JIm ,<BR>Just got on the computer and read your post.Such an important decision for you,I will not offer any advice,Iam praying for you, and hope that God will guide you in your decision. bethn

Jim,<BR> <BR>My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. I wish you the best. You certainly deserve it. You are such a source of hope and inspiration for everyone here. I only wish there was a way to ease your pain.<P>As to your decision. I'd go with choice A. LB? Depends on which way you choose to look at it. Anger her? Probably. But Plan A does not mean sacrificing your future and the future of your kids. It's does not mean making life a piece of cake for her and the OM. <P>Jim, you need to look out for you and your kids. Plan A her as long as you need to but don't enable her. Fine line, I know but your number one concern has to be for your future with your kids. Hopefully, she'll one day come out of her fog and decide to join it. <P>Best of luck to you. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Remember "Footsteps"!!!!<BR>

{{{{{{{{{<B>JIM</B>}}}}}}}}}}<P>REMEMBER....???? <P>To every thing there is a season,<BR>and a time to every purpose<BR>under the heaven.<P>A time to be born, and a time to die;<BR>a time to plant,<BR>and a time to pluck up that which is planted;<P>A time to kill, and a time to heal;<BR>a time to break down, and a time to build up;<P>A time to weep, and a time to laugh;<BR>a time to mourn, and a time to dance;<P>A time to cast away stones,<BR>and a time to gather stones together;<P>A time to embrace,<BR>and a time to refrain from embracing;<P>A time to get, and a time to lose;<BR>a time to keep, and a time to cast away;<P>A time to rend, and a time to sew;<BR>a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;<P>A time to love, and a time to hate;<BR>a time of war, and a time of peace.<P>Ecclesiastes 3:1-8<P><B>PRAYERS GO YOUR WAY EVERYDAY FROM HERE; PRAYERS ASKING NOT TO GRANT YOU WHAT YOU WANT BUT RATHER WHAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY NEED, IN TOTAL HARMONY, WITHOUT HARM TO ANYBODY, IN PERFECT MANNER, THE WAY ONLY GOD CAN DO IT, AND ONLY HE KNOWS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED.</B><P>GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, JIM. <P>ALEX<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

Jim, you know my prayers are with you. Be strong & may God show you His plan for your life.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hi NSR -<P>Ew, a yucky, phewy day....I am sorry that you have to relive this - I know how awful it can be....<P>I say prayers for you everyday, but will break out the heavy-duty ones for this!!<P>Just remember that none of this is your decision and you have to let the lawyer get the best for you and the kids..that's your priority tomorrow - OK? <P>BIG, BIG HUGS and know that we are with you in spirit....<P>Sheba

Jim,<P>I am sorry to hear of your upcoming events today. <P>I believe you have been a wonderful friend and given much support to us all. Its obvious you have a special purpose in this life. <P>If you truly are not ready for divorce, then now is the time to drag it out. You can't go back, once its done.<P>I admire your strength , compassion and commitment to all you do and you deserve the best in this world. I am sorry that Plan A, is not going as well for you. <P>My prayers and best wishes are with you today and always, ((((HUGS JIM))))<P>Dana<P>PS Add me to the list of enquiring minds, NSR??? Always assumed it might be initials to your kids maybe? <BR>

Jim-<P>As you read this you must know from what you have read...that you are really a special person! Many people do really care about you and you have many people who are praying for you as you walk your path today.<P>You also know for sure that you have the strength to do the best you can do today! And for the most part, the outcome, which you have indicated many times, will be in the hands of someone bigger than all of us together.<P>So, we all continue to pray for you. And wish you the best as you walk your path today. After the meeting, please do something nice for Jim! Go to that bookstore and browse...visit that Botanical Garden or Arboretum in your city. Buy that new Jazz CD and listen to it on the way home to boot! You deserve it!<P>mrrlk<P>

Jim,<P>You will certainly be in my prayers, and I hope for the best outcome for you. I can't really give you any advice, but I'm sure that between you and God you will find the best strategy.<BR>

Jim,<BR>Will be thinking and praying for you. <BR>Lora

Jim,<P>How did today go????<P>Thinking of you and wishing you the very best.<P>Prayers and hugs,<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Jim,<P>I too will be praying for you!! Let us know how it goes!!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

My thoughts and prayers are with you, too.

