I saw the OW for the first time today. Was that a shock for those of you who have never met the other person? She was at her kids' basketball game and I was at our son's soccer game in the same building. My husband pointed her out to me. Can't believe he shared that with me but I am glad he did. I have so often imagined them together and now I have a face. Is that good or bad? I am glad she is just an average looking person like me - not a raving beauty but not an icky slob either ;-)<BR>My H was a little fearful that I might say something to her, but I know that is not what God would have of me. So I kept quiet. It was hard. But my H was very comforting to me after we got home and talked about it. I just wondered how others felt the first time the saw the OW, but I realize many of you know or were friends with the OW. That would be so.. hard. I am grateful for the little blessings God has bestowed upon me. J<BR>

Hmmm... Ya know I never have still sorted out how I felt the first time I saw (a picture) of OW... I think I was about to have our youngest daughter, and H showed me a pic/jpg he had on a disk of OW/OC at about 2 weeks post...<P>I still guess I should sift through all that mess in my emotional being and make sure I hold no negative sinful thoughts and feelings.. You made me think this morning.. <P>I guess its time to clear my forgiveness sheet on OW too..... How many others here are having this struggle...???<P>cozy

I would love to say that I believe I could be totally free from thoughts of the OW but I really don't believe that. The damage she did to my life through her selfishness is something that can be certainly healed but not erased. My marriage ended the day I realized there had been deceit, lies and betrayal, and then began anew with the Truth. It so happened that is also the day I saw the OW for the first time. I had met her before the affair started in the 80's but never really looked at her.<P>God asks us to forgive those who have sinned against us BUT I don't believe that forgetting is very realistic. That is where the Serenity prayer helps me alot:<P>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,<BR>The courage to change the things I can.<BR>And the wisdom to know the difference.<P>If I keep kicking myself for the times I struggle with this issue I will be bloody. I chose instead to accept the consequences of my husbands sin and that I believe is living in forgiveness.