Hi. I don't know if some of you need to come here every day right now but I do. I am a writer and a wayward spouse. When I confessed, my h forgave me but of course, some things around the house had become offensive to him.<P>I had a beautiful crystal bowl given to us by dear friends in which I used to serve a special dessert to OM. My husband didn't care who it was from--he needed to smash it to bits because it bugged him.<P>It inspired me to write this: (*warning-I am a Christian!)<P> Once considered<BR> crystal clear<BR> I am a <BR> casualty<BR> crashing <BR> smashing<BR> breaking<BR> aching<BR>Shattered glass<BR> I've been an [censored]<BR>Regretful remnants<BR> of my sin<BR> pierce like shards<BR> and break my skin<BR>Blood gushing grief<BR> but then again..<BR>Crystal clean<BR> the River of Life flows<BR>A rescued victim<BR> A fool forgiven<BR>Sea of Forgetfulness<BR> washed in Jesus' Blood<BR>Restored, redeemed,<BR> reclaiming<BR> who I am<BR>and who He is making me.<P>I understand that yes, I will face consequences (I am suspended from my work right now due to the A) but I am trying to forgive myself. I almost wish I could go to jail or something but my h sets me free and God is healing me. Very slowly but most days get incrementally better.<P>Hope this helped someone visiting here.<P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

Freshstart......you certainly have a way with words. Your poetry is beautiful and paints the perfect picture of your emotions. Thank you for sharing!!<P>------------------<BR>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!

GeezLouise, I think I wrote this in March..can't see and forgot to check. Here it is the end of May and I am so much different.<P>I no longer want to be punished for my wrong choice..I wish I never made it mind you...but I am like a prisoner set free, with the past washed away.<P>Definitely I am facing consequences but they are bringing about healing. I am hoping to write a poem about Honesty over the weekend if possible. (I just started a new job this afternoon and have a busy weekend.) Hope you will like that one, too.<P>Thanks for touching base <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

<<I no longer want to be punished for my wrong choice..I wish I never made it mind you...but I am like a prisoner set free, with the past washed away.>><P>Good for you, Fresh Start. I see your posts on other forum within MB and feel positive energy from your various posts. Good for you and your family. Although you and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum of infidelity, we share pain which is much easier to deal with when all sides are considered and respected. Respect is an important factor that is missing in society. And respect is essential in appreciating each other regardless of color, religion or social status. This main ingredient of coexisting with each other has been severely downsized....<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!

What an awesome poem. I'm definately going to keep it. I am the wayward spouse, but haven't been forgiven. It's been seven months and there are still "crashings" and comments and lots of turmoil. I no longer want to be tortured. I want to be totally forgiven but I wonder how long I can try. I keep thinking if my children had done something to me that was terrible, how long I would make them pay for their mistakes. I'm weary.

FreshStart,<P>You are truley a blessing to those who read your words.... thanks for your beautiful poetry.<P>You are foregiven and I too have been foregiven for what we have done in our lives.... just remember WHAT happened and try to refrain from becoming that person that you once were and stay focused on the future... I know you are strong, I wasn't in the beginning beating myself up and all... but after reading your words of encouragement and concern, I realized that I needed to pick up the pieces and work on ME and a new beginning... thank you for all you have provided for me...<P>Just wanted to let you know.... July 5th is my 11th anniversary... and I must say that this is THE BEST ONE ever!!! Thanks to God first for changing me and MB for all the support provided.<P>I have never loved or felt love like I am experiencing now after God took over my life and changed my ways. W and I are best friends again and growing closer EVERY day and miss each other when I am working... it's like we are newlyweds all over... we are both happy at last.<P>We even send emails (4-5) a day back and forth to tell each other how much we love and miss one another.... she LOVES it that I take time out of my day at work to send here emails and looks forward to getting them.. as do I<P>Just thought I would let you know how much you have helped me along the way... THANKS<P>------------------<BR>IMSorry.....now IMHappy (In Recovery..Thanks to God)<p>[This message has been edited by IMSorry (edited July 03, 2001).]