I will say a prayer to St Jude for you right after I post this. Keep the faith, and may God bless and continue to care for you and your family/

lone-knight how are you???

Tigger;<BR>Nothing has really changed here, with the exception of my about to lose my job. The anti-depressant medication made me so groggy that I wouldn't hear the alarm clock. If I am late for work one more time, then I lose my job. So, I stopped taking my medication. I'm supposed to see the psychologist this afternoon and we'll see what happens... I'm numb, don't know what to do, and just keep plugging away, trying to heal and praying for my family. I'm really feeling like I am at the end of my rope.<BR>

Hi lone-Knight I was getting concerned about you. Please keep the faith. How long has this been going on? Mine 7 months. H takes 15 steps forward and then 5 steps back. Beyond me. Satin sure does have a powerful pull. Wouldnt this world be a better place if he wasnt here. But he is so we have to be STRONG in our faith to overcome him. I just wanted to let you also know that alot of your prayers ment the world to me. I wish I caould write a prayer like yours and others here. Well I gota run.<P>KEEP THE FAITH<BR>Michelle

Dear LoneKnight,<P>I'm glad to see you posting and letting us know how you're doing. Just hang in there, hon. I think if you do like Tigger says and keep the faith, God will have rewards for you on the other side of all this. It may not be exactly what you *want*, but it will be exactly what you *need* because God knows you better than you know yourself. Don't lose sight of his glorious and merciful love. Sometimes when you feel like you have nothing else -- you have THAT! Always! Forever! Eternally! He promised! And God doesn't break His promises. <P>I'll keep praying for you,<BR>KristyAnn

How are you?

I'm wondering, too. Please post, Lone Knight, and let us know.<P>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn

Tiger, and KristyAnn;<P>Things have not really gotten any better, Still struggling with my faith. Still haven't taken my wedding ring from my hand, and still beleiving that somehow GOD will hear my prayers and the prayers of everyone else, and find a way to restore and reconcile this marriage. I am trying to find strength in the word, in watching all of the Pastors I can find on television and radio. Attending a great church, where I have been asked to, and am playing bass guitar in their praise and worship band.. I am still having sessions with my counselor and also the psychiatrist. Still taking medications but have switched pills yet again. Wife still wants no contact unless it concerns our daughter. Trying to find ways not to feel so completely alone amd lonely in what used to be our home. Finances are still a disaster and the company I work for doesn't have many new projects comming in, so work is becoming scarce. I have very few weeks where I work more than three days a week and the paychecks get smaller with the insurance I have for myself and my daughter. Somehow I feel GOD will take care of everything, but I don't know how, or if, or when. I am dangerously close to losing my house, no place to live, I can't keep my daughter for the weekends. Just trying to find a way out of this depression, heal, and find my way back to my wifes heart, my family, or learn to live as a single, part time daddy, full time father to our daughter.<BR>Prayers are still requested and very much appreciated.<BR>Lone_Knight<BR>

Dear Lone Knight,<P>Good to hear from you. I want to share some recent experiences I have had in hopes that it might help you, too.<P>Recently, it seems everywhere I turn God is giving me a clear and resounding message -- BE PATIENT! God's timetable works much differently than ours, and just because He has not brought about the changes that you want in your life NOW, doesn't mean that He isn't working on them in His own way. I was listening to our local Christian radio station and at least three times over the last week, in different ways, this message came through. In my own reading of the Bible, I've also been getting this message. One point was made that if God gave us everything we asked for when we asked for it, what kind of character would we have? His purpose is beyond our human understanding and we have to BE PATIENT and allow Him to work. <P>God is always on time -- this message was supported by the story of Jesus when he heard that Lazarus was sick and dying. He deliberately delayed His trip to Judea that "God would be glorified" and "others would have faith." It wasn't in keeping with the timetable that Lazarus' family had and they were quite upset when Jesus didn't rush to save him. But, Jesus knew from a two-day trip away, the moment that Lazarus had died, but for God's purpose he delayed so that He could bring Lazarus from the grave and glorify God! Praise God!<P>Have faith, dear friend. God IS working in your life, just as I know He is working in mine. It has been hard for me, too, to be patient and wait on Him. But when you think about what is ahead of us, are we going to need our house in Heaven (Jesus is preparing a mansion for us!), our cars, our tv's, are we going to pay bills, have 8-5 jobs? I'm not trying to minimize your current and obvious concerns (He's working on those things,too!), I'm just trying to put some perspective on it. Compared to our eternal life, our lives here -- other than our walk with God -- will all pass away.<P>Love Him with all your heart, all your mind, all your body and all your soul. Have faith in Him. He is your merciful and sovereign God -- trust HIM and BE PATIENT.<P>I will continue to pray for you,<BR>KristyAnn

Kristy Ann is right on target. My problems with my H have been going on for 7 months. It has anly been in the last month or so that my H has done a turn around. The OW is really LB by lying to my H and she thinks he is stupid. My H is anything but that and he can read right into someones lies. So she doing alot of LB's. REmember that GOD does have a plan for you just believe.<P>Michelle

I just received a call from the lending insitution that holds my mortgage. I attempted to refinance my house, to lower the monthly payment by extending the length of the loan. It was declined, I'm now 2 months behind on the mortgage, and other bills totalling approximately two thousand dollars for the month. I have a little over 140.00 and my next paycheck arrives a week from Wednesday, and will be around 400.00. I'm going to lose my house, and do not have a place to go to. MY parents will not allow me to stay with them, and they are my only relatives. So, it's either my car, or a homeless shelter, or public housing. It seems every prayer I offer is ignored, or there is sin in my life, that I haven't recognized or I'm just a child that GOD is not, at all, concerned with, or there is something so valuable to the kingdom of GOD that the devil HAS to make sure I literally give up completely and cease to exist. I am still seeing my counselor, and my psychiatrist, still taking anti-depressants, actually taking adderal fo ADHD, the psychiatrist is trying attention deffecit disorder as a possible cause.... All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep every single minute, or crawl in a hole. I can't take this anymore.<BR>

Have you looked into chapter 13. I know that sounds awful but it helps you refinance things and get back onto your feet. That was recommended to H and I if we were to stay together, but I think we will have to file chapter 7. It takes awhile for you to lose you house I have been living in mine for 7 months rent free and when i spoke to the mortage co it will be another 6-9 months before i get kick out. Hopefully by then I will be able to purchase the home. Keep your head up I know its hard but you can make it.<P>Michelle