Thanks - I am learning as I go. It is easier to see objectively on someone elses issues vs. your own. <p>I can't wait to start the golf lessons. I have to wait until mid july. I'm taking a summer class (required) Class is at the same time as golf lessons, so I have to wait until class is done. <p>I hate seeing families torn apart such as yours. You are ahead of some of us out hear. Your H, acknowledged what was going on, and is willing to take whatever measures are necessary to make your M work. Good luck to you. I hope your house sells quickly and you find a comparable house to move to. As much as you want to move and fast, make sure you select your new home wisely. Don't settle for anything just to move. This is a major investment.

Sue - Today started out great! My H packed up everything from our basement (and believe me, there was a lot!) I called my dad and asked him if we could store stuff at his house until we move, he said yes. I told my mother she could hide in the basement if she did not want to see my H, and she said she was fine. WELL, as I am dropping my kids of at my mom-in-law's, my phone rings... it's one of my brothers (who lives with my parents)and he tells me that my H is not welcome there... real nice... so now I have to meet my husband around the block from my parents (he is driving the moving truck) so that I can get in the moving truck, and he can drive around in our truck. At this point I can't stop crying. Granted my dad and my brothers helped me unload the stuff, but I was so pissed!!! If they did not want to see him, FINE... go into your room and shut the door!!! The damn truck was so big I had to ask one of my dear brothers to back it into the driveway for me.... I wish I could have just done it myself... I did not want to have to ask them for ANYTHING!!!<p>I had written my family a letter earlier today expressing my love for them, my love for my H, and my determination to fix my M... It was a very nice letter... I did not say anything negative. So as I was leaving my parents house, I left it on the counter. When I went to leave my other brother said something to me about not wanting to see my H and I started crying again -- I can't take this anymore!!! I can only hope that when they read my letter, they will understand how much they are hurting me!!! <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <p>Thank you for your posts... right now I feel like it is me (and my H... and my children) against the world! You have really helped me out. <p>All my best
-MCNYH <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" />

Hi MC<p>I'm sorry your family makes you cry. The positive side is they let you store some stuff in their home. Your family is a big part of your world, so you do feel like you are up agains the world. Here is a side to your brothers attitude, brothers are supposed to be protective of sisters. They cannot change what happened, and they are probably very hurt that they didn't protect you, so at this time, they do not want to see the man that was a player in a situation that caused you so much pain. It will take a while, they need time to see that you and your H have recovered from this trauma and are living a happier life than before. Hopefully once they realize that this is behind you and that you are happy with your H, they will start to accept him in the family again. These things take time. <p> I get the impression that your family is a close family that does things together. If I am correct, then I am guessing that indirectly they feel betrayed also, they trusted him with their sister. <p>I hope that eventually your family will learn to trust your H and accept him back in the family, he is after all the father of your children.

Forgot to add, since they did not welcome your H at your parents home, they had to help with the unloading and your H didn't, so who had to do all the work. They could have made it easier on themselves by letting him help. (The exercise was good for them [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] )

Sue -- You are right, my H got a break from moving stuff... But, I still had to... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Today has been tough... we have been working NON-STOP for two days trying to get our house ready for showings... my feet hurt soooooooo bad!!!! And then to top it off, my H went to see his doctor and found out that a tumor that was removed 1 1/2 years ago is back, and twice the size!!! Now he has to go for chemo!!! All this while trying to move... (again, with no help from my family...)<p>You are also right about my brothers... they have always been VERY protective of me ( I'm the "baby"). I still wish they could see the pain they are causing me -- I feel like I can't even talk to them anymore!!!! I used to talk to my mother EVERY DAY... now she does not call here... as bad as this is to say (or write in this case), my "sister" has won. She and her H can still go to my parents house (even though they are mad...), and NOBODY is punishing her... I can go over... but not my H... "she" always wanted me out of the way... and since WE are not welcome there, (and I don't want to spend time with their negativity) she gets to have them all to herself! <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <p>Oh well, the most important thing is my M, and I will do whatever it takes to make it work!!!<p>Thanks again!<p>-MCNYH

