I noticed that there is very little activity on this prayer board.

I for one need constant direction and reassurance from God.

We spend alot of time trying to figure out how to respond to the circumstances we are in- that they might be brought to repentance and ultimately that our marriages be restored.

But it is God who knows the individuals involved, and who is at work in our lives, changing us, and bringing light into these dark areas. He alone knows what will work best in your situation, at any given time.

He has an agenda- what we need to do is cooperate with what he is doing, yes?

And for us to do that, and not hinder the work , we have to spend time with him, recalling the teachings that Jesus gave us, and praying with ceasing for our spouses and for one another.

The past few days, I have come so close to giving up on my husband and giving in to my own need for companionship and affection.

But giving up is saying that I don't trust Gods ability to heal my husband and deliver him from sin.

I am just barely hanging on by a thread right now, but the thread is attached to the hem of His garment, and I am depending on God to do a miracle in my husbands heart and mind.


I have waited 18 years.

Pray for me ,that I can wait one more hour.

Shul,

I pray that you will find strength in our Lord. Place your burdens on Him, He has broad shoulders. I write this to you to remind myself of this as well. The last couple of days I have just wanted to give up and not feel this way anymore. I really starting praying even more and have seen Him working in lots of little areas. Remember, just because we can't see the Lord working in our S's doesn't mean He isn't there working in their hearts. When you're feeling discouraged, I find it beneficial to speak to Him aloud thanking Him for the things He HAS given me and just saying "I need Your help and strength right now Lord, I'm having a rough time."

May God bless, keep and comfort you.

Thank you Learning lots.

I pray that you will have good news to day, a good sign.

Nothing is too hard for God, yes?

I am waiting to hear from my husband who said he would call me about coming to see us this weekend.

He has promised so many times and not come. It is so hard to wait. I want to be with him.

Further to the last post: He did show up. He took the greyhound bus early in the morning to be here, which I took as a very good sign.

We talked more than we have talked in years, made love, and he says he will be out this weekend again.

I am praying specifically for direction on a couple of things, if anyone would pray with me about these.

1. I am thinking of talking to the OW's boyfriend, (we have spoken before) he knows what is happening, and they have broken up but he sees her. I think he could tell her gently that she is being used and making a fool of herself.

Should I call him or not?

2. Husband and I are having sex. We both want to , but he has also been having sex with her, at least up until last week.

Is this right for us now?

Shul, haven't stopped by this forum in quite some time. I used to come here lots (under a different name) and used to pray constantly, it seemed like every minute of every day ... but I was always ASKING for something from God. I was consistently asking God to intervene in my Hs heart, to make him see the good in our marriage and return fully to me and our children.

Then, as the last year progressed, I found myself praying less and less. Not that I would go days without praying, just didn't praying every hour.

That's when the progress in our rekindling stopped (or stalled or whatever it did). I could absolutely feel the hand of the Good Lord touching myself, my husband and our children when I made prayed faithfully and with an open heart. I could see that God was opening my husband's eyes.

I realized recently that I had been "slacking" in the prayer department and better hop to it.

Now, my prayers have once again been answered.

So the answer to your question is, Yes, we are praying. And Yes, He is listening. And Yes, He is answering our prayers ... he just uses his own timelines.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am praying specifically for direction on a couple of things, if anyone would pray with me about these.

1. I am thinking of talking to the OW's boyfriend, (we have spoken before) he knows what is happening, and they have broken up but he sees her. I think he could tell her gently that she is being used and making a fool of herself.

Should I call him or not?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't believe this is the way to go, Shul. I believe this is you interfering with God's plans. I can feel the impatience through your posts, the desparation, but you have to realize that ALL will be revealed in God's timing, not yours.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 2. Husband and I are having sex. We both want to , but he has also been having sex with her, at least up until last week.

Is this right for us now? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't believe this should stop. I continued to be intimate with my H while he was away. We had sex three times before he came home w/in those 4 months, one time while he was in a drunken state. If he wanted me, I did not deny him. The first time I came on to him & afterwards, I knew that I had "used sex" as a manipulation tool & I quickly repented & asked for his & God's forgiveness. The 2nd time was in his drunken state but was initiated by him. I did not deny him his pleasure. And third time, he & I were willing participants! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

That last time before he moved home, I could feel the emotional connection between us shift a little bit in my favor. I could see God was using this tool as well to work on my H's heart so I sat back & let God do His thing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I want you to look back at all the events that have taken place so far & just see the mighty works that God has been doing & how he has already begun the reconciliation process. Your H's heart has already started to turn toward home. Thank God for this path to reconciliation instead of asking Him at this point & just see what happens. No, he's not physically in your home yet, but all good things are worth waiting for & my dear, I really feel that God is using all of these instances to draw your H back to his home & his family.

