Well, You can comment on the letter if you want, but it is NEVER going to be sent to her. <p>I was on the web this afternoon, and came across OMs new web page, as well as his yahoo page. <p>I know OM and my W are in a EA/PA, but this hurts now, on a really deep level.<p>Here are the links, tell me what you have to say about this :<p>The first one, Christie is about my W.<p>First one OM, and my W. Second one OM.<p>The Yahoo profile of OM.<p>Based on these pics, should I file? I want to now, especially after seeing these. I feel there is nothing left to save. Please help...<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: Torizo ]</p>

Torizo,<p>Don't do web shopping if you can't handel it, I do window shopping once in a while and it get me too. You are in plan B, you are supposed not to have no contact at all !!!, no chance of EN(s) or LB(s). As my youngest D says, "you know where she goes, dady. Why do you want to pass by ?. When she is not with us it means she is over there". My little angel tried to protect me.<p>Let her file !. Let her at least pay for it. You could use the money to go out.<p>About OM, boy ... I don't think it is a M material and also how many womens he had before W and one of them still talking to him .... What an LB'ed. One more minuses on their A. Just hanging there and no contact also for you ... even cyber contact !!!.<p>Every time you want to pick up the phone or making contact just think of this moment when you saw their picture ... it will stop you.<p>You see T. When you want to love someone, you think of the good memory of w/ her over and counting your blessing. When you want to hate someone, you do the opposite and counting the missdeeds. With time it will imprinted.<p>About your letter, I am waiting for Orchid to evaluate it ... she is a Venusian [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Cheers up ... weekend is coming.<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Thank you RH, It's just that, it hurts to think of her having fun, without me. We made a promise in our vows, to be together through good and bad, but as soon as "the bad" happened, she left, and found comfort in somone else's arms. <p>I am a man of honor and integrity, and it hurts to know a human can be this heartless and cruel to another human. How has our species survived this long?<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> You are in plan B, you are supposed not to have no contact at all !!!, no chance of EN(s) or LB(s). <hr></blockquote><p>and thus, there is no contact, and after those pics, I have no desire to make contact. It pushes me harder to attain MY goals, get MY life together. and enjoy MY life without her (as hard as that is).<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> As my youngest D says, "you know where she goes, dady. Why do you want to pass by ?. When she is not with us it means she is over there". My little angel tried to protect me. <hr></blockquote><p>I never looked at it that way...<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Let her file !. Let her at least pay for it. You could use the money to go out. <hr></blockquote><p>Fine, she can file, she can pay for it too, but how? She has no job, and I'm sure it's not on their "Priority" list right now, not until he decides he wants M from her. I see it happening. So in that light, D could be a LONG way off.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> About OM, boy ... I don't think it is a M material and also how many womens he was before and one of them still talking to him .... <hr></blockquote><p>and besides that, why would anyone want to build a new relationship with someone who "broke up" a marriage? (Granted we had our problems before this, but he is "the straw that broke the camel's back")<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> You see T. When you want to love someone, you think of the good memory of w/ her over and counting your blessing. When you want to hate someone, you do the opposite and counting the missdeeds. With time it will imprinted.<hr></blockquote><p>So, just stay focused on before A is what you are saying? (Hard for me to do,because the wound of A still hasn't healed, but it's getting better) I still can't get it out of my head that for the past two years SHE was worried that I would be the one to have an A, that it would be ME to "break up" our M. I now see, THAT was a warning sign, and I was to Ignorant to see it. (Someone hit me with a 2x4)<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Cheers up ... weekend is coming.<hr></blockquote><p>A break from the job hunt, maybe I'll go meet someone nice this weekend.lol. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Just kidding, I can't say I'm not totally vulnerable right now, and that is why I stay away from places like bars and clubs, I don't want to "cheat" on my W, even though there is no reason not to at this point. (However, I have more pride than that, and I am loyal to W until those papers are final) I have tried to be the "best man" I can be, even through all of this.( oh if only my mother were alive, she would be proud of me.)<p>That is where the situation lies currently.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> About your letter, I am waiting for Orchid to evaluate it ... she is a Venusian . <hr></blockquote><p>I think she'll like it, but now I can't send it for 2 reasons. Plan B, and no desire to send it now.<p>The LB$ is "in the red", and I am no longer "sure" about taking her back. Before I was positive I would take her back, but as time drags on, I'm less and less Positive. I have accepted life w/o Her. And am unsure what I would do if she said she wanted to come home now.<p>No matter, I'm going to try to have a "good" weekend. Maybe a walk in the park on Saturday, hmmm..... (Weather permitting)<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: Torizo ]</p>

