I have five guidlines, with regard to opposite sex friendships, that I use to protect my marriage.<P>1.) I am never intentionally alone with a member of the opposite sex.<P>2.) If I find myself alone with a member of the opposite sex I remove myself from the situation as quickly as possible.<P>3.) I do not seek or encourage relationships with members of the opposite sex. This does not mean that I'm unfriendly. I just keep it light.<P>4.) I never talk a bout my spouse (excpet in glowing terms) with a member of the opposite sex. <P>5.) If I MUST meet alone with a member of the opposite sex for business purposes, we drive seperately, meet in a public place, I inform my spouse of the appointment before it takes place and I phone my spouse immediately after the meeting is over.<P>Do I do these things because my spouse asked me to? No! I do them because I recognize the dangers of opposite sex relationships and I value my marriage above anything thing this type of relationship could possibly offer me.<P>The theme on this thread has been that it should be ok but it is risky. Just because I think I can run across a six lane highway at rush hour doesn't mean I need to prove it. I would be risking something I value very highly for what? To prove a point? <P>Every relationship has its costs in emotional energy. Any emotional energy spent on this type of relationship short changes what you have left for your marriage relationship.<P>Some who have commented on this thread sound very self assured. They are confident that they can control the dangers that are intrinsic to this type of relationship. An old adage comes to mind here...."Pride goeth before a fall."<P>I came to realize a long time ago that there is no sin I am not capable, of given the right set of circumstances. <P>To ignore all the emotional devastation that these kinds of relationships have caused is either pure arrogance or folly.<P>Tread lightly!! <P>

Hey Karamagrrl and all others,<P>I'm not going to blast you or anyone else because you offer your opinion to my circumstances. I believe that is the reason for this forum. That is why I post here. I welcome other views. I might still have a little tunnel vision going on and need someone to bop me on the head.<P>Maybe I'm just stuck on stupid or dumb as dirt, but, I have taken a look at my friendships with members of the opposite sex and don't find it a prerequisite to be attracted to them. This is not to say I have ugly friends. I have been in the ambulance field for 21 years now and made some really great friendships with girls/women. <P>One incident out of a couple hundred friends. I will say that I did get dangerously close to sleeping with my partner years ago, but, thank God, cooler heads prevailed. You spend 12 hours a day in a truck with another, fighting life and death, how could you not get close. That's another topic, in EMS the divorce rate is significantly higher because of the stress and the emotional bonding that goes on. We both knew what the score was. I just chatted with her last night and we still can tell each other everything and anything. Recalling the incident we just laugh and are thankful that nothing happened. Once again she is blonde and tall and VERY attractive. [I can't seem to get away from that!]<P>I don't know if I'm helping or hurting my case here. Just the way I feel. Won't be sporting wood for a long time. <P>Just saying that I can have a female friend and not want to screw her.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic