Im bringing this back up so the newer posters can give us some background and read ours...<P>Im going to start a card file so that I can keep your names- e-mails- current status and prayer needs (birthdays too) updated and at hand for prayer nights.... Going back to edit my prayer a bit too.. <P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

<BR>Hi...<BR>Both my H and I are 40, two boys..14 and 17 years old..... I was 16 and he was 17 when we starting dating... married 5 years later.. I thought it was a good marriage... now tells me pretending for all those years....<P>PA started in Sept99...discovery was Oct 99... moved out for 10 days at the end of Jan00... came home ten days later...promised to end PA ... but never did... now wants Divorce and sell home... plans to meet OW this summer... she lives abroad and they talk 2-3 times per week... so he says.<P>I love my H very much and in this past 61/2 months, I realise how I contributed to this happening in my marriage...<P>Dear Heavenly Father...... <BR>I pray that you destroy that relathinship my H is in..., destroy that sexual desire that they have for one another... I pray taht you remind him of his promise he made before you to love me forrever... trouble his heart with guilt and shame for what he is doing... Instruct him even as he is sleeping.... Lord cahnge me so that my H will see me in a different light... Lift that Fog that surrounds him and get the enemy out of this family...our marriage....You know my heart Lord and you know that I would do everything in my power to be a perfect wife to my H... He would never regret recommittting to this marriage for as long as he lives..you also know that I would never throw this up in his face...I would let the past be the past and work very hard on our future together...I know that this is on your time... but what I am asking you to do is speed up this process... PLEASE so the hurt and pain can come to an end in this family... for our children, mothers, siblings and friends that ae greiving with me for this loss... Lord PLEASE ... I do not want to leave a Legacy of divorce for my children...IJN....Amen....<P>June 6,2000.....UPDATE............<P>My H moved out saturday night...... I now know he has been to a lawyer.. re: divorce.<BR>I'm heartbroken and I Just continue to pray that the lord will restore this marriage...<BR>I know I must keep strong..........s<BR><p>[This message has been edited by scoick (edited June 06, 2000).]

Hi, New Kid here, sorry I missed this earlier in the week. I would love to join this group, I have found so much comfort and companionship here and I haven't even introduced myself yet. I hope I'm not too late....<P>I'm Growing up, age 41 (next Saturday)<BR>I have 4 children. 3,5,12&13, two from previous marriage, two from current common-law marriage of 7 years.<BR> H is 40 also. (in years not in maturity) In fact is my biggest baby. Supposed to be getting married this year, but this promise has been made for the past five.<BR>Recently prompted by the spirit to seek Jesus and have found great comfort in laying my burdens down at his feet. I completely believe that he has answered some of my prayers. I am now trying desperately to catch up for all the years of missed lessons, and blessings.<BR>Although H and I still live together in the same house we are estranged. The OW has not been completely revealed to me yet, but I know that she is there and have felt so for several years.<BR>H is in complete denial of responsibility in every capacity of our life except for paying the bills. I am trying to be thankful for that, but it is so difficult when he constantly reminds me (belittles me) and I see it as a small contribution in comparision to the emotional burden he continually puts upon myself and the children. Not to mention the physical responsibility.<BR>H has no interest in me, God, children or repairing what is broken. Very angry and bitter. I have been a "whipping boy" for previous 4 years. I'm sure you get the picture. <BR>In pursuit to let Jesus into my heart, I have noticed H's heart also softening but we still have farrrrrrrrr to go. H has no integrity. The adversary has a very strong hold on H. There is not one area of his life that he is not lurking. <BR>I sincerely request your helpful prayers to banish him from our home and H's paths so that we may find unity and respect.<BR>I appreciate the messages of all of your beautiful prayers found here, they have helped me to learn to pray for myself. I am not as eloquent as most of you but here is my prayer..<BR>Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you a thousand times for your light of Jesus. May he continue to do your glorious work in all the lives of those who seek him. I pray with all my heart that all of these h's will be prompted to seek their peace with him. Please command all of their hearts to hear his voice. Please keep the adversary bounded from all of our paths and whisper guilt and shame to all the OW involved that they will bear the saddness we feel in these situations and repent for their sins. <BR>Father, help us to focus on our responsibilities with a cheerful heart and give us the energy and enthusiasm to realize all of our blessings when we are blinded by hurt and frustration. <BR>Most of all Father, please open the spiritual eyes and hearts of the h's of these sisters in that they will see the beautiful wives they have been blessed to have. Guide us to always follow your path in trust and faith as is your will. IJN, Amen<P>That really felt good. I am so happy to have been led here, I know it was an answer to my prayers. Thank you so much for sharing all of your miracles of hope and may Heavenly Father continue to bless us all. IJN

