Hi, I'm brand new. I stumbled accross this site and it seemed pretty interesting.
Let me start off by saying that I just found out that my husband of seven years has beeen having a 4 month affair with a woman at work. We have been having problems and of course he found comfort in someone else. He even left for a week on Dec 27th and little did I know he stayed with her for that week before he came back home. We even started counceling but he saw and slept with her the very next day after our first session. I found out about his affair just last wednesday and we had our second counseling session on Saturday. He said that he screwed up and that he broke it off and now wants to fix our marriage. I feel so betrayed and so hurt and yet I still love him the same. No less and I hate myself for that. I should hate him and I don't. I spoke to the other woman, and she gave so many details about their affair that I wake up every morning at 3am thinking about them together. My husband is a police officer and he gets off work at 2am and he was usually with her by 3am four days a week. Can my marriage be successful with so much knowledge, on my part?
I can't stop thinking about all of the things she told me they did together and to each other as well.
We also have a 6 yr. old daughter which makes it so much more difficult. Even if we did split up, I'd still have to see and spaek to him and that would be so hard to do, when I still love him so much.
Any advice would be great. I can't believe how many other people are in the same exact situation.

Debbie

Debbie-
I just happened by your post.
Girl, you just got here. Yes, you can get through this. But it will take so much work, and be very painful. But it can be done.
First: Go buy the "His needs Her needs" book
Also "Surviving an affair" and "torn assunder"
Get educated!!!!!!!!!!!
It gives you power and control.
Second, get in Marriage couns. Quickly
Get in Individual counse. Him too!!
Third--start posting either in "just found out" OR "recovery"
LOTS more action over there!!!!!!!!!!
I will look for you!
Keep posting!
traceys

Debbie,

My heart aches for you...I know exactly how you feel. It has been 6 months since I found out, and I too know way too many details. Things that helped me: the book: Infidelity, A survivor's guide...work through it together. Go to counceling together, you go to your own therapist as well. What I had to do was put it all on the table...honesty and communication...when I had a question or was feeling a certain way...I'd share it at the first available time...you can come through this with a better marriage and a better sense of who you are...I still have times when I'm torn between wanting to slap his face or kiss him...I'll keep my eyes open for more postings from you...