Please help me decide whether this is important or not. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. When we were legally married, he promised me that we would eventually marry in church. We decided to marry rather quickly due to his immigration situation and didn't make a big deal at the time because we did have our church wedding in mind. He moved here from another country to be with me. During these 2 years, he has become less and less interested in getting married through the church, yet this remains very important to me. He says that he feels it's all just a waste of money (the dress, the tuxedo, the bouquet, the reception..etc). I feel that we've missed out on something very special and very important...God's blessing. I know it's tradition and to some people this may not be important, but to me it is. I don't really care about the dress, the flowers, the party. etc. I care about being in God's house with the man I love and stating our vows in God's presence. I feel bad that our parents and families never had the chance to share in our "marriage experience" and he's often told me that this is all just a childish illusion. We are both very dedicated to going to church every Sunday and we each have our own personal relationship with God, but I still feel like we should fulfill this sacrament. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even have a big party, or follow all those "material traditions" that come with a wedding. I just want us to have that moment. Please tell me if I'm just being childish and unrealistic and feel free to share any suggestions with me about how I can talk to my husband about this. Thank you!<BR>

Maybe I'm being simplistic, but if you really don't want the dress and flowers and party and all that, why not have the religious ceremony without it? Invite only your nearest and dearest, wear a simple dress you already own, skip the reception and take your immediate family out to a nice dinner instead. Maybe what your H is really against is the fuss and expense of the secular traditions of a wedding day and not the actual religious ceremony.<P>One potential warning - to be on the safe side check with your church before you make any plans. Not all denominations will allow a church service for those already living together (some denominations allow exceptions for those who are legally married, so check first).<P>Good luck, and best wishes whatever you decide.<p>[This message has been edited by younglove (edited February 08, 2000).]