well, it's 11:24 PM, and we are STILL working on the house...<p>I forgot to mention that since I gave my family my letter yesterday, I have not heard a word from any of them (excpet my oldest brother, who has kept in contact with me from the beginning... did I mention that he is D from a woman that had an A on him!!!! At leat he understands how I am feeling...)<p>Am I better off not having contact with my family right now??? I hate it, but I can't stand the negativity!!! What do I do???<p>By the way Sue, I hope everything is going good for you...<p>Thanks
-MCNYH [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Isn't it a little difficult for you to work on all these relationships - your parental family and *your* family (i.e. marriage) - at the same time? I should try to concentrate on the marriage for now if I were you; I'd try to enjoy the process of finding and making a new home. It can be really fun and very bonding, and you could fall in love all over again. The fact that you are 'away' from your parental family for now can be a good thing too, because you have to realy on each other and can devote the whole time to find each other again. I'd think of it as being on a honeymoon, and it is drugery having your parental family around when you are on a honymoon. You could try to rekindle friendships with other couples as a couple; do something new or go out and meet new friends that you can enjoy that are not connected with your blood family, so that you will be healing and having fun together and not reminded of the mess in the recent past.<p>Your sister sounds very manipulative. She wanted to cause maximum damage in the hope that you would split up - hence the taunting and the stories about being forced. She is probably very envious and angry this hasn't happenned. She is probably trying to manipulate your parents to say nasty things about your husband in order to achieve what she wants. So falling in love again and having fun doing it is the best way to come out the winner in this. Your parents will come around slowly; they always do.

Relate -- Thank you, you are right. My H and I are enjoying our time together -- even if we are tired!!! We are closer now than ever before! So the fact is that "her" attempt to ruin us seems to be making us stronger!!!<p> I hope you are right about my other family... I hate to not have them around, but my M comes first!!!<p>Please keep your fingers crossed that we find a buyer for our house SOON!!!<p>-MCNYH

Hi MC,<p>I'm sorry your husband's tumor is back. What do they think of the prognosis? Good I hope.<p>In time, I think your family will come around. I know it is frustrating to you, because you want them to respect your decision with regards to your M. At some point in the future, they really should lose the negativity, after all, there are your two children to think of. I don't know the ages of your girls, so I'm guessing they are under 5. They don't need to be told that Daddy cannot come over to Grandma and Grandpa's house. They will ask, and they also don't need to be told what happened. They also have to accept that this is your problem which you and your H are working on. You need their support. Give them time. They will miss you and want you back in their lives. <p>My MIL and I had a major disagreement about 4 years ago. She was accussing me of bad things. Because I knew I could not have this around my children, I would not let her around them. My H agreed. We felt bad that our children were being deprived of their grandma, however, I could not have her disrespecting me to them or undermining my authority. She was told, that when she could accept that I was their mother and would respect me as such, and not take over in the kids lives, then she could see her grandchildren. It took about a year before she stopped badmouthing me. Then, cautionsly we involved her again. We didn't want to do it, we knew that it had to be done if our children we to listen to us. Everytime we punished them for bad behaviour or took a toy away because they left it lay around, she would give it back behind our backs. (She owned the duplex we lived in. She lived above us). We moved, and regainedd our lives. <p>She now respects our decisoins in the kids lives. <p>So what I am saying is, it may take some time. Be patient and don't push them. Monitor the situation, you can stay involved, with them, if your and your H are happy, let them know how good your M is. Let them know how good he is to you. In time, they may trust that he will not hurt you again.

