LU, Yes, my H does have the "grass is greener" syndrome...and it always has a life span.... He says he's working on filing, but he says he wants to discuss some things with me before he finalizes it.<P>We do have a 13 year history, with kids, but he has forgotton it all for now. <P>In many ways, the current situation is much better for me. I really feel more in control of me finally knowing about the PA and him finally telling me she is it for life. He is so less obsessed now. I think he would have gotton into it much quicker (he was like a runaway train in the winter) if he hadn't gone to counseling. <P>But even with that, he still couldn't see. I think the counselor was trying to get him to slow down also, and it was that limbo stage, the pretending, the living two lives that was getting us nowhere.<P>Plus, his family, telling me this is just him. When he's done, he's done. I think I have more faith in him, though the pain has kept that faith guarded.<P>I'd rather have him feel certain! (like he seems to now) rather than the confused state. Because the one thing I know about my H is that certainty never works for him.<P>I can actually be nice now. Now he doesn't make the "fake" calls to check in. He doesn't ask me about me. It's better for me...Now he will have to see how certain he really is.<P>I do know, you just trade problems. Of course, with OP he won't have the struggles of small kids....so it could take longer. <P>He and I are no different than anyone else when it comes to raising 3 small kids...it is hectic.....they do take a lot of work....you can't always have the reserve to meet each others needs. <P>I guess I've always believed you take the highs and the lows....and inside you always know when you hit a low, that the next high spot is just around the corner and it can offer so many wonderful things.<P>I think if you just try to live on a straight line, you miss so much.... <P>His regrets keep him up at night. No matter what happens...this will do the same.<P>
