Hi Pah With all this action going on, people at my job were very concerned. I simply prayed and left it with God. How did you know I got a midwife? Anyway, I pray things are better with you and job outlook. Don't forget the meditating- what have you read today or did you get to that point yet? I am praying with you all.

Hi Ymon,<P>I thought you wrote that you were using a midwife. I am so happy that you are doing well. It is nice to have a happy event to focus on instead of this sad days ahead.<P>I still have not found anything. I have not even gotten any phone calls. Tomorrow I am going to call a few places that I would love to work and see if I can line up an interview. I need to start working soon. I am starting to climb the walls in bordom. <P>How are you and the baby doing?

((((((paha)))))<BR>sending prayers and positive energy your way paha.<BR>aloha, cl

Hello sorry to have taken so long to get back. The WTC and everything else going on, I have been in prayer and meditation. <BR>Pah, have you considered a nice temp agency? And I receive job offers every week for my city from Monster.com. Just make your resume with their wizard, and a job agent, and it emails leads - good leads to you when you choose. <P>Don't forget your scripture and reading. You still didn't tell me what you read today! <P>I can hardly believe 2001 is nearly over! Who's ready for Thanksgiving?? Just checking in with all. I missed you and am praying with you today. (((LOL)))

Sheryl<BR>My boys were sexually abused as children as well. They are now in their 20's. It was their Uncle. Their father & Grandmother knew it was going on, but did nothing, and did everything to hide it from me. It is a helpless feeling when it happens to our children, we feel the guilt - but, yet we are not the ones responsible. We let our children be where we thought they would be safe. I never would have thought that it would happened to my boys at their own Grandmother's, and that their father would shove it under the rug. That is just as bad of a crime as what happened to your son. My boys still have a relationship with their father and his family - but the uncle is history. The entire family hasn't seen from him for at least 20 years now. Maybe that is good. Heard the uncle had a wife once, she got aids and so did his son. Hope he didn't infect any other kids. Dirt - bag. <P>Even though it happend at church, it doesn't mean your son should hate God. He needs to learn to separate God from what happened. I had to somehow learn to separate what happened to my boys by their Uncle from their ability to continue having a relationship with their Grandmother and their father. It hasn't happened since this was exposed.<P>Paha- I think that Y had a great idea with a temporary agency! that makes super good sense. It will at least get you out of the house, and help you start making contacts. If a temp. agency won't work, have you thought of some serious volunteer work 5-15 hours a week? Do you think the change will help?<P>Prayers for Sheryl, Sheryl's son and Paha!<P>My job situation... It isn't going well, I need to get alternative employment or something. Had a meeting with the VP today, and he let me know he isn't interested in keeping me. He is definitely angry with me for talking to my DC contact and for talking to a faculty member. It is a mess. <BR>Anyways, can you keep this in your prayers also?<P>Thanks,<BR>TnT

Oh TnT,<P>My son is having a horrible time, and my ex is feeling hopeless to do anything for him, and hopeless FOR HIM, and I am having horrible guilt about all of it, of course, as is my "blueprint"... this must change.<P>The abuse happened to two of my three children, when they were little kids. The family involved were the organist and the asst. choir director at church. David and I were blind to the truth -- even when, at the end of the friendship, our daughter threw up every time we went over (which was EVERY Sunday for two years).<P>Life is an interesting journey. I hate that 20/20 analogy, but it is so true. How I wish we'd seen the truth when it was happening. Now I have a son who's so socially retarted that he cannot make it through a day of school (and will return to Hospital Home Care this week) and a daughter who can't hold a job, has a chip on her shoulder the size of a grapefruit, drinks coffee and smokes all day, and wonders why she's unhappy. <P>Funny thing, the other daughter, the one who wasn't abused. Totally with it, totally responsible, working, living her life happily...<P>I'm happy for her, but so sad for the other two. And my ex... well... another story all together... <P>As far as me, well... immigration at a standstill as I await the fingerprint results from CA. I got the FBI ones -- I don't have a criminal record -- yaaa hooo!!! We are going deeper and deeper into debt. We lost money on an airline ticket I was suppose to use this week ($350 American), which also means, of course, that I didn't get to see my kids as I thought , and everything is in flux.<P>Yes, pray, please...<P>And I will pray for your situation too. That just sux about what the VP said to you. Politics, esp in education... sheesh.

