{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}:<P>I am so sorry your wife made the past few days so hard.<P>Your son's day was not ruined, though it may take him a long time to realize it. He had his father and his family (11--that's great!) with him and showing their support and love.<P>Keep showing your love to your family. They will learn from you. One day your wife will understand, whether you will be together or not when she does I cannot say, but she will understand. And she will be sad that these days have gone by--but you and your children will still have good memories of eachother.<P>I wish I could take away the hurting; you've been so kind to me. Hold on tight and know that we care about YOU, Jim.<P>All the best. --HBC

{{{{{{{{{{{{JIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>Where's that tear icon?<BR>This is so hard for the kids. The pain that you feel for your son must be incredible.<BR>Spouses in this state of mind think about no one but themselves. Your wife is the real loser in all of this.<BR>I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!

Jim,<P>Good grief!!! Are your W and my H related??? My H skipped my son's Middle School graduation, too. I know it's not quite like HS, but it is still important. And he got some special awards too. He had the highest Algebra average for the year and got an Honorable Mention in Georgia History plus he was in the top 5 of his class. I was so proud! And his dad didn't even bother to ask about it much less attend. Of course, my daughter is pulling out her hair and is seeing a child psychologist and he hasn't asked about her either. So I know how you feel. It's heartbreaking to watch our children suffer like this. You are a good parent...always remember that. And your kids appreciate the time you spend being with them and supporting them. They will always remember that. Your W is an imbecile. I'm sorry, but I'll do the LB'ing for you! ARGGGGHHHH!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hi Jim<P> I'm so sorry for your W's horrible and childish behavior.<P>You know what I think? I think she is really ticked off that you won't "bite" when she tries to provoke you....she feels terrible about the way she is acting(and guilty) and wants to ge a reaction out of you...that would make her feel better about how "awful" you are. Keep being strong Jim and don't LB.<P>I think she can't stand it that the family is behind you and try as she might , noone is approving of her actions.......LU

<BR>Wow.<P>I'm sitting here at work with teary eyes, shaking my head. I'm amazed. <P>I'm amazed that you can do such a great job, Jim, in the face of all this. Your kids know who loves them and cares for them. Take comfort in them.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>

I am so sorry, Jim. I don't know how the WS's can do such things to their children.

Jim,<BR>I don't know what to say.. I'm very sorry about what happened. <P>(((((((((((((JIM))))))))))))))<P>You know, we all are there for you when you need us, like you have been always there for us.<P>MF

Hey Jim,<P>Sorry to hear how your W acted and how it impacted your son and family.<P>One day she will wake up and realize what she has done. This may not be today, tomorrow or the next day, but, rest assured it will happen. Then she will feel the pain.<P>I was the betrayer in my first marriage and that pain and guilt will stay with me until I see the grave.<P>Take care of Jim and the fam.<P>Tim

A big hug and prayers for you. I know how difficult it was for you. I don't understand how they can do things like this. H missed our grandson's first birthday. The other one doesn't even ask about him now. {{{{{{{{{{{{{JIM}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

God bless you Jim,<P>Huge congratulation to your son on graduating.<P>You guys are in my prayers.<P><P>------------------<BR>Bill<P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Jim, <BR>Congratulations to you and your son on both of your's fine achievement.<P>Hang in there!<P>God'd Blessings to you both as well as the rest of your family.<P>Bob

Hi NSR -<P>Now, how did I miss this until now? I am getting old and senile!! <P>Congratulations to your son for his accomplishment...he may be feeling the sting of his mother's behavior right now, but that will not take this major stepping stone away when it comes to his future!!! <P>Congratulations to you also, my friend!! You have done a marvelous job with him (and the others) and it has paid off and will continue to. You go and pat yourself on the back for your strength, control and compassion!!! Your kids see it, we see it and you better see it too!!<P>About you wife.....I don't have kids - used to be one though, so I know a teenage "attitude" when I see one!!! And Jim....she's got one!!!! Talk about regressing into childhood.....sheesh!!!<P>The foul language, gestures, attitude, behaviors......my Lord, but she's 15 again!!!!! She perhaps had a little revenge episode cuz your son didn't want OM there......isn't that too bad!!!!<P>SHAME ON HER!!!!!<P>At the same time, I have to feel sorry for her.....such turmoil going on inside to be so lost about everything and everyone around her. It's very sad.<P>Yes, your son was hurt....he will remember this for a long time. I suppose the best help you can give him is to aid in his realizing what she is experiencing. He is old enough to understand and it would be a very good life lesson of what NOT to do when confronted with unhappiness and confusion with life in the future.<P>Encourage him to learn the correct ways of relationships and communication....it is needed for any interactions not just marriage. Perhaps it will help him with his mother in the future.<P>Don't lose faith Jim!! Good can come out of the bad. We just have to find it!!!!<P>Now come back out here and talk to us. I want to hear your voice (or see your words) to know how you really are doing!!! Don't make me worry, young man!!!!!<P>Love Ya and Big Hugs,<P>Sheba