As much as I know you are right, it still sucks! <p>My H and I finished painting the entire interior of our house yesterday, today we move to the exterior. I want someone to buy my house TODAY!!! It is soooooo hard for me to live so close to "her"!!! My H says he hates her, but before the A he never even liked her!!! I am living in fear of him bumping into her at the store, or wherever... She had turned my H against me once... what if she tried to do it again... (I know in my heart it won't happen... but there is a tiny area in my brain that is not so convinced!!!)<p>I know my H is commited to fixing our M, and I guess my insecurity is prbably normal... (I don't know)... But knowing that it happened once makes me terrified that it could happen again!!! He tells me it would NEVER happen again, but then again, he had always told me he wouldn't do that to me (before the A)!!! I am trying to keep his love bank VERY full, but it scares me to know that other people make deposits into it!!! Why can't (some) women stay away from married men??? Don't they know that if the guy will cheat on his WIFE, he will probably cheat on them?!?!?!! Do they really not care that after they are together the man goes HOME to his WIFE??!!?!?! It makes me sick!!! Even before I was married, if I was hit on by a married man (happened a couple of times), I would say "gee, will your wife be joining us?", then I would walk away!!! Why can't people take their vows more seriously??? I do!!! I wear my rings as a "badge of honor". I am proud to be married to my H!!! <p>Sorry for the vent. I needed that!<p>My children are almost 2 and 4 -- so yes, my 4 year old asks me "why did you drop daddy off at (wherever) before we got to grandma's?" or "will daddy be here soon? I miss him." How does a parent respond to that? When I asked him to leave (the day I found out), he went to stay at his mothers... I told my 4 year old that daddy had to help grandma for a while -- she seemed to accept that. I think it also helped that I invited my H to come over whenever he was not working, so he could spend time with the kids -- and help me out with them (putting them to bed, etc.) (he moved back home about a month ago) -- As angry as I was (and, BOY was I angry), I was NOT going to punish my kids! They love their daddy! I get so angry when spouses use their children as "bargaining chips", and I swore I never would! (it only hurts the kids)<p>When my family told my "sister" that they did not believe her "claim", she said "I am taking my kids and moving out of state!" What kind of cruel threat is that??? Saying if you don't believe my lie, I will punish you all by taking the kids away!!! (made me furious that she would hurt my mom like that!) As pissed as I was at my H, I NEVER kept him from our children. As a matter of fact, when he told me about the A, we were at his mothers house -- and after I screamed for a few seconds, and he went to wait in the basement for us (me and kids -- who were upstairs) to leave, I went to the basement steps and told him we were leaving if he wanted to come up and say goodbye to the girls! (and belive me it was not easy for me to remain calm when I wanted to punch him! -- but I did it for my girls)<p>Wow... I am really ranting today, sorry. I guess I have to let this all out or I will explode!<p>I have not talked to anyone from my family since the day I dropped off stuff to store in my mothers garage (Tuesday, I think)! Only time will tell, right? Please cross your fingers for me that I will not lose my entire family -- I am already 1 "sister" short, and don't want to lose the rest! <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <p>Again, thanks for listening (or reading, in this case)! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>-MCNYH

Hey vent away. I know it helps. I think you are doing really well considering everything that you are going through. Your house will sell.<p>Your sister sounds like she could use some major help. I think your family behaviour towards her explains alot. They don't want to lose their grandchildren, so they are giving in to her. Sad state to be in. Since you are very reasonable, they know you wont do that. <p>There are no guaranttes that she or someone else will not be able to come between you again. If you both are committed to the R. The chances might be slim. Since I'm not at that point in my M, I'm guessing what you need to do in keep making the deposits and very few withdrawals. I suppose we should treat our M, as if any person could be a potential threat if we don't take care of our M, then it is in jeopardy.
That does not meant we have to walk on eggshells for the next 50 years to save our M. I mean that we need to be respectful of each other, spend time with each other, communicate, be honest and don't take the other for granted. (I find myself guilty of this alot)<p>
As far as OP who do not respect marriage vows, as my H put it to me, (he plays softball, a team he used to play on was sponsored by a bar. Typically after the game the team would stop at the bar.) The women there didn't care that some of the guys were M. They didn't care that we were engaged with a baby on the way. A comment one made to him was "I don't want to marry you, I just want to F**** Y**. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] (least threatening to M, but bad just the same)<p>For some, it is the challenge of trying to get a Married man, and I even heard it put like this once, if he is married that means he is the marrying kind. (Not confirmed bachelor). And then there are those that don't start out that way, they start as friends and they seem to forget that there are vows involved and sometimes children, feelings get involved. (This is the kind that would scare me the most, now emotions are involved)<p>I've even heard guys put it this way when it comes to Married women, what can they do about it. They cannot make a scene or fuss, because they don't want their H's to find out, the guy can have his sex with no commitment. (I actually met one like this. He used to brag at work about his Married women friends)(loser)<p>There are all kinds of people in this world. I don't understand it either.<p>[ June 21, 2002: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</p>

Sue -- I do feel lucky about one thing... I know that emotions were not involved with my H's A. It was just sex. So at least I am not dealing with the "fog" that soooooo many others are! Like I said before, my H always seemed to hate my "sister", (before the A) and I don't think he liked her much during the A -- She just offered things to him that I think he could not resist (why, I don't know)!!! I feel sorry for her... she needs to use sex as a way to get attention from men. I know I have too much self esteem to ever do that! With ALL the A's "she" has had, not one man actually wanted to keep her!!! She was good for sex, but nothing more! (although she was convinced one of her "men" was going to leave his wife -- until his wife got pregnant... he never had any intention of leaving her!!!) <p>I actually feel bad for my brother-in-law... he tries to be such a good H, and she treats him like crap!!! She always has an excuse for her A's! She just likes to have someone who will always be there for her when her A's don't work out! Yes, I think he is a fool!!! I think he should run, not walk away from her and her sick lifestyle!!!<p>As far as my H and me... Things are going good. The only thing that is bringing us down is the stress of trying to get the house ready!!! (so unfortunatly he has been a little too tired at night... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] ), but all that will change (I hope) when we are done... (not much more to do!)<p>I am so glad you are on this forum! You have been sooooooo much help to me -- (you have actually helped me more than my counselor -- I think you have found your calling!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>I wish I could offer YOU words of wisdom, but unfortunatly, I don't know what to say! I just hope that everything works out for you -- the way you want it to!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>By the way, Still no word from my family (since my letter), I guess they made the decision to stay away from me rather than support me... <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> Oh well, what can I do?<p>Please keep me in your thoughts, you are in mine!<p>-MCNYH

