FHL,<P>I love the way you put that!<P>It is SOOOO true!<P>Ask anyone who knows me!

Oh siftedlikewheat, it takes a lot more than that to offend me.<P>The truth is I want to want to be organized and efficient and I admire it in others <P>I do have little pockets of my life ultra organized...I can not seem to manage the grand coordination.

I am INFP, but messes make me crazy. Ask my husband--that's the only thing that I ever really demanded of him: please try to keep the house clean. I am an obsessive neat-freak. He is a complete slob.<P>Actually, my mind is messy. And his is not.<P>So he and I are opposite in that manner. I don't think he pauses to reflect that often. He believes only what he sees and likes facts only. So I guess that he didn't think to hard with the head on top of his shoulders when it came to getting into the sack with another chick. The facts came from what his other head was thinking.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Bernzini (edited August 09, 2000).]

I think it was my H DuncanMac that started this last time - we are both utterly fascinated with this test & how accurate it seems to be. When we first went to counseling, the first thing our counselor did was give us a battery of tests to assess our overall mental health and "style" - and this particular one was SO helpful because for the first time ever, we both understood that "(s)he's not doing that just to DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!" What an epiphany, huh? <P>I'm an ISTP (Crafter - and I'm MESSY!); Dunc is an INTJ (Mastermind - and is he ever - ideas and "possibilities" thrill him).<P>After 22 yrs of marriage, we have finally learned to appreciate what each brings to the mix. We tease each other about our "blind spots".<P>FHL, interesting about your H being ISTJ - my FIL is one, and he IS emotionally clueless!! NOW I understand what you're dealing with!

SEE...THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL...AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BELIEVING ME!!! <P>You know, I don't remember any ISTJ posting in that old time thread, either?<P>Coinsidence? I think not <P>I have discovered an icon for my dear H<BR>

I think not, too! ENTIRELY too much "inspecting your navel" going on here! (a FIL sentiment ). His way of dealing with my MIL (an INFJ) early in their marriage was "Nancy - you're being 'WAY TOO EMOTIONAL!!". Like "emotion" was a dirty word... but I think it is certainly a scary & mysterious one for the ISTJ.<P>So FHL, I salute you! And, I hope you are aware of how much your clueless ISTJ needs you in his life... even tho he has no clue WHY ... and if it makes you feel any better, my FIL is really softening up and getting a clue or two lately... so sit tight for, oh, twenty-five or thirty years, and YOU, TOO, will have a H with "a" clue!!! <P>------------------<BR>~suse~<BR>Rome wasn't built in a day.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by suse (edited August 10, 2000).]

Thank You Suse, I feel so....validated.<P>OK...18 years under my belt...how many to go!?<P>Actually those little icons should be smiles with the question marks...'cause except for a skrewy little bump in the road, he's happy with his life.<P>I have never said one word about clueless in front of my daughters. The other day my 11 year old had her feelings inadvertedly tweeked by dad. She started crying to me...."Mom, it's like he doesn't have a clue!"<P>Do you think the ultimate revenge is I bore him three emotional daughters? <P>

FHL<<P>I'm a female ISTJ, well primarily ISTJ. And honestly I am nothing like your H> However my H is an ENFP and he's emotionally clueless. My H like your H doesn't want to need anybody and does not want to be needed. Maybe this emotional cluelessness is more a male thing!<P>

TMD,<P>It could be that he's AFRAID to need anybody and is AFRAID to be needed because that would trigger all the emotional stuff he was trained by society not to have. Men aren't 'supposed' to be emotional. So even when they are, they may deny it.

I am sure a lot of it is a guy thing. However, some guys change. Look at all the clued guys here.<P>Some lock emotions up, some are depressed, some may have been abused and some have been trained. Although my H's dad didn't have a lot of time growing up, he is a wise and kind man. <P>Of course I could be wrong, but I don't think it is any of those things. <P>

OK, I guess I need to get in on this as well . . .<P>My Temperament is: Rational<BR>My Character Style is: Mastermind iNTj<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I thought this just made me bossy. . . <P>God Bless

HELP....what in the world are you guys talking about?? What's INFP?

You have to click on the personality quiz at the beginning.<P>FHL - I retook it tonight and came out an iNFj (Counsellor). I guess there is some margin of error.<P>Kam INFP and INFJ are pretty close in personality, right?<P>My h is most likely iNTj - very different from me. He may be eNTj, but definitely NT.<p>[This message has been edited by schizzo (edited August 09, 2000).]

Hey, Empty Shell:<P>Another bossy rational iNTj here. <P>It's a good thing there's only 1% of us. Somebody's got to be the indians.<P>H's probably an idealist teacher. What a match we are!!!!<P>Buffy<BR>

Okay, I'll weigh in with another iNTj. I like the sound of rational mastermind . It sounds much better than some other things I've been called.<P>Steve

Since h is gone, I took the test for him.<P>I think he is an iNTj<BR>I am an iNFp<P>Sounds like your dilemma, Buffy.<P>Funny thing is that it was his being so different that attracted me to him.<P>So, maybe I should start over with a fellow NF!<P>FHL, I worked for 12 YEARS in my career as an auditor, a job suited for Inspectors.<P>No wonder I hated my career. I actually took on many of the personality traits and was surprised when they dropped later under pressure from my h to "change".<P>So, how do we NFs make it?

Cindy,<P>First job after college...management...yuck<P>Then sales (but in all small town friendly setting) OK<P>But when I grow up....I'm going to be an Artist, which by the way, I am have drawn up a five year plan to achieve.<P>Guess that Business Degree has some merit <P>Cindy...at least you matched two letters with your H.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Kam INFP and INFJ are pretty close in personality, right?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, I think our basic personalities are pretty compatible (tho I haven't read if we are "officially" compatible). But, my H may be INFJ on the inside, but since he is not willing to talk about (and even reluctant to acknowledge) his emotions, he is a bit hard to "feel" connected to. Since I have over-analyzed this endlessly, I'm thinking it has a lot to do with growing up with a very emotionally unavailable father & a mother who refuses to this day to acknowledge any negative emotional at all...she is very sweet, but kinda like living with a Hallmark card. His dad spent 1 night a week at home (mostly pretty anesthetized with Scotch, and not interacting with family at all) and the rest of the week living "closer to his job" (read affair partner). His mom pretended nothing was going on, and just smiled all those years...<P>To this day, you can't have any "real" conversation with any of his family...nothing any more personal than which sports team might win.<P>Kathi

I am a Guardian - Protector (ISFJ), so i think that my career was wrongly selected. Maybe need to University again.<BR>

FHL,<P>Since I did the quiz for him, not quite sure if he isn't eNTj. That only leaves the N in common. What does that stand for??<P>Did you read the profiles for the Rationals?<P>Remember his idea about quitting his job tomorrow and he convinced me, then did an about face? I guess it is normal for these types.<P>I once had many of the traits of the Inspector, maybe because I tried so hard to fit myself into that mold. Funny, how they weren't that hard to get rid of. Good too, as I see it, if the NT can change course on a dime and has no trouble changing ALL beliefs that don't work for him, he could not make it with an Inspector.<P>I guess it also explains how he could so easily throw himself into a full PA despite his beliefs. And that he gets sooo caught up in his work. The last line really got me - they will go after a better way to do something without considering the personal cost. Hence, he now wants to move us all the way south to Argentina (seriously, because it would be better for the business). I'm thinking, "you're an employee, why should you bend over backwards voluntarily?"<P>Funny thing is that I married him not because he filled my love bank, but that he was so fascinatingly different. His type is also only about 1%.