Yeah, they teach that in church, but alas my sin nature took over.<P>A bazillion apologies ... I will just let her continue on her merry way.<P>And Happy Thanksgiving, Cris.

Cristalle -<P>Maya is not saying anything that isn't correct. I don't consider what she's saying as slamming - considering that she seems to know what I did, and quite frankly it was pretty lousy.<P>Maya - I guess I really haven't forgiven Mia's role in the demise of my marriage and I'm extremely jealous that she obviously could make my H feel "whole" where I could not nor had any desire to.

OK, people... back to your corners... (and look at the irony of WHO is saying this!!! )<P>I think one thing we have to realize is Maya is just as screwed up as TL is at this moment, likely BOTH as a result of pretty severe depression. Neither one of them is truly in their right mind, although I give TL points for knowing that counseling will continue to help her in dealing with her future relationships, and that whatever the “prank” she pulled was wrong. <P>I hope Maya will come to know the incredible values of counseling, as TL has. They’re both lashing out right now.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

TL,<P>The email address I gave you is for home only, so I won't be able to check it until this evening.<P>Maya,<P>Sweetie, I know you're hurting right now... I've read everything you've written and didn't feel that anything was as "slamming" as some folks thought... I agree, we ALL need some counseling... now I'm gonna find that bottle of Xanax and take it, as my anxiety level is through the roof right this second! <P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

Just talked to Mia at her office. Can't say she was very happy hearing from me. H was right there - standing over my shoulder hearing my side of the conversation. Gee, wish he had shown such consideration for me while he was having his affair, as he is now displaying such concern for Mia's well-being.<P>I said I was sorry for what I had done. But I was not sorry for still holding her somewhat responsible for having been involved with a married man. Guess I just had to get that one in the conversation... I am aware that Mia has her own way of dealing with what I did, and I will deserve it. The humiliation alone will be quite embarrassing. My H seems to be on "her side" and there's really nothing I can do about it. <P>You know, years from now, when my H ends up with Mia (as I'm convinced this will happen) maybe I'll look back on all this with sorrow and regret.

morning tl, It really does not matter to me what transpired. What matters is where you are going!! Move forward, keep searching for that forgiveness that is inside of you. You are going to be fine. Go to counseling, work on yourself and you will find the answers. <BR>Let some of the opinions roll off you and face your issues. You are a bright intelligent woman with a lot of pain and you can learn from this experience. (((hugs)))<p>[This message has been edited by cl (edited November 24, 1999).]

You know, TL, it takes a pretty big person to apologize like that, and I do admire you. I'm sorry it's all such a painful big mess. Believe me when I say, as a betrayer, I had NO idea the pain caused .... TO EVERYONE INVOLVED.<P>Would that knowledge have stopped the affair? I don't know. I was in a major fantasy land ....<P>Best wishes.