hurt to the core,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Some of you will make it and some of you won't make it. But whether you do or not depends more on chance than how hard to work to make it work.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Horse poopy! I agree some will make it and some won't. There is no 'chance' or 'luck'. We are who we are and where we are in life from the collective experiences we have been through in our life. No chance or luck involved. Marriages don't get better on their own. Yes, God can heal them, but He isn't going to with you doing nothing.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I do not know you poeple, and you do not know me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, we are getting to know you. And so far, I think your pain is fresh and you are harboring resentment. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I plan not to write here again. Let me tell you why. I am not angry like some of you think. I am relistic. Sometimes too relistic.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You can't be too realistic. And by facing the facts, we ALL grow and learn. I think you are implying that we aren't realistic - I beg to differ. When the pain is fresh and the hurt is intense, we sometimes can't see the facts or understand them. Over time, we do. It's unfortunate that you aren't going to post anymore, I think we could collectivly help you and in return you could help us. Everyone has something to offer.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Try not to blindly bleive in total trust.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I don't think anyone here has blind trust any more.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I wish everyone a happy marraige that can get better.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Thank you! I'm working towards recovery and the same type of intimacy that WhoDat mentioned above. I hope to be one that has a better marriage than I had before this happened. I'm learning everyday.<P>SHA

It doesn't depend on chance, it depends on the couple.<P>One of the two can't make it work, it has to be a joint effort, or it definitely won't. Now one can work to make the other want to work, and thus the two can make it work.<P>Does that WORK.<P>I'm in a prophetic mood, or is that pathetic?

hurt to the core,<P>Yes, some of us will make it and some of us won't. Why are we here? I thin we are here for several reasons:<P>1) first and foremost, the people on here BELIEVE in marriage<P>2) we are looking for emotional and moral support through the most TRAUMATIC EMOTIONAL events any of us have ever experienced. Everyone here has had their hopes, dreams and REALITY shattered by infidelity.<P>3) we are looking for guidance and encourgaement from others who may be further along the road than I & others am at this time<P>4) the REALITY of all this is: if we can't figure out what went wrong in our current marriage, and if we can't figure out what role we played in things going wrong, then how can any of us expect to be successful in another relationship???????<P>I, too, have wondered if it wouldn't be "easier" to give up on this and move on. I may yet do that. But, I also know that NO relationship is perfect and NO relationship is immune from infidelity. Suppose I go on and meet someone new and things are going great for a few years and then BAM! he cheats on me???<P>To me, it is preferable to rebuild with the man I already kinow and love. I love my H DESPITE the infidelity. I still choose to have a relationship with him - WARTS and ALL! Of course, my marriage may well end because at this point he doesn't want a relationship with me. <P>Only you, just like the rest of us, know when YOU are ready to move on and give up. No one will criticize you for that. Our role here is for SUPPORT. Likewise, we seek support from you. <P>Everyone will not agree with everyone on this forum. But, I hope you will reconsider quitting this forum. Even if you do not agree with what others here write, that is OK. ALL of us can learn something from another person's point of view - including yours.<P>Wishing you a better day...<P>Roll Me Away <BR>