Over the past few months, my wife and I have noticed a big disconnect. This started happening around the springtime of this year. Over the last few days, we have acknowledged this disconnect, and it feels like the elephant has finally been recognized in the room. In our open and honest conversation, we admitted that we love each other and that divorce is never on the table (praise God!). We have two children and have both decided from the beginning of having children that we, as a couple, come first, and I genuinely believe that we have done that in some ways.

We go on weekly date nights, and the children spend the night at their grandfather's house. Now, I will admit I need to do a better job of not making those dates feel routine and making them feel more special. I take full responsibility for that. During our conversation, we both admitted that we don't think about each other throughout the day like we used to and don't text or call throughout the day. When we do, it feels forced and like something we are supposed to be doing. We've gone on little getaways together, hoping to get that spark going again, but there's nothing.

I am so thankful that we both want to fix this and acknowledge we have some work to do, but we don't know where to start. We both want the spark back, not to quit. If anyone has some advice, I am open to anything. We want this to work!

What do you do on your dates? Do you make sure you are meeting the 4 most intimate needs? Are you getting at least 15 hours of undivided attention?

Please read The Critical Importance of Undivided Attention

ColsDawg,
There is a lot of good information on this website to help marriages improve, but you have to do the work. If both of you are willing, you can fall in love again and have a close relationship.

You haven't been back since BrainHurts posted to you. Have you read what she suggested?
Are you still wanting help?