Hey sweetie,<P>Just sending a hug your way...<P>((((((Desiree))))))<P>Best I can do, but heartfelt!<P>~Sheryl<P><BR>

Desiree, I got your email I have read it but I want to read it agian before I comment. I'll email you tomorrow. My brain is fried as I have been working on another resume and cover letter for a job application. <P>But, One thing I must say to you is this. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Yes, the EA was but that is as far as it goes. You stopped it and it didn't go any farther. That was your choice. And you made the right choice. H had a choice also. You did not put a gun to his head and say you will have an affair. He made that choice. He could have stayed and worked on your marriage, he could have been strong enough to forgive you. But he isn't instead he decided to have an affair. You did not cause this. It was HIS decision. It is his fault that he decided to do this and not work on your marriage. NOT YOURS. You are only responsible for yourself. You can not take on the responsibility for H. He and he alone is responsible for his actions. Okay I lied I had more than one thing to say. So sue me! You have got to stop feeling guilty. Maybe that is why God whispered time to go back to church.<P>I know that I did a lot of things wrongs but I did not push my H into this affair. He did this of his own free will. And you have to accept this also. I know it is hard but I and a few other will keep reminding you.<P>{{{hugs}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

RMA - how're you feeling today? I've been thinking about you.<P>Just hang in there, ok?<P>Lori

Desiree,<P>I know how terrified you are feeling. I don't know if I would have had the courage to write the Plan B letter while he was still here, let alone enforce it. In my case, he made the first move, so the onus was off me. Since my H has such a self esteem problem, I've wondered if by him taking the action, thus controlling the situation, it actually helped his self esteem? Too bad he has to destroy me in order to rebuild his self esteem.<P>Anyway, we are both embarking on Plan B at essentially the same time. I'm just one week ahead of you. You can count on me for support. Here's my email address, if you want to correspond - skibears12@aol.com<P>Hang in there. WE CAN DO THIS!!!

New_beginning,<P>Sheryl, haven't had a chance to see your thread yet - we are in the middle of budgets and I am very busy! Thanks for the Hugs!!!!<P>Diana,<P>I e-mailed you this morning - better today but still scared stiff to do this! You give GREAT pep talks. I know I am my own worst enemy here - keep me in line, please!<P>Lori,<P>After all you are enduring, surely I can do this. It is so terrifying for me - me who is usually afraid of nothing! Thanks for thinking of me...today is better.<P>sidney,<P>We will have to hang on to eachother through this wild ride. I am sorta wimping out here - thinking I can ask Steve Harley if I can wait until after Christmas to do this. Don'r know why I would wait - some false hope on my part that H might want to spend Christmas with us, which he has nnever mentioned, so I am sure he is already planning on spending it with her. OUCH! This is BIG FEAR to go along with the BIG HURT! You and I will have to keep talking some sense into each other here!<P>jo,<P>I posted a reponse on your thread last night. We must have been posting at the same time, too. Hope you are feeling a bit better today, also.<P>Thanks to all for the support!!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>