Growing up,<BR>did this backwards. I posted to you on the other thread. I remember the first time I had to pray out loud, I felt like I stumbled so, but the Spirit lead me faithfully. Your prayer was beautiful. Thank You Father for sending growing up to our midst.<BR>Growing up these affairs are just so painful. It amazes me that those that say they love us, abuse us so. But God is inded faithful. You'll see on other recent threads that AW and I happened upon the same sight yeasterday. Rejoice ministries I think. AW put the link to it in Charlene's devotional. It is great. I did a search and found a fiction book that they have written called Pulpits in the Marketplace. I was reading all that they had of it on line and it gave me such renewed hope in this whole mess. I cried all day as well, a good cathexes.<BR> Hope you have a blessed day and again welcome.

bringing this to the top for delivered and anyone else new that has joined us. Tell us how we can pray for you!

To the top for tonight, June 6!

Updated: 8/4/00<P>I'm 44, and H is 40. We've been married 10 years as of August 11th. <P>3 Children from my first marriage - 2 boys 26 and 23, and one girl 20. He has 2 girls from first marriage, 20 and the youngest turned 17 today. Together we have a son, age 7.<P>Much of our marriage includes baggage from our previous relationships - my X husband started a custody case which resulted in boys living with father and OW, and daughter staying with me. H's divorce was not final when we met, and we were married 2 weeks after the divorce was final. I was not OW, but in hindsight - the brevity of our relationship after his marriage breakup was and still is very difficult.<P>I thought I married a Christian, and after 2 separations I became spirit filled and my husband rebelled from our entire life. The final separation resulted in a move from CA to MN - to live around non-Christian family - who wanted our marriage to end. <P>I suspected he had an affair (and still not sure there was only one) - and he finally disclosed he had an "almost mistake" when she spent the night while we were separated. I suspect it was far deeper than this. She lives around the corner - and used to live across the street with her mother who still lives there.<P>X-wife and H began having lots of telephone contact behind my back, and she recently moved to MN from CA and lives 4 doors down. My husband had 10 affairs while married to his first wife, and all of these women the family are in contact with, and we run into many of them through the years.<P>I have suffered emotional, financial and physical abuse from my husband, but I know that God hates divorce - and I believe God will change my husband to a Godly man. <P>We recently have began making plans for our future, we bought a lake house (praise the Lord) and my husband is having conflicting feelings about this. (As of 8/4/00 - he is still wavering... plan to sign final papers this weekend.) <P>My husband feels incredibly guilty for divorcing his first wife, - he says the guilt is a result of losing his children. His children are incredibly munipulative and also have not been taught much in the way of morals, and notoriously tried to become a wedge between my husband and I. <P>We are on the way towards the marriage that the Lord desires for us, and God is busy laying framework to give me a Godly husband. AND, God is showing me how to have boundaries, and maintain a marriage.<P>Our future next door neighbors are a pastor and his wife is a psychology professor who has been sort of mentoring me. I see the Lord fulfilling His promises, and I know "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to his purposes." <P>My prayer is that the Lord would heal our marriage, and that my husband would be the Godly man that I so desire, and help me identify and remove the logs that are in my own eyes. I also thank the Lord for his constant love, attention and work behind the scenes, and I pray that the Lord will be the most important piece of our marriage. I pray for our 7 year old that the Lord would be close to him, and keep his heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I also pray for all our children that they would know Jesus in a deeper way.<P>In Jesus Name, I pray.<BR>Amen<p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited August 04, 2000).]

