Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8
G
GraceA Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
G
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8
Good morning everybody,
I am subscribed to the MBRadio archives and am looking for an episode that discusses the electric fence personality. I used the search function in the archives, but came up blank. I used the forum search as well, but apparently it gives you all the responses that have ANY of the key words, so that was fruitless, as well. Does anybody remember hearing an episode, where the electric fence personality was discussed in detail? And if so, can you help me to find it? Or perhaps there are better ways to use the search function? Thanks in advance!

Last edited by GraceA; 02/06/24 02:53 AM.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
Hi Grace,

I can remember hearing Dr Harley on the radio saying something about his article on the "electric fence personality" being "about as psychological" as he gets. I heard this years ago. I believe he was talking in the context of his not approving of popular psychology approaches such as labelling personalities, or focusing on childhood events as explanations for current problems. I think he was talking about his insistence on using the behavioural approach, in which he focuses on current problems and taking steps with every interaction to eliminate them.

I can't remember when that episode would have been, but even if I could, it wasn't actually about EFP, but about why he doesn't really use such diagnoses. EFP was barely mentioned, so it might not turn up in a search. I must say that when I first came here and read through all the articles, that one stood out as odd - as different from the focus of all the others. It doesn't really fit with the majority of his approach.

Other people might respond to you with a specific episode, but I would nonetheless recommend writing to Dr Harley at the radio station and asking him directly whether he ever covered EFP in an episode. As well as answering that question, he would probably offer to help you with whatever issue is behind the question - for free, either on or off air.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
I did find the article where Dr. Harley talks about "the electric fence personality". Have you read that?

Recovering Sexual Desire

I will also search the radio archives.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
I did find a few radio episodes where they talk about it.

Air date June 4, 2018 Program 1920 segment 11165

Air date December 8, 2017 program 1848 segment 10668

Air date July 28, 2017 program 1794 segment 10290

I think there might even be a thread where it was discussed here on the forum, but I'm not 100% on that.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8
G
GraceA Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
G
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 8
Wow, you guys are great! ...and fast!
I have read the article.
How did you find those radio episodes? I will look into those.
Thank you all very much!

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
I did find a few radio episodes where they talk about it.

Air date June 4, 2018 Program 1920 segment 11165

Air date December 8, 2017 program 1848 segment 10668

Air date July 28, 2017 program 1794 segment 10290

I think there might even be a thread where it was discussed here on the forum, but I'm not 100% on that.
Brainy, what search terms did you use to find those episodes? Did you need to use "..." so that the individual words did not pop up all the time?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
I did find a few radio episodes where they talk about it.

Air date June 4, 2018 Program 1920 segment 11165

Air date December 8, 2017 program 1848 segment 10668

Air date July 28, 2017 program 1794 segment 10290

I think there might even be a thread where it was discussed here on the forum, but I'm not 100% on that.
Brainy, what search terms did you use to find those episodes? Did you need to use "..." so that the individual words did not pop up all the time?
In the radio archive I just searched "electric". If you put in fence it has too many hits and so if you do the least, but it's an odd word you usually can find things.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 560
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 560
I believe Dr. Harley has written about the electric fence personality in his book, Buyers, Renters, & Freeloaders. I can't confirm because I loaned my copy to one of my daughters, but I'm pretty sure he wrote about it there.


BH (me) 50, WxW 47
Married 1994
D-day, plan A, & exposure Jan 2017
Divorced Nov 2017
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
On the February 12, 2024 show he talks about the electric fence personality. He answered your question.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,473
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by abrrba
I believe Dr. Harley has written about the electric fence personality in his book, Buyers, Renters, & Freeloaders. I can't confirm because I loaned my copy to one of my daughters, but I'm pretty sure he wrote about it there.
Dr. Harley confirms that he wrote about it in Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Oct 2024
Posts: 8
P
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
P
Joined: Oct 2024
Posts: 8
interesting


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (Dynamiq), 220 guests, and 21 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Media Pract, amandawilli, Rachael Tilda, Aidenjohansoon, Dynamiq
71,907 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 11/30/24 12:55 AM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Really Struggling
by BrainHurts - 11/15/24 03:48 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,618
Posts2,323,471
Members71,908
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5