The previous post was by my wife, who has been reading my posts all along unbeknownst to me. <P>If you are still reading my posts, I want you to know one thing. If you were able to read my posts and not conclude how sorry I was for my mistakes and my neglect of your emotional needs during our marriage........then that is truly a shame. I have been posting my sincerest heartfelt feelings here, anonomously. Not because Im looking for advocates, but because of the tremendous pain your actions have caused me. I guess you feel justified in inflicting that kind of pain. This has been a way to deal with it for me. I don't think its by coincidence that you found my posts. The Lord works in some very mysterious ways. <P>My post of Monday night was not meant as a threat, but was the result of frustration with the situation at hand. Sure I have missed times with the kids and have failed to particpate in many of their activities and I have been selfish about my time, but I have made great strides in that area and long before I was aware of your adultery. I have made great efforts to be a better husband to you and those efforts have been met with disdain and ridicule from you and the other person. <P>If you can't see how much I love you.... after going through this and I'm still fighting for our marriage. Then you are blind. Its not about losing. Its about my love for you, for our children and for what is right in the eyes of God. Your mind and heart have been corrupted and as much as you think your time with "him" is blissful and scerene, reality will eventually come crashing in on you. <P>Yes, fortunately the Lord is forgiving. Whats in your heart is between you and him. But, I know your faith will eventually win out. You know in your heart that the direction your are heading in is wrong and will never be blessed by the Lord. <P>Sometimes we are presented with challenges in life. I think the Lord tests our faith in him at times. It is how we respond to these challenges or tests that determines our spiritual character. I want to be able to hold my head high and stand proud for how I have handled this test. I want you, my wife, to be standing beside me as we triumph over this dark period in our lives as we emerge from the darkness, stronger "TOGETHER" in our marriage, "TOGETHER" as parents and "TOGETHER" in in our faith in the Lord. <P>Love, <P>Your Husband <P> <P>
