This is a notice that I received through a mail list this morning. Please take just a minute to read it and forward it on to every Christian you know. It's things like this that allow us the opportunity to stand as a witness for Christ. Wishing each of you a Happy Easter, because we know that it truly is!<P>ABC will be airing "THE MIRACLE MAKER", a claymation of the life of Christ on Resurrection Sunday (Easter) evening between 7pm and 9pm EST. It is Biblically accurate (except for a couple of minor chronological events) and is well presented according to the Dallas people who reviewed it. They say it is the first presentation as a man that you would (as Peter puts it) you would want to go fishing with. The death and resurrection is extremely well presented especially the crucifixion. Typically ABC airs the Ten Commandments in this slot.<P>ABC is experimenting with Christian programming. They are NOT promoting it <BR>- not spending $1.00 on advertising it. The idea is to see what the viewing will be. This will determine if the "Christian" block is real or not! So even if you aren't going to be home - turn it on!<P>List the sponsors and write to them. Tell them how much you appreciate their sponsoring the show and if possible support their product in the next couple of weeks. Word (KWRD 94.9fm) Radio, Dallas broke the story on April 12. We need to get the word out to as many as possible. Lets show them how we can rally around something good.<P><P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

This looks really good. Thanks for sharing it with us. How are you doing?

Thanks for asking HW. Up and down. I've been reading POPW every night. I used to pray for H a lot. Haven't even thought to do it for the last several months. Maybe that was a big part of my troubles. I am in the process of repenting.<P>We had a fight the other night. And "we" don't fight. He rants and rages. This is the first time in years I have involved myself emotionally at all. I just posted it on the "IN RECOVERY" forum. Taking it as a good sign. <P>This is really hard. I still remember all the caring and acceptance I got from the OM. No longer "In Love," no longer in withdrawal from the addiction, but still empty. Nothing has come to replace the hole in my heart where a lover should dwell.<P>I am going to fly across the country next weekend to see my daughter who just returned from Italy. She can't get out to see me before July. Just too long to wait. With all my wonderful children, family and friends, not to mention the comfort and love of my Saviour, why do I still want more? I am just selfish. Or hormonal. At least I'm not morning sick. But if I were would I have the energy to feel love-starved?

I watched the Miracle Maker tonight, thought it was excellent. I plan to send ABC a complimentary note, as well as the advertisers. I wish there was more programming like this on TV. <P>blessings,<BR>AW

I am so glad you got to watch it. I really wanted to see it too. <P>This morning H got up and started moving furniture. By the time I had my shower he had a jackhammer going in the kitchen ripping up floor tiles. He started the remodel on Easter morning without telling me. TV is disconnected. We will be cooking and eating on the patio for the next two months using the barbecue grill and paper plates. <P>This evening he picked a wowser of a fight. The presenting issue was that he feels it is unfair for me to want him to treat me with kindness, because that is just the kind of person he is and that is that; and he expects and wants sex three times a day no matter what he does to me. He says we are too far apart. Again, the only thing he can think to say when he is uncomfortable is, "I am getting a divorce." <P>It got really bad because I held his feet to the fire. I also got emotional. He cooled off and did not meet a sympathetic understanding loving ear for the first time. He then ragged on me for being different from him. I am into education, knowledge, social interaction, justice, God and such. He is into himself and money. Nothing, literally, is about anything other than himself. No theory, ideal or philosophy exists other than "what I want/need" and serve me. There is no world of ideas any longer. He will not relate to the world around him. He admits that he will not recognize my feelings as significant in any way or respect me as an individual when it comes to our relationship. Not only does he not have a great IQ, but his interpersonal skills are in the cellar!<P>He then asked for just a temporary separation, but rather than being a man and moving out he is trying to sleep in the living room (which is piled with all the furniture from the family room, dining room and kitchen) until further notice. <P>He is a bad joke. Since he reneged on the divorce papers again I <B>really</B> want to file them myself. He uses it as his only bargaining chip, every want of his must be a necessary war. I told him how he could raise the ante if his divorce threats seemed ineffective by threatening suicide or murder. (SueB, where are you, I need help!!!<P>Ultimately it comes down to this, I told him last time that I would not tolerate his threats of that sort. Next time, I told him, it had better be for real because I will make it real if he won't. Here we are.<P>He needs counseling and I will not "take him back" without it. Don't think he believes me that I really mean it. We agreed to finish the remodeling and sell the house. I will have to go through bankruptcy if I both get divorced and have a baby. Just don't know why I am <B>PREGNANT</B>. Whose lesson is this?<P>This praying for him certainly has made changes, hasn't it?!!! I will continue to pray for him. The book is wonderful, I just wish the man looked like he was worth the effort. I do see him as a child of God who is making some progress. But, everything is going south at lightspeed.<P>Too much is enough. I think the boundary has been crossed. I am all cried out. <P>Hope your Easter observances were better than mine. At least we had a marvelous service in church. I love singing praises in the choir! <P>Love and prayers for all,<P>K<p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited April 24, 2000).]

