Tigger and HurtButCoping,<P>I am doing well today and so is peppermint. We are able to talk about the A in a more open environment than we did last year. At least that is the way I feel about it. I know there are going to be both good and bad days, but I can accept that. The OW is staying out of sight and has not tried to make contact. This is good. They live very close to us.<P>Peppermint and I knelt on each side of the bed last night and prayed together. God is answering our prayers. I am going to figure out why this all happened so I can face it head on and deal with it. Two years ago I was proud of the fact that I had had been true to peppermint. Somewhere something inside of me went wrong and it had nothing to do with my W. I will deal with this because I can't go this way again.<P>Many thanks to both of you, my prayers and thoughts are with you.<P>....fs<p>[This message has been edited by firestorm (edited September 14, 2000).]

Best to you, firestorm. Hang in there. -HBC

Firestorm:<P>Reading your posts brought back bad memories. Like you, my H wrote the no contact letter to OW. At the time, he truly meant it. However, the OW would not leave him alone - granted my H could have sadi NO. Within two weeks, they were back in contact. We are now separated, heading for divorce. They plan to continue their relationship into la-la land as far as I know. How can H do this when he wanted to work on the marriage and loves me? He has changed his mind about this 3 times now.....

HBC<P>Thank you very much. We are both taking this one day at a time.<P>Trapped Mom,<P>I am so very sorry for the way things have turned out for you. <P>Last year when peppermint and I were trying to rebuild from the first occurance of the affair, I know I would say or do anything to keep my marriage. I never sent a letter of no contact, but I did make a phone call to tell her a few things. At the time I called her, I didn't want to be involved with her anymore, and I told her that. I did miss having her as a frined though since I had know her for 14+ years.<P>I never killed that relationship in my mind and therefore it left me open for things to resume. This past summer when we became "re-involved", I began to see a different person in her that was not the friend I thought I knew. I did began to realize that she was only out to destroy my marriage and I was giving her that opportunity on a silver platter. I could not end this relationship until I was ready to end it. I was not forced to end it in any way, I did it on my own. That is the difference between today and last year.<P>I do believe your H will wake up one day and see the mistake he made. I BELIEVE THAT. Do you think the OW trust him? I doubt it, and time will bring that out and she will see it. And, if she was married also, he will see that in her. It's just a matter of time.<P>You are in my prayers as is everyone here.<P>fs