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#341751 07/20/02 10:10 PM
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I rec'd a strange email today from someone that H and I don't particularly care for much. This guy was "friends" with OM and is very creepy.

He has a gf right now but has always been too friendly toward me.

I hate paying the price of the past and one consequence I hate the most is that I created the question in some men's mind: If she would get involved with OM, why not me?

I am afraid this man that sent the email today has convinced himself that I am interested. We met him in a coffee shop recently and he was very forward with me right in front of my H. Today he sent me some pics--one of himself and a couple of some mutual good friends of ours. He included those little emoticons and put a heart, flowers and lips in it. This scares me.

H has advised me not to have any contact with him at all. Please pray that the Lord will protect us from meeting up with him. I have NO INTEREST in him--why would I mess up the almost perfect life I'm enjoying these days????

I just feel scared and grossed out that he would even think I MIGHT be interested and a tiny bit fearful that he might try to chase me. Probably just overreacting.

It's been getting so much easier to forget OM almost totally but things like this still hurt and stir up major regret over the past.

Thanks. You guys are awesome.

#341752 07/21/02 10:20 PM
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I'm sorry that you have to deal with this creep. I do believe tho that if you just ignore him even to the point of being rude if you have to, he will get the point. You don't have to be nice to anyone, much less a creep like this. My prayers are with you sister.

knight

#341753 07/22/02 12:46 AM
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You can block unwanted emails ya know....Try to be understanding of your H Feelings. Tell the guy flat out to get lost... My W felt sorry for a guy once that was lost. He turned out to be a walking demon. Please be careful...
Mark

#341754 07/22/02 08:14 AM
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Knight and Lostpup, thanks for the good advice.

Fortunately, we only see this man once in awhile. We share a mutual friend who is a wonderful man but sometimes too trusting. It's through this friend that contact happens on occasion.

I agree that I have to respect H's feelings totally.

Mark, I tried to block the creep from Messenger and yet he can reach me. Isn't that odd?

This is a rather strange problem in my opinion. But you are right--best just to cut him off. The Lord is doing such amazing stuff in my life and it must be the devil trying to attack, I guess.

Thanks again for your prayers.

Mark, I am worried about you--are you doing OK? You also continue to be in my prayers.

#341755 07/22/02 02:42 PM
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Im not sure what OK is... God has blessed me in many areas like finances but my W has disappered again and is back to square one. Its been another 6 months that I havent seen her. Im having a hard time understanding Gods love. I wonder how much He thinks I can take.....Thank you for your prayers.
Mark

#341756 07/22/02 07:25 PM
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Mark, there are no easy answers. I am so sorry for your pain.

Perhaps your suffering is like that of Christ on the Cross--that feeling of abandonment by the Father. It must have seemed so real to our Lord and yet the Truth was and is that the Father wept at that crucial moment and there was a greater purpose for all in it.

Just take it one step at a time. Hang on to what you do have. Remember we are here for you, too, my brother.

Blessings on you.

#341757 07/23/02 07:27 AM
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Hi Freshstart -
I agree you should ignore his email but if he sends another one, maybe you could have your husband reply in a nonchalant way ... ? I have somebody who sends me remotely inappropriate but not totally inappropriate email which is harder to figure out how to reply to. I just answer around two months late and with no sign of flirting. It's hard to tell sometimes if somebody is flirting seriously or just kidding around (we knew each other in high school so of course everybody kidded around.) I guess if it bothers you, it's inappropriate, right? Maybe some small part of me is glad to still be considered attractive... but that's a slope I don't want to go down.

Mark, I am really glad that financially you are doing well now. That is a huge relief, I'm sure. I'm really sorry about your wife disappearing again and I know you have been such a great soldier of Christ all these years. You mentioned once that she is your second wife. Do you think there is any remote possibility that the Lord wants you to reconsider your first wife as your wife in his eyes? I have been wondering this for a while because you have the most extreme case of any of us. I know you know me well enough now to understand I don't mean this in any critical way - I just wonder if maybe this is why despite all your love, patience, tears and faith that things are not working out and you have been on a roller coaster for so long.

