Resilent:<P>Thanks for the kind words. I agree with you. That is what worries me is that he will come back. I asked him if this is really what he wants and he said yes after a minute.<P>They are having lunch together so they can talk. Knowing things like this hurts, I can't stand watching him leave when he goes to her. I know she is feeling insecure because of what he did last time. We had been in recovery for six months, excuse I had been in recovery for six months.<P>She will show the real person of how she is and it can't do all that I do and I know that. Stand petty doesn't it.<P>Judy

Well Judy, the OW should feel insecure. You are his wife and it's obvious he has deep feelings for you. He may think he's "in-love" w/her, but he LOVES you.<P>From listening to your story and seeing the stats on it, I say you are classic text book Harley (although we all have diff circumstances). Your H needs to see for himself that OW is only a fantasy, once he places her in a position of real life, she'll faulter to no end, she obviously can't be faithful or fullfil the needs in a marriage as a wife.<P>AND .. then there's her child with her H. What role will your H play to that child? <BR>What a mess he's gotten himself into.<P>I'm sorry after 6 mos of recovery this happened. And please don't think your H didn't try, he probably did. It's just that this thing they have needs to play out, and unfortunetly that may mean a trial separation.<P>I hope you're doing okay today. Pease keep posting so we know you're alright, Judy.<P>Concerned,<BR>Jo

Everyone is great with support!!!!!<P>I had cried allot today, but when I am not around him I do better. Until I move I am going to be myself and do as I have always done. <P>mthrrhbard:<BR>Thanks so very much. I will continue to stay on this site. Can't help it. It helps allot, I lurk, but I am here daily. You have me laughing till the fat lady sings, doesn't that happen when you are pregnant. Hey I liked being pregnant.<P>Mynabird:<BR>I am no longer crying as I type which is an improvement. I sure I will after I see my h. But I am getting stronger and need to leave to be strong for my son. How funny you said something about a bonfire: I actually asked my h where the blanket they put down on the bed so I can burn it. It is one of his favorites, I bet it is now!!!! Needless to say I can't have it.<P>hanora:<BR>You are up on the recovery board I don't post any new threads, I normally add to others. Thanks for your support,<P>KristAnn:<P>I can't stay here, this was my only safety place where they didn't go. And now that is different. I won't do anything regarding a divorce for several months to clear up everyone's head.<P>kam6318:<BR>You will never know how much your support via e-mail has meant to me. You are truly a great friend, and I send lots of love to you. You can shake him all you want, I just get the baseball bat and he goes back and forth (teasing). I won't hurt him, he has done that already to himself and many others. <P>Searhing for Hope:<BR>I agree with you, but actually I am affraid he will come back, I don't know if I and my son come handle this again.<P>Resilent:<BR>I know he loves me he has told me that. Real life OMG, that will happen. I talked with her husband last to calm him down and hopefully it has helped him. No matter how bad a marriage is (my was good and my h has said so) their's was bad I am told, no deserves to end with an affair. GET OUT FIRST!!!! Trail separation, hmmmmmmmm, must think about that one.<P>Judy <P>

Judy,<P>How are things going for you today?<P>I hope you're okay. Please post and give us an update.<P>Concerned,<BR>Jo

Big Hope,<P>You know what gal!!!! I dont blame you. I know the people on her say PLAN A PLAN A!!!<P>Im not saying taht at all. I agree with that. I to am the WS. I specifically told my OM that I would not go to his house. That I was alot of things but a back door slut wasnt one of them. I went their last ngiht on the back porch... That was it... ANd he and I arent a thing anymore.<P>Big Hope, I dont want to give you false hope. I am going to be honest. A Om and I talked last night. There isnt a day that goes that he doesnt think about me. But it can be that way. We just have to be strong.<BR>I feel the very same way. <P>Me personally, I dont think that it is fair to think about someone else when you are married to another. <P>I will say this from my experience.. If my H and I stay together. And he cheats. he is History. They can flame me fi they want to..<BR>this is just from my opinion. <P>I am so so so sorry for the pain taht you are feeling. It makes me feel like **** for my OM W. Why can we be so blind at times?????<P>BH, Im praying for ya!!! You try to redo that bedroom . Throw paint everywhere if you have to..I wold burn it!!!LOL!!!<P>Keep Venting! Not for him but for yourself. I let it build up for years and here I am.In hell again!!<P>Just pray for strength from God. And let him go. If he is to weak to break it. Then you dont need it. <P>GOTO PLAN CCCCCCCCCCCCC<P>TAKE CARE OF YOU AND THE KIDS!!!!!!!!!<BR>Prayers<BR>Renee<P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

Resilent and inamess:<P>I started a new thread, this is where my update is sorta. <P>I am tired and I have had enough. Please read my other thread for the rest.<P>Thanks again<BR>Judy