I am here Karenna.<P>First time read through thoughts-<P>You are reading the book and praying for this man, Satan doesn't like that-<P>You are setting limits on how you want to be treated by hubby- He doesn't like that so he raises cain so that you will tire and change back-Satan likes that.<P>Hubby gets a reaction from you when he threatens divorce- Satan likes that!<P>Hubby is using passive-aggressive behavior rather than dealing with his feelings directly by jack hammering the kitchen before you get up and can have any input or objections. Furniture is all moved and the house is in chaos, tv conveniently turned off so you can't watch the Easter special- Satan likes chaos.<P>All of the events, the arguments, the pregnancy, etc. are tiring you out and causing the seed of doubt to grow into a weed of resentment whose flower blossoms into full blown bitterness. Being vulnerable to hurt is covered by anger to keep fear in line. You feel attacked on all sides, the walls are closing in and you are feeling a bit claustophobic. You wonder what the heck the Lord is doing and sometimes even wonder where He is in the midst of all this. Satan loves that!<P>Okay, how did I do? How close did I get?<P>I can only share how I do it Kareena and hopefully you can glean from it some things that may help you.<P>1. I made a committment to do this bible study and have been convicted by the scriptures that I do have the authority over all power of evil. <P>2. As such, the first chapter challenges me to make changes in myself. <P>(I can think of a 1000 ways my husband needs to change and I have a password protected document that when those thoughts come up,I write them down and save them.)<P>I have a second document that I write down those things I need to change in myself and it is this document that I try to stay in more than anything else. <P>In this document, I identify the goals for my marriage and I try to be very specific and concrete in the goals. These goals are formed from what I read in scripture of what a marriage is supposed to be, from what 1 Cor 13 says love is, from the example Proverbs 31 gives in what an excellent wife would do, etc.<P>Do you have a bible prgram on CD? One that has a concordance where you can type in a word and it will show you all the scriptures related to the word in it? If you can get one, do it, if the finances are such that you can't write me your address in an email and I will send you the extra one I have here.<P>The focus Karenna, is to change ourselves into the woman that God wants us to be by the truth of the Word, not someone else's interpretations. My understanding is that God allows circumstances in our lives that we may grow into His likeness and develop His characteristics into our life as we seek His face and wisdom. <P>I take those verses that I wrote out somewhere in this forum about who I am in Christ, (Cozy, where are they?)Phillipians 4:8 says to think about the things that are true. These verses are the things that are true to those of us who have asked Christ into our lives to be our Savior. I printed them out so that I see them often! It is the process of girding myself for warfare because the evil one doesn't like losing and things get worse before it gets better. <P>On my puter I have taped Isaiah 41:10- "Do not fear, for I am with you, do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, surely I will help you!" I have a quote that one of the folks here had as their signature-"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." I have the list from Tommy Nelson about the 12 things not to do when communicating with your spouse and the 7 ways to listen to your spouse to remind me not to love bust and to keep with the goal, particularly when one of my goals is to speak to the issue and to be honest and honoring of my husband even when he is being a jerk. (Remember, I am only working on changing me, God will take care of him...in His time)<P>As you write out your goals for changing yourself, then you have to focus on what your behavior would look like if you accomplished that goal. For me, boundaries is a big one. Change is made by taking one step at a time, so I need to know what those steps would look like. I desire to speak to the truth in line with scripture, so...<P>LOVE says that it is kind and not rude; Proverbs 31 says I do good and not harm to my husband (it is not good to live a lie or to allow a lie to remain just so you have peace in the house, it is not honoring to him)That means I have to speak up in an honoring way and set my boundary to my husband. example: "I want to hear what you have to say honey, but I will not remain in the room if you continue to yell at me." It means that if he continues to yell, I leave the room after telling him that I will come back after he has calmed down because I do want to hear what he has to say. <P>It means that if I blow it and stomp out of the room or I catch myself responding to his yelling by yelling, that I immediately turn around and apologize, saying, " I wasn't honoring to you when I yelled just then, I apologize for that, please forgive me. I do want to restate though that I will not remain in the room when you are yelling at me because that takes away from me really hearing what you have to say and I do want to hear what you have to say. I am going to take 10 minutes and try and calm down and then I will be back. Will you be able to tell me what you are trying to say without yelling by then or do you need more time?"<P>He may say yes, he may say no...if he says no, the you say, "okay, then please let me know when you will be able to do that because I do want to hear what you have to say"...and you let it go. Result is you are honoring both yourself and him.<P>Tommy Nelson says that his wife will calmly say to him, "Honey, is that kind?" and it smacks him upside the head, but he is a pastor, so he may be more in tune with the Spirit than our husbands.<P>Each chapter in this study Karenna keeps bringing me back to myself. How am I honoring, how am I encouraging, how am I praying specifically for my husband. What do I believe, is God trustworthy and am I praising Him and trusting Him for the changes that need to be made both in me and in my husband? Am I acknowledging and affirming any small changes that I see and letting my husband know how much that meant to me. <P>(Now you all may laugh, but my husband helped cut up potatoes after I peeled them and helped get the dinner ready to go into the oven AND helped pick up the house yesterday for our dinner guests and subsequent bible study. And he set up the VCR to record the Miracle Maker while our study was going on. This is a miracle ladies! For the most part, he is still rude, crude and demanding nude, but that part is God's job, mine is to make those changes in me and to praise God for the way He is going to heal our marriage.)<P>Are you a reader Karenna? Go to the library and get Hind's feet in High Places. As you read it, think about Much Afraid and the journey the shepherd has her on. Though it is a whimsical fiction, there is so much truth in it. Since we travel a lot with our girls when we get them, we use audio books in the car. I bought this in audio version and the girls love it. As God's truths pour out, I can only smile as my husband squirms or tries to sleep while I am driving, knowing that God honors my prayers to teach him while he sleeps.<P>The trick is the goal Karenna. Keep your eye on the goal. I continually claim this verse: 2TI 1:12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.<P>So now that you have read this, groan, cry, pour your heart to the Lord. Let the Spirit intercede for you and in the process of relinguishing your husband to His Lordship, let Him comfort you.<P>Father, see Your daughter Karenna and hear her cries. Be her strength while she walks in the valleys. Give her clear insight as to what You would have her change so that she honors You as she honors her husband, even when he is not honoring her. Show her how to set boundaries give her calmness and peace to be able to state these in a firm respectful way. Help her not to respond in the same way as her husband in defense of his attacks but give her Your confidence that she is worthy of greater treatment as Your daughter and does not need to resort to his wicked ways. Let this marriage be glorified as You work in their lives. IJN, Amen.

