Hi! I have been married 12 years and found out in October my H had an relationship with another woman for about 4 years (sexual the last 1-2?). It has been the most devasting yet spiritually renewing time of my life. We have lived together during this whole process and attended church. Still can't figure out how he could sit next to me and hold my hand and pray with me while sleeping with another woman. I think the church attendance was just a ritual for him but it wan't always that way. I have grown closer to the Lord during this process and have emailed my husband spiritual inspirations each day. He didn't respond much so I quit. Then he asked where they were and said he found them very helpful. Then just two weeks ago he came home with a men's devotional book and a woman's for me. I am so grateful he is now reading the Lord's word. He keeps it in his briefcase and says he is using it. PTL!! He is moving forward with the Lord a few steps at a time. We have a long way to go but I so much want him to find that personal relationship that I am continually developing. I could not have survived this affair without the Lord and only by his grace will we ever truly heal. So on we go!

My H and I have been married for 7 yrs. We have 2 daughters- 6 & 11 and we are a Christian family. We have been through almost everything- in-law problems, money,phys.abuse,OW,and an attempted suicide by me in 94 when he left me the first time for the OW. It only lasted 3 months. he has talked off and on about not being happy and wanting out, but I thought we had finally straightened things out. We became Christians in July/98, he got a good job, and the future looked bright. Then his Grandfather died earlier this yr. and things have steadily gone downhill. He left 4 days ago to "find himself". He says he loves me, but isn't in love with me and doesn't know if he wants us to mend things. He is tired of trying.He became upset when the people at church found out and now he said he will not go back.He had talked of becoming a deacon.<P>I went and bought the book yesterday and I have been reading everything here. I already feel so much better. Thank You all for opening up and sharing. That is something that is very hard for me to do, But I'm going to do better. <P><BR>

Linda Beth<BR>one of the things you wrote really hit home for me because My H said almost the same thing. "He says he loves me, but isn't in love with me and doesn't know if he wants us to mend things. He is tired of trying.He became upset when the people at church found out and now he said he will not go back" Only my H won't have anything to do with family and friends since they found out about our seperation. He feels everyone is against him and looking down on him. I just don't seem to be able to reach him and let him know that a lot of our friends are not judgemental. <BR>Lord guide me through this difficult time. Let our H's forgive themselves and open there hearts to those around them. Let them open their hearts to you Lord so they will finally find some peace and guidance. <P>------------------<BR>morgan