Cam,<BR>I am putting the blame where it belongs.....on my H. Yes, I did end up in jail.....no recording of the conversation....no proof what so ever. I admitted to the two calls I made. And talked about the one that her H made to me. My attorney was so cocky...said that I could not be convicted of this offense. Well guess what...the judge felt that I had reason to call her and since it was her word against mine...I lost. Because the judge did think that they were having an affair, but did not state that...just said that she felt there was justification that I could have made it. It was even brought up that how can a woman who spoke to me 2 times......and only once before this alleged phone call took place recognize my voice. No, I am not paranoid enough to believe that there is a world wide conspiracy against me. It is just as unbelievable to me....my family....my friends....and my attorney. I was sentenced to 60 days in jail, suspended for 1 year probation. I have asked for an appeal, but it was denied with no explanation. I stood up for my rights and opinion on something in this small town and county about 2-3 years ago and we (about 300 people) fought something in our town. As the event progressed people began to drop out seeing no way we could win. About 7 of us continued our efforts to prevent a steel mill being built in our small town. The judges H was the attorney for this mill. Many of us are paying for this now. 2 other people have gone before this judge and lost. One went before the judge because someone filed a suit in small claims court against her because of work unpaid. She had plenty of proof that the work was never done and someone else had to be hired. But she lost. This county I live in is so political. I know, most are...but it is so small that everyone knows everyone. This judge had a suit filed against her about 9 years ago. She was being tried on 3 judicial charges. All were dropped. I now have the court papers in my hands...someone knows someone and got them. Boy are they bad. Seems her H was silent partner in some cases that she ruled on....were they turned out to go his way...which meant money in her pocket. I know...sounds weird....but nothing could be proved. Not enough evidence. Well that brings it back to me.....not ANY evidence...but I was convicted. Believe me...I heard those same words from so many before I went to court. You can't be convicted...no proof. Well it happened. I am living proof. I have never even had a speeding ticket.<P>Maybe I could give you my mothers e-mail address. My father and her came down for my court date. My mother sat through the bench trial. Ask her if there was one scroud of evidence. I would have loved for the unbelieving to have been there too. It would have made you a believer.<P>Just to let you know....many people are put in jail for hearsay....and many years later have been found out to be NOT guilty. Please, don't insult my intelligence. Also someone posted on this or my other post who is in law enforcement. They said people do get arrested who are innocent. I may have been born at night...but it was not last night.<P>Also...I will NOT kill my stbx. Might land me in jail. I have fought for my children....but I do not plan to put my children through hell for him. They have had enough of that. There is no fighting when a judge has their mind made up. You ar enot allowed to write to a judge or for that matter tell her what really has happened. They do not care about affairs....morals....values....or anything. My stbx did his homework. He has a wonderful attorney. Sneaky...but very good. He knows what he can get by with ....without getting in trouble. There is even a book out there....something about 50 ways to protect yourself in a divorce. It tells you how to pretend you still love the person so you can start hiding money. How to set up your spouse so it looks like they are "crazy" or abusive. How to claim that you are being cut from your childrens life etc. I saw it at the library and then this all made sense to me. Hell, he probably helped write it.<p>[This message has been edited by MENTAL (edited March 01, 2000).]

Here is another game he likes to play. Our 7 year old daughter has been sick for 3 days with lower respitory infection. I can't even get ahold of him to tell him. He is never home. He uses his cell phone as his primary phone and we (the children and I) are not allowed to know the number. I finally left a msg at his work for him. He told a girl there that he just doesn't believe that she is sick. It was his visitation night last night and he called. Wanted to let me know that he would still be picking the girls up. I did not say anything.....finally told him that she was asleep and really didn't feel well. <P>Then he started telling me about his fun night Tuesday night.....about how he went to a bar etc. Sorry guys...but I just don't want to hear about it. I kind of cut him off and asked him if he was going to come or not....needed to get daughter out of her pajamas. He said I was a jerk and hung up. then he calls back at 9:16 last night and wants me to wake up our 7 year old sick daughter so he can talk to her. I asked him if he could please let her sleep. She had just fallen asleep about a half hour ago after throwing up. He was mad. Started threatening the whole custody thing again. I said good-bye and hung up. He called back 11 times after that. One right after another. When the 7 year old finally wakes up...I have her try to call her father. No answer. It is very difficult to get either daughter to call their dad....but of course, I keep trying...keep trying to emphasize that their dad still loves them and cares very deeply for them. It is hard...but I do it. Now I guess I get in trouble AGAIN...for not waking her up. But what is sad....he never asked to speak to his 9 year old.

And, the way the system works, is you have to jump through all the hoops (deal with GAL and C/E) BEFORE you can "drag it all in court".<P>I had 13 appearances before we finally got around to a trial.<P>They try to delay the point of trial and defer as much "litigation" to lesser authorities, like GAL and C/E, to save precious court time. <P>And then when you get your day in court, it matters VERY MUCH what GAL wants and what C/E wants. Maybe the kids should get their own attorney and sue the GAL and C/E for putting them in a potentially harmful situation. <P>Ugggghhh<P>I'm with you, Nancy. You are NOT crazy, and you do not deserve to lose custody, and you don't need to cop to anything that is allegated, you are a good mother, and have been through the wringer.<P>And you are holding up quite nicely. I love your "retorts" and you are getting your spunk back. You deserve a medal for what you have been through.<P>I am thrilled to hear you are all 3 getting that counseling, and that you are connected with the D/V group. GOOD FOR YOU<P>And I hope your new attorney has a passion for your case.<P>TNT

TNT,<BR>Thank you...I have always been a fighter...but somewhere through all of this I have lost that within myself. I worked so hard on saving the marriage and fighting for it back....that I lost insight to what was really important to me. Myself and those precious children. No money in the world would bring me any happiness without my girls being with me....they are what matters.<P>I have no way of proving his abusiveness. Mostly because it is emotional.....but anyone who has dealt with that type of abuse knows just how devastating it can be on ones soul.<P>I am still attending D/V classes...but the children are not allowed to anymore....per custody evaluator. Great how someone who doesn't know us, let alone understand us can control our lives. YUK<BR>Nancy