Smile, I just found that same sentence today in my rereading of that chapter, Taj, so God must really think it is important! I prayed through som many of those prayers today and cam home to find a communication from my H stating that he was going to be doing something and he was following the recommendation of the pastor to let me know he was honoring me. One small step....

I too found that same sentence today. I told my h what I was praying about today and asked him if there was anything else I could pray about for him (via email today). As I mentioned before, he has some concerns about his job so he asked me to pray about that. It was really good because we then talked about it at night. We had a long talk about how we know when God answers our prayers or what direction he is telling us to go. Anyone have any good insights on that? He is always looking for "signs" and I know that is not always how prayer is answered. Anyways, maybe you all have some helpful information (as usual). Blessings, J

NewDay,<P>Knowing the will of God! Now that is a heavy question! Knowing what His answer is when we pray! That is just as heavy! :<P>I was told several things a long time ago which have stuck and the advice has never done me wrong.<P>First: God wants us to know His will. He doesn't want us floundering around not knowing what to do next. There are plenty of scriptures to back that up.<P>Second: When in doubt, do nothing! God will give us His peace to move forward when He is directing us.<P>Third: Which somewhat contradicts the 2nd God directs a moving target. He wants us to go about life as usual and He will direct us through His scriptures, other people , circumstances , and of course as we pray. Waiting for God to burn directions in the lawn just will not cut it! <P>I have had times where it took a while to know Gods direction but I know that if I trust Him to reveal His plan for me He will, He promises to be faithful always and He is.<P>I'm sure there are others who have their own ideas and experiences in knowing the will of God, but these are mine.<P>God Bless, Taj

SueB - PTL!<P>I re-read His Wife a lot because I feel like God really wants me to change and be the kind of Christian and Wife He wants me to be before he can work on my H. When I read the sentence about asking my H if there is anything he wanted me to pray for him about, I felt like he wouldn't like me to do that, and that I would seem pushy to him - like I'm trying to stuff God down his throat. I may get brave and ask him soon though. <P>The other morning when we were having coffee he said "so you've been up reading huh" because I had left the bible open to Matthew the night before, where I'd left off. In the past my H would have ridiculed me for this. This time he was nice, so I consider this a baby step forward. <P>I still pray the "change me Lord" prayer every day. I am now asking the Lord to soften my husband's heart toward Him and to call him. I know He will.

This seems to be the chapter at the core of this study!!! I have to re-read often, as my resentments are repeatedly rearing thier ugly heads.......<P>I have to keep remembering that my part in this is to first love God with all my heart, mind and strength, then respect my husband.. <P>I think that getting back to doing this in the right order will help me alot, as I have been once again finding it hard to admire and respect... <P>I keep on thinking "well, if H would... Or if H could, then it would make it sooo much easier...!" I even go back to the scripture in Eph where it says to respect, and complain to God that H isn't doing his part.. Do you know that it doesn't say... Respect your husbands 'IF' they do the above. Geeeeeee I always have heard people say that, in my defense for not honoring and respecting..... BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE AN 'IF' CLAUSE!!! It simply says "wives honor/respect your husbands..."<P>Boy do I have to have prayer in this... If you have read the last few posts I've written during the last few days, you'll see that they are not very positive... <P>Blessings to you all... Im praying for you today as I need to focus away from me...<P>cozy

First, I have to respond to Cozy, because this is an area where I also am struggling. In my counselling sessions, our pastor focuses on honor which is another word for respect but seems to be less hard to swallow I guess. I have to focus on how I am actively honoring my husband, what ways do I show I care. I honor God by honoring my husband and since He is the one I am most concerned about honoring, this seems to be helping. It is helping me to write down those things I do or say that are honoring but it is even more helpful to say to my husband, I am doing this for you because I wanted to honor you, since there is distrust going on for both of us and motivations are often questioned. It also makes me focus on WHY I am doing something, kind of like checking in with God to make sure my motivations are pure.<P>I seem to live in this chapter too! Taking the log out of my own eye seems to be a full time job. Husband's issues are being addressed by pastor, I am released from that burden now. It is more important for me to pray through the specific prayers for my husband daily with the right attitude so that my heart will be softened. Trying to rest in Him more and wait in expectation.

