Hey Medic!<P>Sounds like good news to me, go ahead be happy. I think a few, well maybe a lot, of second thoughts are creeping in. Keep up the good work, but be careful.<P>Take care always.

Medic238:<P>I'm so glad that you had an encouraging day. It's nice to think of you walking with a smile on your face and a spring in your step! <P>Hang in there!<P>Jill

Hey Medic,<P>that's great. I'm really happy for you, and imagining that spring in your step.. It's great to see people who are happy, it make's everyone else happy too. <P>How I long to hear those 3 little words from my H, said with meaning and love.<P>I've just read what Jim had to say, and gee he makes sense. It's so hard to do, but when you read why we do plan b, and the results we hope to achieve, we have to believe that it is worth it. Don't we ?????<P>It certainly seems that Val is thawing a little, not too long ago you were despairing of ever hearing anything like this from her again.<P>Keep being strong, and believe that it will all work out for us in the end, one way or another. And we will have learnt so much along the way.<P>You're a fabulous guy, one that I admire. I hope the good feelings stay with you, and give you the strength to keep going with Plan B.<P>big hugs to you<P>Jo

Hey Jim,<P>This is exactly what I'm looking for. Give me the perspective that I am so blind to see. Yes, I did very good yesterday not injecting any LBs or disrespecful judgements into the conversation with my lovely W. I should have been doing that the entire 11 years we were together. <P>I appreciate the "atta boys" from all my friends here because I am making so much personal progress. I see it spilling into my relationship and want to show others that it can happen. Val may not want to reconsile with me and I will be saddened. I am a better person because of what I have learned here from you and many others. <P>I have tunnel vision as far as my situation is concerned. Can readily admit that. I can offer advice to others on theirs because I see it from afar with no personal connection.<P>As Johnny 5 once said "Need input"<P>Thanks to all.<P>Tim

Medic,<BR>I read what Jim said also.......I kind of agree. That is why I mentioned baby steps.....I still believe that she doesn't know the way....doesn't know how to turn this all back to good.....is just too afraid and to her Brian is much more simple. She knows where she stands with him. She thought she knew where she stood with you too.....but then you slipped her good and switched to plan B. And I really think in this case it is working. Just don't go for that open heart surgery real fast......(DO NOT LAY YOUR HEART ON THE TABLE) Keep it simple and short and sweet. Make her think about you....quiver at the sound of YOUR voice....make her work.....then the efforts will be hers now and in the long run will make her want more.<P>You Go....I think it is working<P>PS We will be fighting over those shoes......mine are drenched in the deep sh*t that is being thrown my way.<BR>Nancy

Tim...<P>Baby steps in Plan B are good...<BR>Don't let my words discourage you...<BR>Don't let them push you down...<P>Revel in life and the good things that come your way... and for those words "I love you"...<P>I smiled too... <BR>It warmed my heart...<P>But more than those words...<BR>...your words "<B>I am a better person</B>"... means so much more.<P>Your patience has grown tremendously!<P>Yes... we're all to close to our own situations... me included! That's why we're here. Blindness doesn't have to last forever... even my eyesight is starting to improve! Light that candle once in a while... instead of cursing the darkness. Val could sometime down the road a little be guided by that light!<P>I love you guy...<BR>I love Val too...<BR>...and you know I'm praying for you and her... <P>Jim

Okay Tim,<P>You gotta forgive me for like being so late I haven't been posting much lately. I am so happy for you. I think that it says a whole lot. Continue to do what you have been. Keep expectations to a minimum, and continue to work on you. You are doing wonderful. Prayers and hug to you!!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Hey Jamie-Lee,<P>Better late than never!<P>Quick Update Friends,<P>Thursday I made arrangements with Val to pick up the tax paperwork on Friday at 1100 AM. She was to have said documents in the enclosed porch at her parents house prior to my going up to get my son for the weekend. Easy pick up and escape without seeing her. Plan B remember? She wondered if I had off and/or wanted to chat and could pick the stuff up later. She works until noon. I told her we had been thru this a million times and nothing was new. No need to talk.<P>She calls me at 845 AM Friday to tell me she forgot what we arranged and has the paperwork at the dental office that I should stop by there instead. OK. I know she is confused but within 24 hours?<P>So I get there at 1100 and chat with the staff. They all know me. Like anyone could deny it! I won't allow it! I sent the receptionist a have a nice day fax last week because she always gives Val my messages in a timely fashion. She thought it was great. Don't get any ideas!!! The hygenist ragged me because I am a baby and HATE cleanings. I give pain, I don't receive it well! I saw Vals twin S and was nice as well.<P>We had a nice brief chat and she has questions for the accountant. I told her I will look into them. I say good by and left. No, kiss, no hug, no I Love You I just go. She comes running outside to the truck to chat some more.<P>Talk about mixed signals. The worst part of it is I was within 18" of my W and felt absolutely nothing for her. I thought it was just the moment. It's still the same today.<P>No new questions, just to let you know I may have turned into a Vulcan again.<P>Tim

Okay Tim, It is a well known fact that Vulcan's control their emotions. So to turn into one is good. Especially when you are in plan B and have to have contact. Actually it isn't to bad to be one when you are in plan A. Keeps you from LBing. You did good. It will make Val think or something. <P>Don't give up hope even when you least expect it a glimmer of light comes through but it takes a long time to bring them back into reality.<P>Now I want you to remember these words so that you can throw them in my face. Because I am sure I will be complaining that things aren't moving fast enough.<P>I am an example for you two days, I would have told you that I din't think there was a snowballs chance in you know where for My H to even look like he might even be thinking of anything but the OW. Now look. and if you haven't, read my latest post.<P>There is always hope.<P><BR>Again you did good my friend. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Tim...<P>Great Job!<P>The force be with you.... ahh... erhhh..<BR>wrong movie/show I guess.<P>I think you've got it.<P>And yes... it seems to getting to Val.<BR>Keep those expecations low... and you'll do fine!<P> <P>Jim

good lord, Tim, you've gone and corrupted Jim !!!!!<P>the poor man's eyesight has gone and now he's seeing 'spocks' !!!!!!<P>HEY!!!! maybe you can do that vulcan mind-meld on Val now...see what she's really thinking.... <P><BR>live long and prosper..<P>Dylan

hey medic,<BR>Nice to read that the two of you are talking, and she seems interested. Don't get crazy...but don't get too vulvan either!!!<BR>Can I drop off my taxes for you too? (((hugs)))cl

Hey Mr. Spock,<P>Hang in there bud. I wish I could. I'm inches away from throwing in the towle. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. My love and respect for her are about nil. R doesn't give a crap about anytyhing. I know shes in her fantacy world, but with each passing day I want her less and less. I am disgusted by her behavior. And besides, there are other fish in the sea and fishings good. Didn't mean to take over your thread.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Tim,<P>From one of those going through divorce, just wanted to say I am glad you had a good day, and hopefully by the time you get my "late" reply, you are still doing great. <P>Baby steps forward are better than none at all! Keep positive and be strong. I wish you the best! Dana<P>