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Joined: Jul 1999
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Rutger Offline OP
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Heartpain,<BR>OK, You got me.... I laughed out loud. (leggo of my eggo....) <P>It is entirely possible, She is going to her own counselor once a week. She says she likes her and that she is getting some positive stuff from it. She may be afraid to face her demons in front of me..... She is not used to me being there for her and that makes it difficult for her...... I do understand that point of view. At some point though, She needs to let me in so I can just be her friend. I do want to support her as much as she will allow.<P>Thanks for the vibes.......

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Rutger -- Here's one thing to consider....Maybe your W is not getting in too deep with her therapist. They could be taking it easy, whereas in the joint sessions, things are brought up that have been so far ignored in her one-on-ones. In our case, W's individual sessions made her out to be some kind of martyr and me to be some kind of vicious animal. Since our joint sessions were with her therapist, we never seemed to be able to talk about my issues. I was told just to forgive and forget.<P>Could be your W's sessions are just much easier to take because you and your behavior are currently the focus rather than what she really needs. No need to be down about this, it's part of the process until her therapist can start zeroing in on the real problems.

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Heartpain, <BR>I have thought of this, It is entirely possible that she is sugar coating it to her therapist. If so, then she is hurting not only her, but us. I think the joint sessions will also help her in her own sessions, By hearing what I have to say and my responses to them, She can take that back to her therapist and talk about them openly without me. That is good because I believe that will bring progress about for her as well as hopefully trickle over to me. Thanks again for your thoughts....

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Hi, friend. You sound better today.<P>You know, I for one, am glad you're taking this route for now. Her counsellor SHOULD be able to see through at least some of the BS and help her out.<P>I'm thinking about you. <P>Lori

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