Sue, thank you so much for this testimony. I ahd a temporary melt down. My 16 year old did not come home last night. She walked in about 20 minutes ago. She claims to have fallen asleep in the couch where she had been watching tv. I had 20 minutes sleep and I was trying to write a paper all night. I kept going back to trusting God, but the tears came out. I know He is in control and He has been so gentle with my daughter. He has allowed circumstances to occurr to get her where she is (at a Christian boarding school) most of the time. She was home for the Easter weekend. <BR>The good note is my h is in CA visiting his momwith the little one. When I got on line last night I noticed someone out there was on-line. I forgot his mom has aol also. im'd him and we conversed for quite a bit. I got an invitation for a date next weekend. Nothing specific but hey let's hang out for a while. Sounds good to me. We got talking about a lot of stuff. Still I wondered if he was iming the ow at the same time. I just have to give it to God, though. He says he is still feeling positive about us! <BR>So thank you again Sue<BR>Karenna, Sue is right, Satan loves chaos. I did watch part of the miracle worker and taped it I hope. It was excellent. I couldn't believe how accurate the words and events were. They may not have happened in the same sequence but it didn't interfere with the truth, the word or the message.<P>I lost sight of Jesus thru the night when my daughter didn't come home. I kept saying I trust You, but I also cried and had visions of seeing her in a morgue. God is great though, I didn't dispair. I think I was tired and stressed trying to write this paper. I'm going to my field placement late anyways today. I only got one paper written this weekend, so there won't be much sleep between today and next thursday when I turn in the final paper. But a date this weekend, should help.<BR>Karenna, I know God has a plan for you and a purpose for that baby. Keep your eyes on Him.I should talk. In taking the plank out of my own eye, I will say differently. Let us both keep our eyes on Jesus. That is the only truth of any situation. If you look at the situation from Jesus eyes we realize that He has it all.<P>Father,<BR>I lift Karenna up to you. You do have a plan and a purpose for all she is going through. She cannot see that yet, but it is an opportunity to trust You. You are worthy of our truat and praise. Father, give her peace in the chaos. Help her to keep her eyes on You. Touch her heart and show her more of You. Keep her safe as she travels next wekend to see her daughter. Lord, reach down and grab her husband and reveal Yourself to him in such a way that he sees You. Lord, thank you for the changes that are occuring. Give us patience to see them through. It can only be perfect when You have taken each of us through the entire journey. Help us to recognize it is a process with forwrd and backward steps. But increase our faith and hope in You and help us to come to know you in such a powerful way. In Jesus name, Amen.

