Ladies,<P>I just wanted to say how impressed I am with your responses. Any man who would be disrespectful or be unfaithful to you certainly has some maturing to do. <P>If there is a word which means the absolute opposite of submission, it would have my wife's picture beside it. According to her, I have never done anything right and she has never done anything wrong. She professes to be a Christian at church services, but as soon as we are out of the building, she tells me that I should have been listening to the sermon because I have a lot of improving to do. This is, of course, only on the days when she chooses to go instead of sleeping in and letting me get both girls up, fed, and dressed to go without her. <P>Sorry about the whining again, but I honestly am very impressed with your responses. <P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.<BR>John

I find it interesting that none of us have brought up the husband's role in order to contrast submission.<P>Early Christianity elevated women to a place in the family and society that they had not previously enjoyed. In fact in most cultures women were little more than property. So the role given to men in the treatment of their wives was a breakthough.<P>Men are called as servent leaders. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. A Husband is supposed to care for his wife as he cares for his own body. In fact if a man's relationship with his wife is not God pleasing, his prayers are not even heard.<P>In the light of the man's role, the woman's role of submitting, seems more natural than the idea of obeying a dominant mate.<P>Of course the bible also says to submit to one another as well.<P>My personal opinion, that submitting has been given far greater emphasis by leaders of patriarchal church culture, than may really be intended. In other words, the teaching on submission is often not balanced with the Servant Leadership ideal, so it is somehow skewed.<P>Again, my personal opinion, is that submission is more of an attitude of respect, which men generally crave and when properly given by their wives, they thrive.<P>Women on the other hand, generally want to be loved and cherished...which of course includes respect, but with a different emphasis. Therefore the teaching is for men to LOVE their wives and women to RESPECT their husbands.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I guess for me, I was trying not to focus on the man's responsibility and concentrate on mine since my request before the Lord was to change me.<P>My husband does not treat me as scripture says and yet he wonders why God doesn't hear his prayers. I can't tell him, it just makes him angrier. I would love to follow a servant leader.<P>Father, make my husband the man you desire for him to be as well as for me to be the wife for him that he needs. Father, help us to draw close to you and then to each other that we may be one with you as a couple. Give both of us Your wisdom Father and bind the evil one from our home. IJN

I believe I'm in a similar situation as SueB. My H has not treated me the way the scriptures say he should, nor can I say a word to him about it. Since my H is not a born-again Christian (he says he believes there is a God, but that's as far as his belief goes), I don't feel that I can expect him to treat me the way the Lord intends him to, yet. I have discovered though that the more submissive I am to him (i.e., responding gracefully and lovingly to his verbal attacks, accepting his decisions regarding our family, home, finances, not arguing with him) he has shown more love to me than in the past. Not as much as I would love to have, but an improvement. This is also a result of my constant prayer for the Lord to soften his heart toward me. I believe God is influencing my H's decisions even through he doesn't pray or ask for His guidance, by the prayers I pray for him. My H does not know I pray for him. He sees that I attend church every week, and has notices a few of the books I'm reading. So many times I want to tell him how wonderful and happy his life would be if he would turn it over to the Lord, but I can't do that. He would get angry, tell me "you're not turning into a Jesus freak on me are you" etc. So I just keep silently praying for God to call his name. Oops, sorry I've gotten off the subject a little here.<P>Thank you to the men that have contributed their thoughts. It's helpful to us. <P>

up for schizzo!

I'd like to expand a tiny bit on what FHL was saying....<P>Wives, submit to your husband, and Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church...<P>Look at the relationship between the church and Christ. Christ is always the one that fills in the gaps - we may be called to be submissive, however - Jesus carries a fuller responsibility in the relationship between Christ and the church. In that perspective, I believe, we, as Christians, are to respond to Christ's love - and as wives - we are to respond as well. <P>God didn't make woman out of man's foot, or his head, but his SIDE. So, in the same way we aren't to "lord" over our husbands, or our husbands to "lord" over us. Instead, I see the relationship of the marriage to be "RESPONSIVE". <P>Wives - submit.... Wives - respond to the love of your husbands. Wives, you are equal in power with your husbands, not below - not above. <P>I believe that FHL is right, in that Patriarchal perspectives toward religion try to use this as a way to uphold power to the man. But, I don't think God intended man and wife to be this way, at all - but rather I believe God intended marriage to be a team, an effort of responsiveness and love, not power and control.<P>TNT

Connie is right. We are all equal in God's eyes. Yet, just as there are roles that are hierarchical in society, so it is in the family structure. It is all based on rules.<P>There was a comment earlier about you ladies being wonderful. I agree wholeheartedly. I am praying that someday my W will have the Godly wisdom He has bestowed upon you all.<P>MONDO HUG to you all!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net