I thought I gave a background, but don't see my name here, so here goes:<P>*I'm 43, H is 41. <BR>*Married 11+ years, no kids. <BR>*Both Christians. <BR>*H is an Optic Engineer at a telescope. I am a Graphic Designer at a small, health related company.<BR>*H was/is an alcoholic, but been sober for 13+ years. <BR>*H started being "uphappy," moody about 2 years ago....chalked it up to job, and not being real happy with our relationship (but no details, except our on-going sexual "problems").<BR>*I suggested counseling, but he wouldn't.<BR>*Febuary 99: H's Mom and Aunt came for a month visit...he and his Mom had a big blow up (he's an only child). Mom took him out of her will. He was really hurt and just got more withdrawn, unhappy. Wouldn't really talk about it.<BR>*July 99: He came home from a drive with the dogs totally drunk....I've never seen him drink or drunk before in my life. We talked and he was very unhappy, but wouldn't really do anything about it.<BR>*August 99 (at my family reunion in Idaho): H was totally withdrawn from my family and said he doesn't know if he wants to be married anymore.<BR>*When we got back home, I wanted to go to counseling, work on it. He said he was just being moody and didn't want to go to counseling.<BR>*October 99 (on our anniversary): I found e-mails from/to a co-worker of a "flirting" nature. I confronted him...he said it was dumb and that she was just a good friend and that he would stop.<BR>*November 99: He went to her house and spent a day with her. Lied to me, but I had a gut feeling. Found e-mails on the computer about getting together, how much he loves her, she loves him, etc. I confronted him and he said he wants a divorce...doesn't want to be married to me...wants to go his own way.<BR>*H moved out in January to his own apt., but spend most days/nights with OW. Has no desire to come back home, work on the relationship, etc.<BR>*All our finances, etc. are still joint. He just doesn't live with me.<BR>*I want to get back together and work on the relationship/marriage, but am beginning to feel numb about it all and about him. I have no feelings one way of the other about him right now.<BR>*I'm just going on with my life, and waiting.<BR>I'm in Plan A, but in reality, my H has pulled a Plan B on me....he never calls or sees me.<P>I guess that's about it. I do see how I wasn't meeting his needs (sexual mostly) during the marriage and have apologized and asked for forgiveness. <P>Thanks!<BR>Mrs.O<p>[This message has been edited by Mrs.O (edited June 06, 2000).]

Dear Sue B,<BR>You referred to husband's desire to try things sexually that are painful for you.<BR>Does this mean anal sex? Don't want to embarress you, and Sorry if it's a personal question, but I think I have a good reason for asking and might know how to eliminate the pain. <P>

Ok, here's my update:<P>David came home last night. I was so GLAD to see him, he seemed happy to be home. Nothing changed other than he's back. Oh, I did sleep all night for once!<P>Prayer Request: Pray that David is drawn to the Lord, he hungers for the Word, the Holy Spirit woos him, a thick hedge of thorns placed around him so that the enemy cannot attack, Pray that he goes back to church with me, and that he is unable to drink alcohol. Pray that he goes to the court ordered batterers intervention counseling. Pray that the Lord molds, changes me into the kind of wife He wants me to be, that I am filled with the Holy Spirit, and that the Lord loves David through me. <P>Thanks y'all. I'm looking forward to our cyber-tea and prayer time tonight!!!<P>AW

Ooops! Forgot to add my prayer request...<P>I kinda already mentioned it in this post....<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum25/HTML/000501.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum25/HTML/000501.html</A> <P>But basically pray that my H and I will BOTH desire to restore the marriage. I was really crying last night, mostly because of my H's soul...I just prayed God's grace on him. <P>I miss him, but am also feeling numb towards him...no good feelings, no bad feelings....like he's just a stranger or something. We just seem soooooo far from each other in how we look at things.<P>Thanks!<BR>Mrs.O<P>

I am 29 years old and so is my h. We meet in collage and dated for about 2 years and broke up. I was so broken hearted. I turned to alchol and sex to ease the pain. I was still involved with him sexual. I got preg. and had doubts who the father was. I was pretty sure it was my h, but not 100%. I never told him of the doubt. A few years later we got married. We have been married for almost 3 years, and are daughter is 7 years old. About a year ago my h told me he has always had doubts that our daughter was his. I told the truth about my doubts too. He said he still loved me and would always be her daddy regardless of dna. So another year went by and all was well until last month he brougth it up again and this time he want a dna test. He is hurt and angry with me. The last month has been hell. I pray everyday for God to restore are marriage and that my h is able to forgive me. We have'nt got there yet. He says I have no right to question his coming and goings. I feel that since I messed up he feels he has the right to do whatever he wants. I am the only one right now who is trying to save our marriage. He says he still loves me. Well thats my story. God forgave me so I pray that he will to someday. <P> <P>------------------<BR><BR>vanessa

I pray for my marriage to be restore. I also pray for my wife heart to soften towards me.