I did get to watch The Miracle Maker last night and loved it! I also wanted to let you guys know that in May there is going to be a show called "Jesus" on. I think it's going to be a mini-series. As soon as I find out when exactly it's going to be on I'll post it. <P>Prayers,<P>Mitzi

HW, <BR>When my daughter was 16, she got involved with a wrong crowd, including a 19 year old who was physically abusive to her, pushed drugs, etc. She would take off and not come home. I would scour the streets at 4 AM looking for her, got no support from the local police and prayed for a hedge of protection for her at the same time. I kept praying, "You said..." and would quote a scripture, and another and another, until I finally felt his peace and could sleep. As we both look back now, we know He protected her and as she recommitted her life to Him two years ago, He kept His promise that she would turn back to Him.<P>I lost a grandchild due to an abortion without my consent, but I know that my grandson is truly a gift that began her healing process. She is an alcoholic and as my youngest adopted child has FAS/FAE, she knew what could happen to her baby if she continued to drink and use drugs. She stopped drinking and smoking and using drugs through her pregnancy. She broke off the dysfunctional relationship she was in. She has slipped a few times and landed a couple of days in jail and I let her sit there. I know that I often wondered why God moved me 3000 miles away from her and my grandson, but I know that she had to grow up or lose my grandson, that she had to make some positive choices for her life. <P>Since recommitting her life to Christ, she has gotten a good job and is blooming in her career. For every bad thing that has happened regarding housing etc. God has opened a door and given her bigger and better than she could ever imagine. God has healed our relationship in such a way that when she came out here 18 months ago, God showed her a trust and peace that I have with Him that she came away changed and her friends noticed the difference.<P>She now has a young man in her life and he is a christian. I do not know if He is the one that I have been praying for, but I do know that God has such a plan for my daughter and I am excited for her. If my difficulties and the growth I experience through adversity is an example for her or anyone else, then it is for His glory and I am honored to be used. I was thinking of that in your case too, how God is changing you and your husband, how His truth is coming forward, etc. His plan for your marriage will prevail.<P>Father, I praise You for the experiences we go through knowing that Your plan for our growth and maturity in You will come about in spite of how we respond. I also thank You for the increased awareness of Your hand in our lives and for the insight and blessings of each lesson we learn as we change ourselves for Your glory. Father, continue to give HW Your wisdom as she communicates to her husband and her daughter. Increase her peace as she trusts You for the outcomes. Protect her daughter during this time and provide postive people around her to support her as she struggles with being a teenager. In all we give You the glory! IJN, Amen.

SueB, I loved your response. Thank you so much for posting. Much of it spoke to my heart as well. Great suggestions on how to handle H when they are irate. I'm going to make the lists of things I need to change, and the list of things I want H to change too. Maybe that will help me express them, and get it out of my system, so that I can completely turn those changes over to God. Thank you so much, and I apologize for butting in on Karenna's thread.<P>Karenna, SueB and HW have great thoughts, I don't think there is anything I can add, except that I'm thinking of you and praying for you too. Going to see your daughter will be great. Sometimes you just have to get away to think things through.<P>hw - I am so sorry to hear about the anguish your daughter has been putting you through. If it helps any, I had gone through pretty much the same thing with my daughter, except that she didn't come home. When she was 17, she got involved with some really bad influences, and decided she didn't want to be around me or my H anymore. She and H have never gotten along (she is his step-daughter) and things have always been strained to say the least. <P>Anyway, I was devastated, looked for her for days. I knew she was gone for good because she left a note saying she wanted to leave and be on her own. After about a year, her head started to clear, we started to talk and spend time together. She is now 24, doing quite well on her own, still going to college at night, and is still the light of my life. I cherish her and consider her my closest friend. So, there is hope. <BR>

I thought this quote was interesting (from Charlyne Cares) "Wait for His power before you do anything in your own strength! See what the Lord can do through you! Have a blessed week and seek His face!"<P>Praise God, he is so good to us.<BR>