Hey all,<P>It has been quite a day. I just got back from an hour walk with God. Mighty cold but beautiful. It was nice of God to take the time. Praise Him. I put on a praise tape (Twila Paris) and off I went. Earlier today I was asking God what was going on in my family. My 15 year old was arrested 4 weeks ago for trespassing luckily nothing came of that. The same daughter lost her keys on Monday just before returning to her Christan boarding school (getting her away from her "friends?") and I didn't get the locks changed fast enough. Apparently one of her "friends?" stole them and they broke into the house. Took the telephones of all things and my watch that I forgot to put on (20th wedding anniversary gift from my husband 2 1/2 yrs ago). Can you tell it was teenagers. Then my youngest (9) has been really having a hard time. Crying, yelling saying daddy hates her because he won't let her come over (the other woman was in town for Christmas and apparently stayed an extra week or two) but since the youngest doesn't know about her she doesn't understand why she can't go over. He did spend time with her but not enough. <BR>Well, God showed me that I have been letting evil into house with my daughter's friends and not turning to God more. I haven't instructed my children and also convicting me with the statement from Experiencing God study. "Your behavior and your words tells others what you believe about God." Zinger. I wrote a long note to my daughter at school saying essentially what does your swearing and hanging with delinquent kids tell others about your belief in God. I talked to the youngest about it also. We had a great conversation. I told her what convicted me about this. We talked about how if we are to be God's children we must live by example. She is amazing. So I have been keeping this in my heart today and my heart has really been tender toward my husband all day. When I prayed for my family I cried today. How did this seemingly Christan family get to such a place. I explained to my youngest that God taps us on the shoulders and all these events over the last few months is God attempting to wake us up. It is in praying over the last several weeks that God has revealed many truths to me. It convicts but it is laced with God's Grace. So yes, this chapter has been important. I have been praying this prayer for the wife before I start praying for my husband. Change me Lord, and man he has been changing me. I have to let go and let God daily change me and my family for his glory and our good. Sorry this is so long. It was on my heart.

Neat revelations HW!

I posted a long "vent" on how bad my day was going earlier today. <BR>It ended up being deleted due to my oversight of filling in my user name! <BR>Somehow I felt God didn't want me to post all that junk! <P>So I decided to read "His Wife" for the hundredth time. <BR>It always comes back to me and though I appreciate the need to change I also am frustrated with the insensitivity my H exhibits on my behalf.<P>Please pray for me, I am feeling sorry for myself today and it is not a pretty sight. I know God is at work but I get awfully impatient especially when things are so obvious and my H decides to be selfish.<P>Lord, forgive me for being easily offended and hurt today. Help me Father to leave all my expections with you and keep me from looking for things that you have not as yet developed in my H. Allow the past to remain there and not forever be brought into the present everytime there is a conflict. Help us Lord to get beyond this hurdle that seems to be tripping us up. IJN<P><P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Lord, please be with Cathy today. Help her to have your peace. Please bring healing into her home. Please let true forgiveness heal both she and her husband.<P>Amen<P>liz<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

I'm so sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Any better today? I can relate to the hurt you feel by your husband being insensitive. Sometimes the pain just gets to be too much. Been there. The last couple of days have been pretty trying to say the least. The evil one is attacking us Cathy, and wants us to give up so he can take over our husbands. I'll be praying for you throughout the day today. I brought my POPW book with me today to re-read some chapters at lunch, so I can refresh my mind on how I need to pray. I have been feeling sad lately because my husband seems to take me so for granted. It appears that saving our marriage is not a priority for him right now. Now, more than ever, we need to keep our faith. Its the only thing we can depend on. God bless you Taj, AW

POGP and AW,<P>Thank you for your prayers on my behalf. Yesterday it was as if I needed to get ahold of someone in this bible study. I know when you ladies pray that it is with understanding and that is the prayer that reaches God. I can't talk to anyone about this issue. But I know that all of you have been in the same place to some degree and some even more. I find if I try and talk to my family or friends they get so defensive of me and I don't need anyones pity either.<BR>I know I can expect truthtelling from all of you with God's grace thrown in for extra good measure.<P>Thanks again, blessings, Taj<P>Oh ya, we are still at an impasse so keep praying for God to help us communicate this issue.<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18<p>[This message has been edited by Taj (edited January 17, 2000).]