<B>Sweetpea</B>...<BR>Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. <P><B>Murphy</B>...<BR>I've tried and I'm trying...<BR>It still looks like the divorce is inevitable...<BR>but I try... <P><B>Camryn</B>...<BR>"wisdom and grace"... is what I need to seek... <P><B>GodAlone</B>...<BR>"to give you a Future and a HOPE."...thanks... <P><B>sue</B>...<BR>Oh... my sister sue... thanks... <P><B>Bob</B>...<BR>You, Murphy and Dana should check out what it originally stood for...<BR>...check out my reply to <B>Simply J</B> in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/002209.html" TARGET=_blank>1 year since D-Day...</A>.<BR>Thanks for your support... <P><B>beth</B>...<BR>...in God's guidance... <P><B>Nerlycrzy</B>...<BR>Yes... kids... and "Footsteps"... thanks <P><B>Alex</B>...<BR>The first CCD class I ever taught was a 5th grade class...<BR>...in it... I inspired them with an oldie... "Turn, turn, turn" by the Byrds...<BR>It is still inspiring to me... thanks... <P><B>Chris</B>...<BR>...from one whose middle name must be "strength"... thank you... <P><B>Sheba</B>... (wisdom of the forum)...<BR>...always a heavy-duty friend... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>Dana</B>...<BR>Kind words... to say the least... thank you... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<BR>Do see my response to Bob...<P><B>mrrlk</B>...<BR>...when I want to so something nice... I come here...<BR>...today... I'll take a 5 minute break for myself... in prayer...<BR>...and be thankful for all I have... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>SadMan</B>...<BR>Thank you... it's nice to hear from all my friends... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>Lora</B>...<BR>I've been asking you to do such hard things of late...<BR>...know that it will only benefit you in times like these...<BR>...with friends here... that are priceless... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>Desiree</B>...<BR>My dear sister... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<BR>Check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/002294.html" TARGET=_blank>ESP is over...</A>...<P><B>jamie-lee</B>...<BR>It's so sad what we both have to go through...<BR>Strength in numbers... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>sidney</B>...<BR>Thank you... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>---------------------------------------------------<P><B>Everyone</B>...<BR>Yes... I love you all... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<BR>The update on the ESP is at...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/002294.html" TARGET=_blank>ESP is over...</A>.<BR>Without your words, thoughts, and prayers... I would have been a lesser man/father/husband.<BR>With you... I can do anything I need to do.<BR>With God... I am already there... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Thank you all... so much... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

Sending prayers for you Jim. <BR>I see yuor point about giving, refusing and LBs, but there is a place where the LBs hold little meaning and self preservation needs to take over? <BR>BTW-I have been gone awhile and the links in your messages are driving me nuts!!! <BR>

<B>cl</B>...<BR>Thanks for your thoughts too... <P>If you think these links are driving you nuts... check out...<BR>===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000013.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A><BR>===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000025.html" TARGET=_blank>Books</A><BR>===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000038.html" TARGET=_blank>Other Useful Sites</A><P>...is it really overkill??? LOL<P> <P>Jim

I'm sorry for your dillemma. I hate this so much. I am not an expert, but I say go for the LB and try to get it all.<P>Something my dad just told me recently because my H is becoming very nasty to me and lying about and accusing me of stuff - he said at this point it's not going to pay off to be nice. He told me not to be vicious but be firm, the kids need what they need. It's not for me, but for their advantage, and my H sure isn't crying any tears over any of this. The fantasy might not die soon (my mom had affair and is still married to the person, altho not happily by any means), and the only ones that get screwed are the kids if you don't be firm for them.<P>My dad is a Christian man who was greatly taken advantage of by my mom and regrets being too nice (he still had my 2 little brothers to raise and lost a lot to her).<P>Stand your ground, cause it's not your ground really - it's your kids' and that will have to be regardless of what your wife "might" decide or not decide to do later down the road.

NSR<BR> You have been a big help to me when I feeling down. I was amazed to find out that things haven't goen that well for you. My guess is your wife doesn't have a clue as to what she is missing. I think you may be right about the "Fantasy" still being full motion. I know in my case and another who I helped the biggest huddle was that FANTASY. I have no magic to break it, if your looking to restore your marriage I wouldn't do anything to feed it. <P> From the sounds of everything the two of you are really for a fight before you even see each other. I can understand, I really can. I have had to back down on my involvement here due to a need to focus on my marriage. I find that to much of an overdose brings me down. I'm rambling and trying to formulate an idea but not doing to good. What I want to say is it sounds like the two of you are doing a good job pouring salt on a open wound. I don't have any magic but if this your current state restoring your marriage will be a mountain you may be able to climb.<P> I've talk to others about depression. Until my life feel apart I really didn't know or understand it. If my wife didn't have this problem before anything went wrong I would have assumed myself to be normal. If there is anything that I have learned is the complete control depression can get over you and twist your good intentions into fury. You find yourself with these feelings of lack of control in your distination. If any of this sounds close maybe you should look into it more. I have found that with antidepressants I'm OK and can function. Without them I can become cold and careless towards my wife with the feeling of who cares. These are not the best feelings to have when your trying to rebuild you marriage.<P> I'll try and make some time to read more of your posts. I would really like to at least offer some form of help for all you have done for me.<P>I'll be praying for you<BR>Joe<BR>