Torizo,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I am a man of honor and integrity, and it hurts to know a human can be this heartless and cruel to another human. How has our species survived this long?</strong><hr></blockquote>
You are a good man, you will find your fullfilling M w/ or w/o WW !. Also our species starts like that, eats our own then we become civilized. We are social animals.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>The LB$ is "in the red", and I am no longer "sure" about taking her back. Before I was positive I would take her back, but as time drags on, I'm less and less Positive. I have accepted life w/o Her. And am unsure what I would do if she said she wanted to come home now.</strong><hr></blockquote>
This is exactly what plan B is about, prepared you to move on if all else fails.<p><strong> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>No matter, I'm going to try to have a "good" weekend. Maybe a walk in the park on Saturday, hmmm..... (Weather permitting)</strong><hr></blockquote>
Have you been in the Rock'n roll hall of fame ?. One of this day I will visit Cleveland again, probably on alumni days. But I might not if I am on plan C ... to much memories, strolling around the park at the end of the highway going to Lakewood.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> You are a good man, you will find your fullfilling M w/ or w/o WW !. <hr></blockquote><p>You are a truly kind person Rh, I only wish W would see in me what you all have.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> This is exactly what plan B is about, prepared you to move on if all else fails. <hr></blockquote><p>So then as far as Plan B, I did it "right"?<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Have you been in the Rock'n roll hall of fame ?. <hr></blockquote><p>Ya know, as long as it's been here, I have yet to go to it. (Been to the science center about 4 times though. IMAX movies ROCK. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] )<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> One of this day I will visit Cleveland again, probably on alumni days. <hr></blockquote><p>If you do, let me know, I'd like to meet you and put a face with the typing.lol.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> strolling around the park at the end of the highway going to Lakewood. <hr></blockquote><p>Been there, and let's not forget Edgewater Park.<p>I have my memories too, some still are haunting even now. Like when we first moved to where we are, She was so thrilled to get this place, we spen the first 2 weeks painting and cleaning, we had fun, even though it was HOT those 2 weeks. I must have lost 10 pounds from sweating.<p>But now, the walls are empty, all of our wedding photos she has, I miss her, her touch, smell, her voice, and our embraces. There are no items left that are of "us", she has it all. And thats another thing, when I took all of "our" stuff to her, I told her here is everthing, you can keep whatever you want, or you can throw it away. She was shocked, she said, of course I'll keep it, you were a part of my life for four years.<p>Now the question, She wants to be with OM, she doesn't want me in her life, and yet she holds on to everything that is "us" Picture, cards ect. If she wants to start a "new" life with OM then why hold on to the "past"? I mean, why hold on to it, when there is no "reason" to?<p>That perplexes me.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.
<hr></blockquote><p>I know I have given it my best, and if the papers were served tomorrow, There would be no regrets.

Torizo,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>
Now the question, She wants to be with OM, she doesn't want me in her life, and yet she holds on to everything that is "us" Picture, cards ect. If she wants to start a "new" life with OM then why hold on to the "past"? I mean, why hold on to it, when there is no "reason" to?</strong><hr></blockquote>
She might underestimated you and think that she has you wrap under her finger. She is probably a Venusian lady.<p>Now go to R&R hall of fame .... thank for the name, yes, Edgewater Park during fall time, the air, the leaves ... argh, I used to bring her there to practice her flute, I just watch her practice and admire her beauty.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> She might underestimated you and think that she has you wrap under her finger. She is probably a Venusian lady. <hr></blockquote><p>Maybe, Do you,(in your opinion) Think she will come back(based on these now 16 pages of posts)?<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> thank for the name, yes, Edgewater Park during fall time, the air, the leaves ... argh, I used to bring her there to practice her flute, I just watch her practice and admire her beauty. <hr></blockquote><p>Wow, I used to do the same, but no flute involved.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Now go to R&R hall of fame .... <hr></blockquote><p>Either saturday night or sunday.