I know others will probably disagree with me on this one, but it's JMVHO & my personal experience.

My prayers are still with you Shul,
Yvette

Headed,

Thank you.

I have had dry times too, and times when I haven't known what to pray for anymore, and times when I was too upset to pray and just curled up in Gods lap and cried.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking. We are supposed to ask, seek, knock.

But I have noticed that my prayers have changed a bit. Sometimes I feel such an urgency to pray, as if he was in terrible danger.

The past few months I have sensed that I need to put my marriage on the altar, and get with Gods agenda for healing my husband .I sensed a while back that we are apart so that God can really go to work on him, and so far it doesn't look so good, but I am trying to understand the big picture- that maybe he has to hit rock bottom before he can come to his senses, like the prodigal- and that I have to be patient and continue to show him love and acceptance no matter what he does. It is like being crucified some days...

We are in a battle, and our weapon is love.

I spend alot of time reading Hosea, and taking cues from there. I also have this verse from Isaiah to stand on:

"I have seen his ways and I will heal him. I will restore comforts to him and to his mourners."

We are their mourners, yes?

Love ,

Shul

Thank you Yvette.

I agree. I should not interfere, but let God deal with her. I'm praying that she will meet someone who will love her. (One of these days I will be reporting that she has met someone else.)

And I feel peace about being with my husband. It is a way of showing him love. I think it is what he needs right now, but I can't explain it. I have felt very tender toward him, as if he is badly hurt.

Also, I have sensed lately that if he asks for anything I should do it for him willingly. Go two miles etc...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Shul

I was praying just now, and asking God to tell me if there is anything I should be doing differently, when something came to my mind.

Many years ago, before I met my husband , I met a man who told me that he was separated from his wife, that she had kicked him out.

I was a new believer, and I struggled with whether I ought to be with this man.

I asked some pastors, and one said "if you love each other its ok", and another said, " He should divorce his wife, and you should marry him, and then repent". So it went on for a while longer.

Anyway, a friend called me one day , and said "you don't want to hear this, but what you are doing is wrong."

Some months later we had almost ended it, but I was at his apartment one day, when the phone rang. It was his wife. She started calling me names, and I said " I didn't know that you wanted him. I am sorry, and I will end this right now".

And I did.


Soon after, I met my husband.

Anyway, I have an impression that the woman my husband is living with needs to hear that what she is doing is wrong, and that I want my husband.


I am thinking of writing her a letter, or email simply telling her in a loving way, that I understand she is lonely, but that what they are doing is wrong, and that I love him and want to be with him.

I need clear guidance from God on this.

Father God,

I pray that if this is your will, that you will arrange the opportunity for me to talk to her, or arrange that someone else will talk to her her.

I ask this in the name of your Son, Jesus.

Shul

Thanks for asking! I need the accountability.

I started praying through "Power of a Praying Woman" last week. I got about half-way through the names of God and was convicted of bad intentions about the pint of Ben& Jerry's in the freezer.

I hate to confess that I put down the book and went ahead and ate the ice cream. I want the Jesus to be the Lord of my life except when I don't want him to tell me what I can and can't do!

SO.. I'll start over again!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Many years ago, before I met my husband , I met a man who told me that he was separated from his wife, that she had kicked him out.

I was a new believer, and I struggled with whether I ought to be with this man.

I asked some pastors, and one said "if you love each other its ok", and another said, " He should divorce his wife, and you should marry him, and then repent". So it went on for a while longer.

Anyway, a friend called me one day , and said "you don't want to hear this, but what you are doing is wrong."

Some months later we had almost ended it, but I was at his apartment one day, when the phone rang. It was his wife. She started calling me names, and I said " I didn't know that you wanted him. I am sorry, and I will end this right now".

And I did.

Soon after, I met my husband.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Shul,

When I read this account of a previous relationship, I was reminded of a quote by a wonderful, faithful christian lady who led me to a knowledge of my Lord.......many, many moons ago.

She and her H ran a sort of "coffee house" for young singles, and we all congregated there, prayed, talked, fellowshipped every week.

We were all YOUNG, (mostly) single - and LOOKING! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

She used to always remind us:
satan always tempts you with his best before God brings HIS best.........

I hope that is helpful.

