I got big news on Tuesday. We have a daughter (who is 4). Her Dad and I have an on-again off-again type relationship. Over the last 6 months, I have felt close to him and believed that MAYBE their was a future for us. We were close, then he would push me away (we live in separate households). <P>I found out Tues that he has a son who was born Oct 12. Part of me feels sad, betrayed (because during the last 2 years we were on/off), I feel sorry for our daughter. The other part of me wants to love him, comfort him, help him with the child. Believe it or not, I am not angry at him. He feels badly enough for what he has done to us. <P>He has not said "I love you, I want us to raise this child" or anything like that. Just that he's sorry and sorry that he let me down.<P>I don't know if I should stand in the background, let him figure out what he wants. Or if I should push that I will be there for them, when can "we" pick up his son. At the same time, he can't play "house" with two women.<P>He has some hugh decisions to make. He now has a son and he needs to decide where "he and I" are going.<P>What would yo do if you were in my shoes?<P>

Run. <P>Just my opinion.

Because you continue to welcome him back each time and are so kind and understanding, you have allowed him to be the worst kind of person. He is a lout. He will not change or make a decision until forced to and it likely won't be in your favor because that would require taking responsibility and acting like a man. You talk about raising his son by OW? Just what makes you think she would allow that? I agree with the previous post. Run. Set up boundaries and expectations and if he will not meet them you need to move on. Not only for your sake but for your own childs. Do you realize the destructive door mat behavior you have been modeling for you daughter. Read about plan B on this web site. I hope is not too late for that!<p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited November 18, 1999).]

Who is this man married to - you or someone else? <P>If it's someone else, I would get you and your daughter out of there and not see this man any longer - period. <P>If it's you, go to plan B. He is no longer playing house, he is play with people's lives. <P>SHA<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. <P><BR>

sir hurts alot is right. You need to worry about you and your child. <P>------------------<BR>That Which does not kill us makes us stronger.<P>