Sheryl,<BR>My oldest son, one of the sexual victims, for a period of time was socially retarded too. It didn't surface during the sexual abuse, or right after, either. It was after I moved 80 miles away, and the kids had to change schools. He couldn't make it through one day of school, either. I talked to the school counselor about it, and my pastor. I sat in the school parking lot every day. He would go to school, but he had a safe retreat to go to if he thought he couldn't handle it. The counselor gave him music classes instead of PE. (He turned out to be a great sax player, and now is a great piano player too!) It was a hard time, but somehow he got through it. I will pray that your son gets through this also, because I know that God can heal all wounds, even the deepest and oldest ones. In fact, that is His specialty! I will keep him in my prayers. I promise.<P>I hear about the airline bailouts, and all; I didn't realize the passengers who were holding airline tickets were not reimbursed - or given a credit so they could trade in their tickets for another travel date. What a mess!<P>I remember when I was working with the refugees - it was their family members that were either left behind or missing that hurt them so bad. It was sooo hard. They had to allow $ in their budget to pay for telephone calls or to send to their family members back home. It was so hard for them. <P>For you, it is even harder. They HAD to accept that they were separated from their family, and were essentially helpless to change that. For you, I think you might be feeling guilty because you think you CHOSE to move to Canada - to be away from your children because of your new marriage. You are in a tougher situation.<P>I moved to MN away from my older boys - I felt soooo guilty, especially when they had problems. I did it for my marriage. I didn't really want to, but I felt I was supposed to - but I couldn't explain it. I just didn't want my family divided because of miles.<P>I put my faith in God, and I said "Lord, you know how I feel." He showed me a Bible verse in Collosions - where it says "Put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." I went to Ben Franklins - got an exacto knife and cut out a stencil and put the Bible verse as a border in my kitchen. Then I began to claim the promise that if I put on love, then (my family) would have the perfect bond of unity. I am still standing on that promise in the Bible, and holding God accountable. <P>5 years ago, my boys REFUSED to come to MN, even for a visit. Now, they say, if they could have a job that paid halfway decent, they'd move here. I KNOW God is going to give me a united family. <P>Instead of feeling guilty, I am going to have faith, which gives me hope - then substance - and then action. I know that the Lord will bring my family together, in HIS time. I can wait. I trust God.<P>Sheryl, I pray that your helplessness is turned to hope. And I will keep praying for your son! I know God, He will intervene - but, my experience with the Lord is that He wants everyone to know it was HIM that intervened, when an unbeliever is involved - like your son. God will miraculously intervene - with the healing of your son.<P>God Bless You<BR>TnT

First, an apology to <B>Paha</B> for the highjack (I hate using that term ), and if you'd like me to move this discussion that somehow became about me (that's so ME though, isn't it? ) I will be happy to begin my own thread.<P>However, I know you are praying too, so I bet you're interested as well... so onward I go...<P><B>TnT</B>,<P>You write my feelings exactly. <P>I **know** in my heart that there is hope for my son. I know that God has watched out for him since the beginning, because he wasn't breathing when he was born ~ and yet, he survived, and I fell in love with him. It may seem strange, but when he was born, I was afraid of him. He went to intensive care, and I thought he could die. I was afraid to love him, lest I lose him. Does that make sense?<P>Yes, God has been there all along, even through the abuse. The problem has been, I believe, a failure on my part to continue to GIVE UP my children TO GOD. I prayed for a long time, and then had this hellish experience with the Baptist church (long story, you may or may not remember, but I won't bore you with it regardless. We ALL turned from God during that time, even David.) All have turned back, but my son. I really think it's his disabilities that hold him back most now. How could God let him suffer so?<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trustntruth:<BR><B>I hear about the airline bailouts, and all; I didn't realize the passengers who were holding airline tickets were not reimbursed - or given a credit so they could trade in their tickets for another travel date. What a mess!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I know. You would think they would realize most people (what is it, like 90%?) won't get on a plane right now. In the meantime, we lose money, and a trip to see the fam, and another chance. In truth, they did say I could go if it's within three months. They'll honor my ticket until then. I don't want to go across the country in a plane now, or in the near future. Maybe next year -- maybe. It's very hard for me, because again, it's not **MY** money I am making a decision with -- it's my H's. Yes, what's his is mine and mine is his, but I'm not able to work, and he's got so much on his plate already... sigh... ... you know me, I just feel bad about that on top of everything else.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B> For you, I think you might be feeling guilty because you think you CHOSE to move to Canada - to be away from your children because of your new marriage. You are in a tougher situation.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Yes, I *chose* this, and I still can't believe it on some days. I don't know how I might have avoided this guilt. I wish I had an answer now, because I don't like living this way. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I put my faith in God, and I said "Lord, you know how I feel." He showed me a Bible verse in Collosions - where it says "Put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." I went to Ben Franklins - got an exacto knife and cut out a stencil and put the Bible verse as a border in my kitchen. Then I began to claim the promise that if I put on love, then (my family) would have the perfect bond of unity. I am still standing on that promise in the Bible, and holding God accountable. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! Okay, you've convinced me that there is hope here!! When I read this, I almost went and bought a stencil myself!!! Cool <P>Love to you, <B>TnT</B>, and also to you <B>Paha</B> (if you're still reading, which you'd BETTER Be! haha),<P>Sheryl

Hi Sherly,<P>No worries about talking on this board. I have been praying for all of you since the beginning. I did not know about the abuse. <P>I really do feel in my heart that your son will come out of this little trial stronger and better. I just feel it.<P>I was watching a movie Tony rented and there was a line in the movie that was said by the son to his father and I thought of you...."Though the bond between is is streached it is never broken. I know you love me and I love you." It was from the movie Blow. It was rather profound.<P>Also as far as flying...the day of the plane hijackings...I booked my Mom's flight up here. She gave me the money to purchase the ticket. I called her and asked her if she still wanted to come up. She was just yes...by them it will all work itself out. She will be up in a couple of weeks. I think that life should go on...try not to think about getting hijacked. If you want to visit your family you should. Life is so short. <P>TnT, <P>Still praying for you as well. How is everything else doing?<P>Ymon,<P>So did you have your baby yet? My brother and his wife had a baby girl on my birthday. How could I get a better gift.<P>OK as far as I am reading...I am reading my old research and comments in my bible. My Gran gave it too me when I was nine. After all this with the world trade I found a book I read in the early 90s about Terrist attacks that were going to start happening on the US soil. It is rather grim.<P>CL,<P>How are you doing? I mainly lerk here now. How did the move go? How are things with your H? Are you feeling better? I have been praying for your feelings. <P>