Too early to tell, the jury still out there. But by the fact of $$$, living in freind house and OM still in contact w/ his ex, let it burned a few more candlelight. How her families taking all of this ? do they know ? do they care ?.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Too early to tell, the jury still out there. But by the fact of $$$, living in freind house and OM still in contact w/ his ex, let it burned a few more candlelight. <hr></blockquote><p>Hmmm... I would like to know, But back to the issue of time. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> How her families taking all of this ? do they know ? do they care ?.<hr></blockquote><p>Her family doesn't understand why she is doing this, they've even said, I'm the best thing that has happened to her. They think it's a mistake on her part, and she has got to learn her "lesson", even though she probably won't. <p>Her mom wants her ring back if W is serious, still have yet to hear about that though. I don't know if Mil got ahold of W or not. I'll call Mil tomorrow and find out.<p>Ah, memories..... only a short year ago, we were married, Oct. 28 2000. seems so long ago now.<p>Oh well, on my way out to a friend's house. I'll be back sometime later.

W Update: Ok, talked to MIL, She said she talked to W yesterday, about the ring, and W said she doesn't have the money to send ring back to MIL. And MIL, asked what if you two get back together, and W said well, we can just buy a band or something down the road. MIL also asked W what she is doing, and W said I don't know what to do, I'm confused. (Which is better than I know I don't want M, isn't it?) <p>So, let's recap,
13 days ago W said, I want to come home but dont know what to do with OM.
05 days ago W said, I don't want to lead you on, I don't want M anymore.(But W cant afford to file papers)
01 Day ago, W told MIL she was confused, and didn't know what to do.<p>Waffling? yes.
Fog? Definately
Alien Abduction Victim? Absolutely.<p>Logic? None that can be seen.<p>So what does this tell you all? Comments appreciated. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi T,<p>Me and my 2 cents here!!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Torizo:
<strong>So, let's recap,
13 days ago W said, I want to come home but dont know what to do with OM.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Logical response: Go to the garbage and dump OM!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Torizo:
<strong>
05 days ago W said, I don't want to lead you on, I don't want M anymore.(But W cant afford to file papers)</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Logical response: Then don't!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Torizo:
<strong>
01 Day ago, W told MIL she was confused, and didn't know what to do. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Logical response: Then let T, help you. Nothing worse than someone doing something major and not know what they are doing. Would you have a surgeon operate on you if he said that? How about a dentist or lawyer? Hm.....<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Torizo:
<strong>
Waffling? yes.
Fog? Definately
Alien Abduction Victim? Absolutely.<p>Logic? None that can be seen.<p>So what does this tell you all? Comments appreciated. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Well you are certainly right on your assessment. Now you have to make sure you are not caught up in that mode. React with clarity and thought. <p>L.

Well O, now that I know she's confused, it leaves some room to work with. But, I'm in ME mode, I need to get me in shape, eg.job, $$$, so forth, Then I can worry about her.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Logical response: Then let T, help you. Nothing worse than someone doing something major and not know what they are doing. Would you have a surgeon operate on you if he said that? How about a dentist or lawyer? Hm..... <hr></blockquote><p>I would LOVE to help her, but she either doesn't "want" help, or still thinks I haven't changed.<p>Doctor, why are you preparing a chainsaw, I thought this procedure is "routine"? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It feels hopeless at this point, though the logical half of me says it's not totally hopeless. there is still a very tiny ray of hope, that hope is: shes a very emotional pperson, and I can only hope her mind wanders like mine does, she thinks of a "special" moment between us, and who know, maybe she'll even call. Though I know not what I would say...<p>The fog is closing in on her, and that same fog may be hope. for as long as there is fog, rational thought can't be used, and it buys me time, time to make me "better".<p>I was going through Tax stuff(Got my w2s) considering, after getting "return" asking W if she really wants D, Also considering Paying for D with "return".(No, I don't mind paying, but I will not be the one to file, she can meet me and I'll go with her to start the D process) At least that way I KNOW $$$ went for something "useful" as opposed to just giving W $$$ and her "blowing it" on something stupid. I know I shouldn't pay, but if it what she wants, and it makes her "happy", then I support that decision. I have learned to be the source of my own happiness now, and meet my own needs, No one can take that away from me. And apparently her needs are being met by OM just "fine", as she hasn't called me, and is therefore NOT concerned with me one bit.<p>Thoughts on all of this?<p>First Contact from W in 7 days : myfuzzykity (Sun 01/13/02 01:22:06 PM): i just wanted to say hello...and see how you are doing....[Sent Via Yahoo messenger.] Should I reply? Or is that violating Plan B?<p>[ January 13, 2002: Message edited by: Torizo ]</p>

The weekends are lonely on the boards...

