Thank you CSue. I can't believe it has been a year for you. It seems to me that the years fly by. I guess that is because my H is not around. Have not seen or spoken to him since last May! Wow now that I think of it, it is almost been a year since I have SPOKEN to my H!! I just realized that. Wow! I hope you do better than I did in your M. I wanted to save it but I can't without contact with H. So as you see I move on as best I can. I hope your situation turns out better.

Thanks to you Seahorse. Yes the legal stuff goes very, very slow. Especially in my situation because of him being in another country. Nothing can really happen until he comes back to the states. I am hoping that will be in April. I have to wait and see.

I still have the same job, eight years there. Loving it everyday. Yes I am still in my house and I don't plan on going anywhere. Money is very tight but somehow I continue to get by. My H has never asked to see how I am managing the home or finances. He just wants to come back in two years and work it out. I Can't (won't) go there and he says school comes first, he won't come home.

He says he'd like to get to know me again through e-mailing. He wants me to write to him because he misses knowing how I am. Yet when he writes to me he does not disclose a thing about anything he is doing. He just says he's embarrassed and ashamed about everything he has done to me. He thinks about us all the time. And he wants to see me. All his e-mails are only a few lines and they don't offer any real info. As I said I can't get past the lack of care and concern for so long so I move on without offering him any information except that I would like to see him when he comes home so we can talk about what we could do. I really hope he comes home in April. I'll keep you posted.

Give your dog a big hug. I know my dogs have gotten me through this mess besides my friends, family and of course you guys here at MB. I'll be back soon!
Forgiver

Forgiver,

Just to let you know ... Redhat was here just lurking <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-rh-

HI FORGOVER !!!
Long time, no see.

Good to get an update on you, I was wondering if you have given up on us being any kind of help at all. But then I figured you probably don't need help much any more. Hope that is true.

he says school comes first, he won't come home.
That should tell you what you need to know. It kind of says it all.

It's like he said:
"Hmmmmm, maybe I'll just shack up while in school and then go home and see if she'll take me back. I can't imagine why she wouldn't go along with that."

Anyway, everyone asks about you, wants to know how you are doing. I'll tell everyone I see that you are improving and doing much better.

SS

Hi Forgiver, we have a new Pepsi add showing on TV where there is a shop assistant and he dances Tango with a cardboard cut out of Shakira, for some reason this makes me think of you. Its such a funny add.

Best Wishes for Easter
Liz

Hey All!
Thanks so much for checking in on me! Just a quick update.

I told my H I would like to meet up with him in April if he came home. He did and I had him served with D papers. He called to say he wanted to come by and pick up a battery he left at the house a year ago. That was it. He had a lawyer the next day that told my lawyer he wanted half of everything. He never called to say he wanted to work it out or anything!

His mom called to say he does not want half of everything he wants to see me when he comes home in August because he wants me to take him back!

I still have not spoken to him in over a year. Unfortunately my Love bank is completely drained. I can not accept the neglect and am ready to move on.

His mom is in complete denial and thinks if I just see him in August I will take him back. I do not want to see him. I wrote him a very loving letter about what I have gone through over the past two years and how difficult it has been to make this decision but his lack of contact made my decision easier each day that went by. I wished him much happiness but I could no longer take him back after his treatment (or lack of compassion) for the past two years. And the fact that I have never heard anything of substance from him about saving the M-only his mother, confirms that I need to end this quickly and amicably.

His mom said not to worry, I won't lose the house because I will take him back and he will make everything up to me- after he is done with school.

He is coming home in August to ask me to take him back and then he is going back to school for another year. He and his family expect me to wait another year! I have heard all this through his mother. He never said it was over with OW to me. As I said he has not spoken to me in over a year. He has sent me three e-mails in the past two months. One very angry asking if I really want to save our M because he feels like he is the only one that is trying. His idea of trying is sending two emails.

So I'm am very busy. Going to NYC still, concerts in the park, bicycling around the perimitter of manhattan, going to the shore and spending time with family and friends. Keeping busy, busy, busy. I've expanded my circle of friends and am very happy.

I've been doing a lot of moutain biking, Seahorse had suggested something like that awhile ago. So it's funny I think of her when I go.

I just caught up on her post and I am dying to know if her D is final. I hope so!

I am in a holding pattern with my D. I am doing everything in my powwer to move it forward but H is stalling and is avoiding the whole thing. His lawyer always responds at the last second. And my MIL keeps calling to say stop all this nonsense. She says the M is still alive and can be repaired. I told her I am the one who has been alone for two years not her. My M is dead to me. I have been alone. I want to move on not wait another year. She wants me to move down there with him!

I can not BELIEVE her way of thinking!! He has never called or done anything to see how I was doing for over a year and she expects me to take him back in August and if I wont wait for him for a year here, I should move there to be with him. His family says I need to communicate with him that I will take him back and I will work through this with him. He is looking for a sign. Yet I have not heard from him except for three emails. After all this time of preparing myself to be on my own, I can not take him back.

That is a really quick version of the basics. I don't have much time. I just wanted to check in with everyone..It's so good to see some old names around.

Rest assured I am out and about and happy on my own. I just would like to get out of this holding pattern and get some closure.

Keep your chins up! I'll be back soon!
Forgiver

It's good to hear from you. I think about you someitmes when Seahorse says she will visit mexico. You ought to get together with her.

It does sound like MIL is doing some very wishful thinking. You are right when you see no signs from him. He seems to know it's over but perhaps he should tell MIL. I don't think you need to worry about it much.

What's your lawyer waiting for? Is the hold up because he is out of the country?

You may not read this until quite some time after you were here, and after I write this. I'm not looking for comment really, just wanted to say hi.

You are much happier, and it shows. I am glad.

SS

Hi poster girl of plan A ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> , </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Forgiver:
<strong> I've been doing a lot of moutain biking, Seahorse had suggested something like that awhile ago. So it's funny I think of her when I go.

I just caught up on her post and I am dying to know if her D is final. I hope so!
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am trying to persuade her to come to SF, hey if you could come here too it would add weight for SeaHorse to come up here from Mexico. I am pretty sure MBer around here could play tour guide.

Good to hear from you

-rh-