I was the betrayed wife a long time ago. We went on to divorce and later I met another man and we are happy.

My question now concerns a colleague of mine. I suspect that his wife has an affair but I am not sure.

My colleague has been married around 20 years and they have three children, age 23, 19 and 15. Around half a year ago his wife started saying that she was not happy and two months ago she moved out. She has taken their two younger children with her. The oldest had already moved to her own place. His wife does not want the children to live with him. He is in a state of crisis and depression and his wife has told their children that their father is not mentally fit to live with them. She has also taken the family’s dog and their car. It is their only car and belongs to my colleague. Her reason for taking the car is that my colleague takes sleeping pills (due to his reaction from the sudden events) and he should not drive.

My colleague has asked his children if they want to live with him part-time but their answer is that they don’t think he is well and they don’t want to live with him. In my opinion, he is of course sad and shaken but I don’t see that he could be unfit to be with his children, especially since the youngest is 15. My colleague thinks that their mother is influencing them.

My colleague has not mentioned any affair but to me the whole story reeks of an affair. That is especially since my colleague has told me that his wife has recently developed a new interest and joined a social club where she has made a lot of new friends.

I don’t think my colleague is interested in working to get his wife back since he really did nothing wrong. He wants a good relation with his children and he wants a good life with friends and support around him. He does not have a lot of friends since he has spent all time with his family so he talks to his colleagues at work. I have told him to speak directly with his children and ask them if they think he us unfit to be around them. I have also told him to put an end to the absurd car situation - it is his car. I have not talked about the possibility that his wife has an affair. I don’t know if that makes any difference at this point, he is not interested in having her back.

The complication is his mental health. He takes sleeping pills and antidepressants and has quite a lot of anxiety at times. The children have been told that he is unfit as a parent because of that. Also, his wife keeps the car because of his medicines. I think that he is too kind and his wife takes advantage of that.

Welcome to MB. Can you guide your colleague here to post his story?

Is he seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist? Does he have a therapist? Can he invite them for some family counseling since it seems his kids won’t talk to him? Where is his family staying? Who is paying for this new living area?

He needs to see a lawyer to protect himself.