bonnet, <P>Yesterday at work, a gorgeous married man was very flirtatious with me. It felt so good after what my H has done to me, made me feel attractive again. The thrill also gave me a little understanding of what my H must have felt like in his affair. But I have to take a step back and see what his affair has done to so many people. I let myself daydream about this man for a while yesterday, but then I thought "Could I live with myself if I helped put another family through what mine has been through?" The answer is NO!!!! Not to mention I would feel like I had sunk to the level of my H.<P>AD

Jo<P>Good decision, well done!<P>There are many ways to cope with the pain other than making someone else responsible for your happiness. If that relationship falls through the pain is even more intense second time around.<P>What has helped me is getting involved socially (I go to Rock and Roll dance classes). Whilst I could easily get romantically involved at these classes with someone I choose not to. <P>Just having a common interest which is fun and meeting lots of new friends (all our old friends are married and whilst dear to me I feel sometimes a burden on them)is helping heaps.<P>I think a bunch of platonic relationships at these times is worth a lot more healing wise than one intense romantic relationship on the rebound with the further complication of a married man.<P>Why don't you check out some activities that can be enjoyed as a group? <P>Just my thoughts.<P>Regards<BR>Fairenough<P>PS: Hope these classes are available in Melbourne as that is where I am heading.

SDS - thanks for reminding me about fishes and loaves. You're right, a little does go a long way. Thanks for being there for me.<P>Sidney - thanks, but how are you? I responded to your post yesterday a.m. (Sat) I'm saying prayers for you, and sending a big hug your way. Have you eaten yet?<BR>Take care of you xxxxxxxxx<P>JT - what a revolting situation. Where does he get off asking such personal questions. I spose he thinks its funny. Yeah right.<BR>You're also right about it not doing a thing for our relationships with our H's. Doesn't do much for us either does it.?? I hope your situation at work improves. This guy needs a severe telling off.<BR>Big hugs for you. xxxxxxxxxx<P>WilliamJ - Temptation, and I was so weak. But I'm strong again now. Thanks for being there for me. I know you will maintain your strength - you have so much love for your Robin. That comes thru so clearly. I wish I had ANY feeling at all for my H. It's just gone. There's no anger, no hatred, no love, just indifference. This is now starting to worry me - I know lostva said not to worry - it's ok, but I have always been in touch with my feelings, and thought that feelings and emotions were ok. Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist - who knows what is going on in this head of mine.<BR>I'm glad Robin means so much to you - that gives me strength in some strange way.<BR>Take care of you, thanks for being there for me, and have a lovely Sat. night.<BR>Jo x (purely platonic kiss there!!!)<P>ALREADY DIVORCED - Thats exactly how I feel, and felt. I was just so weak when he kissed me. I do not EVER want to be responsible for hurting another woman, and making her go thru what I have been thru, and I spose will continue to go thru for some time yet. I don't think I could live with myself. Thanks for being there for me.<P>fairenough - hey, another Australian. I responded to your post about fellow Aussies.<BR>I've just moved to Brisbane, from Melb. I would love to go back, I adore Melb, however, I can't see THAT happening. H with OW - no way.<BR>I am taking up golf - I have always wanted to play, so I'll be starting after Christmas. I'm doing a course with a golf club but I was also thinking I might do a TAFE course as well. I'll see how the funds hold out. I also go back to Uni in the new year - I sort of just let this semester ride. I have business maths and Stats. and a law subject. The law is ok, the maths - holy holy lordy lordy !!!!!!! It's all the xyz/cba % (yax/edc) stuff !!!! And basic maths was never my strong point !!!!<BR>At least it will get my mind off my other problems.<P>Have a good Sunday morning - I'm heading down the Gold Coast to my parents.<P>Haven't read your whole situation yet - but I hope you have a good day.<P>Jo