You've got my prayers Taj! I know exactly how you feel. I can't discuss any of our problems with my friends or family because they think I have lost my mind taking my H back. This board is the only place I feel safe in discussing our needs. Thank you all for being there to listen and pray.

I know what you mean about talking to your family and friends. I have several Christain friends and they have been wonderful over the last 5 yeras. However it wasn't until my husband moved out that I had to tell my mom and sister. They are not Christians and I'm sure they think I am crazy besides being co=dependant. I hate that term. If I want to honor my vows believing God can change my husband, well I have difficulty with that term. I have been coming to the infidelity forum for at least one 1/2 years but I am enjoying this Bible study one more. When people pray for each other I find it much more supportive then just venting. Don't get me wrong venting is necessary and I thnik the other forum is very helpful. NBut when you've been there for a while it can become overwhelming. Hense, the exit of many old timers. But I feel I've found my niche. God has really been pressing on my heart to pray for women who are hurting as much as I am. I shared with Sad mom an internet group that prays and fasts for their marraiges one day a week. If anyone is interested the address is [Texls@aol.com. I have only done this one week but it was awesome. I felt so lifted up in praying for others, and closer to God. Take a look if you are interested. Well tomorrow I return to classes. It is show time again. Two days of classes and three days of field work together is overwhelming and especially for my 9 year old. Please keep me in prayer that I can balance everything again and maintain my time with God each day. Thanks

I'm bringing this to the top for confusedone and myself.

Up to the top for Desperate In Idaho and Regina.

Its been a while since we resurrected the chapter that started all of this. I needed to post something which happened yesterday.<P>I got the study guide for POPW and have been working on "His Wife". Well, saw something new again for the umpteenth time! <P>I saw a need to ask my H for forgiveness. There was my spiritual pride again. "Who me, I didn't do anything wrong, he's the one who had the affair"! I seem to think I am the only one in this house with a direct line to God. Due to my H's spiritual condition, as I see it.<P>Well God says that spiritual pride! I went to my H and asked him to forgive me for trying to be the spiritual head of this family and not allowing him his rightful postition. He looked at me and gave me a big kiss! <P>Maybe if I get out of God's way He will answer my prayers concerning Mike! Maybe I am the one standing in the way of his spiritual growth. Guess I have had a log in my eye!<P>Taj

I was thinking about this the other day. I really don't think my H wants to be the spiritual head of the household but then again maybe I haven't given him a chance. I always want things done my way - even when he helps the kids with their homework or baths or something - I have a really hard time staying back and letting him do it his way. I once mentioned to him about the husband being the spiritual head of the household and he was quite surprised. He thought most woman hold this role. He had been reading devotionals and the Bible every night and I was so proud of him, but lately I haven't seen him open a book. I didn't want to say anything for fear of him thinking I am trying to push him. I tried to stand back and let God work. Last night I couldn't resist so I just said "oh, did you finish your book? Haven't seen you reading it lately." He said "no, I haven't been reading it as I should." End of discussion, but no book reading. So I will do the "shut up and pray" and let God lead him in this area. Do you like the study guide? I want to get it but I am so overwhelmed right now just praying through the POPW and using the POPW journal and reading Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On (another Stormie book) as well as a Christian fiction book Left Behind. I love to read but it's hard to squeeze in everything I want to read! Thanks for bring up His Wife again. One of the most influential chapters for me! Blessings, J

I don't know if you guys were praying for us about my previous post or not, but last night when my H came to bed, he pulled out his devotional and began reading. Praise God! I thought surely someone out there was reading my post and praying and I thanked God for his quick response. And then prayed for all of you. Blessings, J

NewDay,<P>God answers prayer! Isn't that a great commentary to anyone who doubts that. Thanks for the prayers back at us! <P>God Bless, Taj