The weekends are also the hardest for many BS ... I packed my days with activities of my 2 D. Now I have to go to sunday night church, catch you later tonight.

Have fun, When you get back, please read my latest news above. I could use some advice, Thanks.<p>Catch you later.<p>Job Update: Tomorrow I go and put in app for Corrections Officer, and later this week a Police Office in a neighboring city. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I'll take either job right now, both good hours and $$$.<p>I'll post results of either when I find out.<p>[ January 13, 2002: Message edited by: Torizo ]</p>

About Tax return ... 50% is yours and keep it for going out or to extend your financial means while looking for job.<p>This is what I mean with decision. You know if you are in plan B, no contact !!!!, unless you want to eat your crow and contacting her, going back to plan A. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . IMHO, you are too soon to go to plan B.<p>Two comment on the contact ... first, how do you know it is her not OM since it was sent via yahoo messager. second, if you want "the contact", do not do it via messager for "the first" contact, wait a bt longer for her to call you. Be ready what to ask and talk about, no LB.<p>Warning, do not read anything into this, she might be venusian. I have you in my palm and I make sure that no one is going to take it from me, just in case I need you. Go and read INDY_357's post in GQII, IMHO, WW is a real venusian.<p>[ January 13, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>About Tax return ... 50% is yours and keep it for going out or to extend your financial means while looking for job. <hr></blockquote><p>And the sad part is I made 9/10 of the income.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Two comment on the contact ... first, how do you know it is her not OM since it was sent via yahoo messager. second, if you want "the contact", do not do it via messager for "the first" contact, wait a bt longer for her to call you. Be ready what to ask and talk about, no LB.
<hr></blockquote><p>First, there is no way to know...I was going to wait for her to call, IM is so "unemotional". Besides, she knows she can call me if she wants.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Warning, do not read anything into this, she might be venusian. I have you in my palm and I make sure that no one is going to take it from me, just in case I need you. Go and read INDY_357's post in GQII, IMHO, WW is a real venusian.<hr></blockquote><p>That is a fear of mine as well, and a major contributing factor to me not calling her, as well as plan B. I want to show to her, I DO NOT NEED her to go on with life. (If she comes back, all that much better, but it is not a NEED.)<p>I only want to find out what she REALLY wants, but am unable to do that while she is in the fog.<p>Wish me luck on jobs, and I'll see everyone later. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Torizo:
<strong><p>I only want to find out what she REALLY wants, but am unable to do that while she is in the fog.<p>Wish me luck on jobs, and I'll see everyone later. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>You will never know, WS itself doesn't know otherwise they go through Dv straight out. With no lawyer involve then it is do able, only the cost of filing.<p>Give us update on your job interview. I am praying for you right now.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> You will never know, WS itself doesn't know otherwise they go through Dv straight out. With no lawyer involve then it is do able, only the cost of filing. <hr></blockquote><p>Sometimes your writing is a little cryptic [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Can you explain?<p>From what I "get", If WS knew what they wanted, Dv would happen Immediately? But she has the restriction of 90 days due to leaving county. less than 5 weeks remain before she CAN file. The real question is, will she if She has the $$$? (E.g. Tax return $$$)<p>C.O. Job = Picked up App. P.O. Job = Going to on Wed. to fill out App. Tomorrow, security job at local marina = Fill out app.<p>Thank you for your prayers, I need them right now.

Torizo,
Yes, if WS is not "confused" they will do it. At least the process of either filing separation or Dv. In your case is a bit tough, we will never know until 5 more weeks and the $ is not relevant, the cost is only filing since she assumed that you are not contesting her (no need for lawyer).<p>Hang in there, she will call you. Not even one week after plan B letter (01/07-01/13), she tried contacting you already.