I am new to this, but really want to be a part of this Bible Study. Please tell me what I need to do. For the first time ever, I feel like I'm not alone. Right now in my life I am considering divorce. I have two children(3,4), who love their father, but who need a good Christian role model which he is not. I'm really worried about how they are going to turn out. I love God, but I feel like I am being spiritually torn apart. I need help. My H has so much emotional baggage from his childhoood that it is tearing our family apart. He is very angry and emotionally abusive. I don't even like him right now. He really needs the Lord. That's the bottom line. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by used2Bcozy:<BR><B>Since we havn't done a background story on all of us since we started this in November, and there are so many new names joining us, I thought that getting some background along with our updates would make us feel more connected... I myself have to admit I loose track of where we came from and where we are!<P>So, here's mine...<P>Hi, Im Cozy, 43, mom of 6 ages from 1 to 26, H (he's only 30) and I have been married 10 years<BR>Our children from this marriage are 1, 7 and 9 years old, all girls<BR>Affair has lasted 5 years (3 other brief before this one)<BR>OW is 31 and OC was 1 in January a boy<BR>Discovery was about 2 years ago<BR>Separated at this point in time<BR>H is spending alot of time with me, OW is tired of it and I believe is soon to be out of the picture, wants to attend church and be right with God, H has to go across the border if he wants to see OC at this point, and I'm praying for major changes in H before God allows H to come home this time.<P>Yup, I want him home, I still have hope, but it is no longer in H, but in my Lord to change my H as He said.."I will perfect the work I began in you"!<P>My prayer was so effective last time that I am just going to adjust it to keep working for me.. <P><BR>I pray for my husbands repentance, that he would finally come to the end of himself in such a way that his pride would no longer keep him validating his infidelity, I pray that a Godly christian man would befriend my husband and begin to desciple in such a way that my husband once again walks in a fashion worthly of being a child of God. I also petition the Lord for a job for my husband so that H can begin to contribute to this family for the first time, and that the panic/anxiety attacks which have given H excuses for this incorrect behavior would come to an end..... I also pray that a continueing widening wedge of discord is pressed in between the ow and my husband, that all conversations and contact have a negative response between them, that the ow would find somewhere else (a single Christian man) to get her needs met and realize (unto repentance and salvation) what she has done. That the oc would somehow come to know Jesus as his savior down the path of his life and that he always has a male christian mentor in his life... That I can continue having Christs unconditional, unending love for my husband and that his heart is ever pulled back towards his wife and family to such a point that he cannot stand being away.. For me I also can maintain a sound mind, and that I see healing in all of the physical problems that seem to be ongoing and everchanging, that God would give me an abundant amount of energy and enthusiasm and not grow weary of doing what is good in my marriage, my family, my homeschooling and my job, that my children are protected from any negative problems because of this mess... Thank you Lord for listening to my prayer and petition, and I praise and thank you in advance for the wonderous answers that I will see.. In My precious Lord and Savior Jesus name.. AMEN<P>NEW UPDATE</B> my husband is in BC with OW and has been for about 4 weeks, he claims he has found forgivness, but I havn't seen any fruit of the repentance or confession, as he is still sitting in OW's home claiming he has no where to go....... No, I wont take him back for a 10th time 'on his word' I will set the following boundaries and watch to see committment, consistancy and devotion for an amount of time before I accept a start at reconciliation..... <P>1.Right with God.. find a good fellowship and stick with it...<P>2.Get a job and be independant.. I need to see that I would have a contributing husband and not a needy child.....<P>3.OW must have a finalization in his life with a 'no contact' situation fully in place and stick with it.....<P>Dear Jesus, please help me be firm in my boundaries, yet be clear in my desire for our marriage to once again soon start through reconciliation, growth, and renewing love. Lord let me have Your wisdom in this in order that I may communicate in love and know beyond all doubts when the time is right down the road to start rebuilding...... Jesus let this be a time of healing, and restoring during our time apart, for this family, my children and myself, and dear Lord restore my husband Jason to a rightness with you.. Let the OW come to an end of her desire for my husband and finalize things on her side once and for all........ I thank you for caring and the answer to our prayers...... IJN Amen.<P><I>thanks karenna for bringing this up again! Everyone edit/update and join in for tonights prayer time....</I><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

cst, welcome. We re going through the book Power of a Praying Wife and using the study guide with the same name. You can find them at your book store or order them through Amazon.com.<P>You will see the threads for each chapter and as we just started Chapter 2, you can easily catch up, but do't skip chapter one because that is the most important chapter of all!

Hi cst.... WELCOME! please post often so that we get to know you, and you will find good councel and much prayer support in this group of 'sisters in the Lord'.<P>Let us know how we can pray specifically, as we try to unite in prayer tues nights....<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

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