God Bless,

Yes, I pray for everyone here that is believing God will restore their marriage. I try to everyday but with things going on in my family right now it is hard. My husband came home almost 8 months ago after being gone 4 years. My ministry is to my husband and family right after God so I don't have as much time to be here. Satan is really hitting my family hard right now. My huband and I are getting along great. Satan is getting me in other ways now.

All of you always have my support if needed. Just email me.

gentle

Gentle,

Four years? That must have been very hard for you!

It is a lesson to me not to give up.
How did it come about that he returned after so long a time?

I'm sorry to hear that you are having troubles. God knows a way through this, too, yes?

Shul

Gentle,

I would love to e-mail you & talk. We're in the same boat so to speak. My H came home 4 months ago & we're doing fairly well, and I talk to singleguy quite frequently & e-mail S&C sometimes (sorry S&C, I should write more -- would love to hear how you & the W are doing?--luv ya!), but it would be nice to talk w/a female who is where I'm at as well. No one can have too much support, you know??

Glad to hear you & your H are doing well. You've been an inspiration to me along with countless others.

Shul,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is a lesson to me not to give up.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It sure is. Stories like these were the reason I held on to my hope that my H would return. These are the people that we need as support because when everyone else tells us to move on & give up on our WS, we can look to others like gentle & LL, and know that God has many other things in store for us & our S.

Never stop thinking about all of you,
Y

Yvette,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I talk to singleguy quite frequently p/quote]

OK, now I'm hurt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

[quote]& e-mail S&C sometimes (sorry S&C, I should write more -- would love to hear how you & the W are doing?--luv ya!), </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know "out of sight out of mind". sg doesn't write much any more either. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> just kidding sg. It's actually been good, focusing on my M.

Shul,

These women are to be admired (gentle, Lupo and Standing). They have been an inspiration not only to me, but to many others that have passed through here.

All of you are in my prayers (especially sg).

Love you all and lots of God's blessings on you.

S&C

Oh boy.

If anyone is reading, we need prayer covering.

My husband is here with me today and I am thinking that he is very close to the end of himself.

The Father gave me some insight yesterday, something I can say to my husband, and I am watching for an opening.

The enemy is also trying to mess with my head some.

Father,

I ask you to forgive my sins and give me a pure heart and mind.

Father, you have shown me a way.

Help me today to reach my husband with love and truth, and open his heart to hear and believe. Tell me when to speak, and give me courage.

Thank you Father for what you are doing.

Are we praying. I start almost every day with about 2 hours of prayer and scripture reading. I pray in the car whilst driving, and many other moments.

What's frustrating is that I don't see much happening with my wife. Well, I have to admit I don't see my wife very much at all, so I don't know what's happening.

I know things are working in me, and I have my moments of drama and sin, and I have my moments of pure joy.

But it is still hard to keep praying when I don't see my wife coming any closer to coming home.

It is really hard to pray for the OM that he would find the joy of the Lord as well, but I do pray that.

I hope God has a sense of humor, because I do share with him that I would get some perverse pleasure out of Him striking OM dead. HOWEVER, I never ask for that, and I know that it would hurt his family, so I really don't want that outcome.

I have to consider that perhaps OM's wife is wanting the same thing for my WW.

Tony

I think God does have a sense of humor. I think He laughed when I prayed that every time WH and OP tried to have sex, the phone would ring, or an alarm would go off, or etc. I laughed, and felt no disconnect from Him because of it.

For Shul:
I'm not really confident about public praying, but I have been amazed at how much time you take to type out prayers for those who post here (also Yvette.)

So, here goes...


God, I know you hear before we even form the words. Today Shul needs (needed?) your guidance. Please let her know you are there and can handle anything.
Thanks for being our listening ear.
Amen.

Shul,

Yes the wait was very hard. It was not an easy road, but God brought me through. Sometimes it is hard to believe he is home. I have been praying for my sons healing from addiction for over four years. It seems he gets better and then things get worse. It is really hard right now. My son just can't stop drinking and he ends up back in jail.

I will be glad when God delivers my son from all his trails. It is really hurting me. This past week has been rough. I hae to believe God will answer my prayers for my son just like He answered my prayers for my husband. It just doesn't look like it right now.

Of course, it didn't look like my husband was coming home during the four years I was praying for restoration. He came home a little at a time. He started staying with us more and more. Then in Nov he didn't leave again and started talking about us as a married couple.

We still have a long way to go. Somethings are still hard for him. We never divorced, he always said the divorce would happen but it never did, praise God.

Standing,

I am so thankful your husband came home. It is hard for me to keep up with all the post now.
You can email me at tpatter4@aol.com Make sure you let me know it is you or I will not open the email.

gentle