I don't have the answers at all and I don't want to make your life any more difficult than it already is but I have wanted to ask you that before - just to reflect on it and pray about it. When you do the Lord's will, you should feel joy in your heart no matter what the circumstance. If the joy never shows up then maybe there is an unaddressed issue somewhere.

I'm still on my roller coaster too - starting to get used to it and I have to say I am enjoying some of the freedom of living alone while I work on my faults and pray for a reconciliation. At least there are no more fights and no more criticism. It is hard to explain to people that I am married so no, I am not free to go out with anybody. Luckily I feel the strength of God that if I keep praying I won't be too tempted. And of course, I have to stay away from night spots and stuff and recognize the potential for problems there. Luckily I am making a lot of new Christian friends which helps a lot.

Interestingly, the parents of Saint Teresa the Little Flower are possibly on their way to being canonized together as an example of a truly godly married couple who devoted their lives to the Lord. (I know the aunt of a child who received one of the miracles that could bring them this official recognition of sainthood.) I think it's powerful because we all know how the state of marriage and family is today and these two are such examples of perfect Christian charity.

Dear Holy Spirit,
Please pour out your blessings on each of us today to give us the joy of doing your will and discerning what your plan for us is today and every day. Protect us all from the temptations of your enemy and reconcile our families in Jesus' name. Amen.

#341758 07/23/02 08:24 AM
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Tryingtohope, thank you.

I agree about the weirdness of being considered attractive. Yesterday an older man "hit" on me--of course, he was drunk. But it was not pleasant at all. I felt so violated--like "why did he do that to me?" He didn't touch me but I felt used.

Thank you for your encouragement to Mark. What an interesting concept. I agree that Mark is a strong soldier and to be commended for staying in the battle. Mark, just know today we uphold you.

Gotta run to work now.

Knight, continuing to appreciate you, too.

Blessings to all.

#341759 07/23/02 08:54 AM
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Thank you FS for the encouragment and prayers. I do feel abandon at times and that my prayers are in vein. But still I know the truth. Gods timing is always different than ours. Take care and Stay away from those creeps.
Nice to hear from you Trying. She is my first wife, I am her second husband and her first H is an athiest so he aint prayin for her to come back home and he is remarried anyway. I do have a certain joy in my heart that I am to stand and that acually scares me right now. It means I cant give up I suppose....I may have to take care of a vegetable before this is over. I just dont know what its going to take for her to wake up and stop hurting herself, the children and myself.

It does get very hard not to get involved with someone else when your going thru this. I have no advice.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Ive blown it a few times along the way, but God interveined and took away the feelings I had for them inside and messed it all up-lol....
I will continue to pray for all of us here.
Mark

#341760 07/23/02 01:40 PM
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Thanks FS, we continue to struggle yet we keep advancing.

Mark, I know what it is like to have a wife who continues to run. I kept reminding myself that even Jesus was abandoned by 'all' of his closest friends not even mentioning the Father also. Continue to look to Jesus in this time, for when your wife returns home you will have less time with Him. It made me laugh that God took care of you whe you were slipping. The same thing happened to me, probably 3 or 4 times, maybe more, only He knows. Keep serving Him. BTW, 2 wrongs do not make a right, Christ would never have your w D you to go back to H #1, just my 2 cents, but I do believe that is what the Word teaches.

knight

#341761 07/23/02 03:51 PM
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FS,
Is this the same "creep" who made the advances toward you a while ago? Like about a month ago?

If so, then my advice from then still stands.....you AND your H need to tell him you made a huge mistake, and it will not happen anymore, so if he's waiting around to see it happen, he can just move along..........do you remember me posting to you about that?

You know I'm praying for you always, my dear sister.

#341762 07/23/02 06:31 PM
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Hugs to all, esp to Lupo--so sorry your H was granted the D.

Yep, this is the same idiot. No contact since the email although I don't check that account much.

Fortunately, for me, most of my life rocks big time right now. It's nice to finally be deliriously happy. I sure hope that day comes for all of you. My heart is so heavy for the burdens you are called to bear these days.

May you all experience incredible comfort from the Holy Spirit. How could we cope without God in our lives?


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