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Joined: Jan 2021
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I don't know where else to post this or if this topic is even appropriate for this site, but here goes...

What is person supposed to do when they are no longer "turned on" or aroused by their partner? There are several factors relating to this, but the bottom line is, I am not sexually attracted to my wife and we stopped having sex well over ten years ago.

I'm going to stop there for now, and ask - do I continue, should I be referred elsewhere in this site, or somewhere else completely?
I am still going over the Basic Concepts of this site and I intend to keep going in my main post "Hello, I am new", but I thought I would just put this question out there.


My intention for 2021 is to have no raised expectations,
because raised expectations are consistently crushed and lead to nothing but disappointment.
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Pornography and masturbation do a great deal of harm to a marriage. They alone could be responsible for your lack of interest in sex with your wife.

This article gives you the complete answer to your problem. Please read it.


BW
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His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Pornography and masturbation do a great deal of harm to a marriage. They alone could be responsible for your lack of interest in sex with your wife.

This article gives you the complete answer to your problem. Please read it.

I know that P & M have had a great deal to do with my loss of interest, although resentments and disappointments have also taken a major toll in our relationship. It's such a mess at this point.


My intention for 2021 is to have no raised expectations,
because raised expectations are consistently crushed and lead to nothing but disappointment.
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The libido aspect will be dealt with by following the advice in that article and giving up pornography and masturbation. The other emotional feelings will be dealt with by focusing on eliminating love busters (of which I would guess pornography and masturbation are significant to your wife) and discovering each other's emotional needs, and learning how to meet them.



BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Hello. According to my observations, sex disappears from a relationship when two partners perceive each other as essentially brother and sister. You have been sharing life together for a very long time, going through difficulties, raising children, and all this has overshadowed the fact that you can also be together in bed. A good option may be that you miss each other. You can also come up with something in bed that will be your biggest secret that will excite you. It helped my husband and me at the time. Good luck!


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