Jim,<P><B>You have no obligation of being "nice" and I am glad that you are venting.</B><P>To make it clear: you have helped many, many of us; in my case your words were the first ones I read when I was totally desperate & needy... what? 6 months ago already!!! (I never thought then that I could survive it).<P>But you are human too, you need to vent, to let the feelings go off, to move your energy and not let it sit.<P>Shame on your wife... poor woman: she has to see herself in the mirror everyday and there will be a time in the future when she realizes that regardless of how bad she thinks your relationship was, she has no right to behave like an [censored] (sorry) with you and/or your children.<P>Hang in there, Jim. You are a good man and a wonderful father. You have survived the worst and have the love of your children and family.<P>((((((((((((<B>JIM</B>))))))))))))<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

Dear Jim,<BR>Yes, you should vent!! Your story broke my heart - you are always so supportive, encouraging, kind - I never imagined the pain you are also going through. It made me feel that I don't have anything to complain about. Your wife's behavior - especially to your son, is inexcusable. She will regret it some day. Yes, as Dr. H said, these WS's really are in an altered state!! I think my H has flipped - mid-life crazies, something I never expected he would experience. Ha!<BR>Congratulations to your son on his graduation! You are a wonderful father, and you have a lot to be proud of!!! Thank goodness your children have you. In reading the above posts, did you notice a common thread? - sounds like we all have teenagers! I think it is true when they say that it is a very trying and difficult time for marriages - especially coupled with mid-life. <BR>Hang in there, and please vent away - you have certainly been helpful to me, and you also need support. Thank you - I will be praying for you. God bless - A

Jim couldn't find your e-mail address. My h has a question. I just posted on General-H wants your opinion!!! Would you mind responding. <BR>Tyra

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>I don't normally let too many people know...<BR>...but I am upset tonight.<BR>...Yes.. Jim is human too... and with feelings that get hurt. <P>OK... the weekend(Sunday) dropoff got me going...<BR>...She was supposed to drop them off 9PM Saturday... (I wanted them in the morning... it was Father's Day afterall)<BR>...and she changed her midstream (or maybe not) to take them to a rodeo! They got back to her house 12:30 AM... just so they could wake up 6:30 to bring them back home.<P>When she brought them back home...<BR>Yes... I got the regular "F... ..U" as usual whispered low again so kids can't hear.<P>Then she gives me "the finger" while I'm on the front lawn...<BR>...and as I turn around to go back into the house...<BR>...my daughter is at her window tapping to get my attention<BR>...and makes me wonder if my D saw what her mother did?!!!!<P>Yes... she is upset with all the paperwork she has to fill out for the divorce! My attorney file a "Notice to Produce" demand... and it includes accounting for the "misuse of SSA benefits" for my son.<P>ARGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!<P>OK... now what really did it tonight</B>!<P>This was going to be a wonderful evening...<BR>My son was graduating High School...<BR>...and yes... I'm damn proud of him.<BR>He's had a lot of problems with ADD...<BR>...and HS was a struggle for him at times.<P>So...<P>My W drives the 90+ miles to come and see him graduate...<P>During the ceremonies I spot her (a challenge in a crowd of about 5,000-6,000) and take the younger 2 over to her (I stay away because of Sunday's dropoff fiasco.)<P>When the ceremonies were all over...<BR>...and the graduates came out to see all their friends and family....<P>...<B>SHE JUST BLOWS IT OFF</B>...<BR>...<B>and just leaves</B>!!!<P>My son was soooooo damn upset... confused... tearfilled eyes...<P>He spent at least 40 minutes searching all over the arena (about 450+ graduates) and parking lot looking for her!!!!<BR>...and she just leaves!<P>Yes my W's mother was there... as well as her two sisters... and they all sat together with my family (11 from just my family).<BR>She was on the other side of the area...<BR>...all by herself...<BR>...OM did not come... as a request from our son!<P>Could she be this vindictive?<BR>Is the fog soooooo thick!<P>I will try and do some special things with him (Thai food for lunch... let him spend time with his favorite cousin... whatever.)<BR>I feel bad for him...<P>...in the end he was saying...<BR>..."oh well... she left the family already anyway..."<P>I'm upset!!!!<BR>He'll graduate HS only once in his life!!!<BR>Why did she have to ruin it????<P>Excuse me if I'm not much on the forum tonight...<BR>...some prayful reflection is much in order...<BR>...before I hold on to the mood to lovebust!<P>OK... vent is over...<BR>...like the rest of you... I needed this...<P>PTC one and all ... <P>Jim<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Dear Jim,<BR>Sorry, sorry that your stbx is being such a selfish twit. You offer so much to everyone by being her, by organizing things in the site, and of course making the place comfortable and cozy for us to explore our own - oops, here comes my son<P>She's in a fog. At least your son has some perspective on it all "She left the family already" to paraphrase. Some day she will wake up and be horrified at the pain she has caused. <P>Now it's your turn to allow others to comfort you and pray for you. Drink in the compassion. We were created to know and love and serve God and to help others. Let the other souls in pain soothe and comfort and inspire you.<P>You're a decent guy, one of the "mensches" on this board.<P><BR>

I am waiting........<P>Where are you?<P>Answer up young man!!!!<P>Love Ya....Big Hugs....Prayers<P>Sheba