use, the majority of advice to something like this is, "Well, I just don't have sex." That answer can satisfy me some of the time, but then my husband is left frustrated.
I hope I explained this well. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I appreciate it!

Have you and your husband tried to negotiate this yet? Have you read How to Negotiate When No One Wants to Raise the Issue?

What to do is to negotiate this with your husband. Surely the two of you can work out ways to fulfil his emotional need that do not involve you doing things when you feel unwell, or that make you physically uncomfortable.

Thank you. We are in the negotiating phase. I think I could use ideas, however. I know there are people who have been where I am and have more experience. I'm looking up ideas on sex during pregnancy, but there's more general ideas. (Although I did find one site that suggested positions in the third trimester to try.) In short, I would love to know more ways to "get in the mood" or just general tips during pregnancy. It's such a different time than any other in life so I'm definitely open to advice in this.

The loss or diminishing of libido can occur throughout the marriage, usually due to fluctuating hormone levels throughout life, not to mention the state of the marriage itself. Dr. Harley recommends that during a date, a couple who is not necessarily in the mood still give it a shot. If you need ideas on positions, I recommend taking a look at some of the many very good books on pregnancy. It helps to keep a sense of humor. Keep working on this with your husband to find a way that will work for both of you.

You are probably not going to get explicit ideas on positions on this forum, as that is not really the purpose of this forum. Dr. Harley would advise your husband to make sure he is meeting your emotional needs and that you also meet his, in a way that works for both of you. This would include dates throughout the week, just the two of you.

Longwayfrom home,

That makes sense about the explicit ideas. I appreciate the tips on keeping the sense of humor. And honestly, it's good to know that it's okay to still have sex, or at least try, even if both of us or one of us isn't in the mood. That permission helps, ya know? Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to answer!

Yes that’s what I was going to say too, 4 hour dates outside of the house 4 times a week. Though arranging childcare will be impossible until lockdown is over. Maybe if you know another family who follows quarantine the way you do you can swap childcare with each other.