Sue -- My mother called me today!!! We didn't discuss my M, but we had a conversation like we have done a million times before!!! She even offered to have someone at the house drive by one of the houses we are interested in looking at to see how it looks -- I think this is pretty positive, don't you??? She knows we are moving as a family, and was willing to go for a ride to check out a house for us!!! Please cross your fingers for me that this is her first step to forgiveness!!! I am not asking for a miracle, but some progress would be nice!!!<p>We had a guy stop by today (on his lawn tractor... we live in the country) [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] , he wanted to look at the house -- my H gave him our number....I hope he wants it!!! I need to get out of here, and FAST!!!<p>I hope things are OK for you today... Let me know what's going on!!! Was your H around for you today?<p>-MCNYH

Hi MC
I'm glad your mom called. She probably is not totally ready to accept you H, I would say that this looks promising. My fingers are crosse for you.<p>Living in the country must be nice. I live in a suburb of a major city. <p>H was home all day. Kids went up north with grandma for the weekend, so it is just him and I. We went for breakfast, went to the hardware store (real exciting there (lol)). We started tearing down our deck. When we bought the house it came with a non-working above ground pool with a deck surrounding it. H tore out the pool, and we are taking part of the deck down. Later we are thinking of putting up one of those 4 ft pools that you can put up and take down with ease. Then he took me out to dinner. It has been a very nice day. I'm now studying for a test I have on Wednesday, (or is it Tuesday?). H is here playing a internet game he plays. <p>I was just thinking about some of the other posts out here, and even though my H has been unfaithful, when it comes to treating me with respect (minus the A) he is pretty good. He does not insult me most of the time, (at least not cruelly.) There has been times when he has made some unsensitve comments, such as my weight, even then he was not rude about it. He has never told me he does not love me. (He has said sometimes he does not and sometimes he does [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] ). He remembers my birthday, (okay Yahoo reminds him, he at least set up the reminder, that is better than I do) Same with our anniversay, last year I almost forgot, (I was studying for finals) <p>So, even though things are not perfect, I do believe there is hope for us. <p>Thanks for your kinds words. I'm glad I could be of help. <p>My opinion of counselors is they have their place in this world. Some good, some bad. I went to one once, one provided by my company "worklife/balance" benefit, I didn't get anything out of it. I get better advice from here than I did from their. The advice they gave me was he needed counseling not me, and I should dump him. (I guess you get what you pay for, I didn't pay anything) Don't get me wrong, there are some very good counselors. I didn't find one through work. I wish I could afford the Harley's, the house needs a new roof, so does the garage, (especially the garage, it has holes in it) [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] My own personal skylight [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm glad I can be of help to you. I hope your sister someday sees that she needs help and gets it. What she does is not normal. She cannot continue in this manner without consequences. <p>Not knowing what state you live in, but I heard there are 5 states that allow the injured spouse to sue the OP, for alienation of affection. If you live in one of those states, and she continues on her current path, she will encounter a BS who will take action.<p>I go to school with a girl, whose dad is doing just that. Her dad found out that his W, was having an A, he filed for D, and he is now taking legal action against the OM.<p>Well, you have a good weekend, and I'm glad you mom called, I hope this is the first step in many at your family accepting your decision to make your M work.
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi,<p>this is for sure a terrible situation. I think it is truely worse than having to deal with OW that is not a relative. It is going to be a life time problem for all of you.
It got me thinking though. Would you in any way be able to council with your sister???
Not getting your H involved, just to deal with the pain and agony and anger alone with your sister.
Somewhat like going to counceling with your H so he could see your pain and work through this. Would this in any way be possible??
I'm thinking this as my brother was killed in an accident. We didn't get along too well and there would now be many things I wished I had told him.<p>I know in your case you wouldn't want to tell her anything good but wouldn't it bring you a better life quality to at least learn to forgive??
Hating someone doesn't help. What goes through your mind when you think she could be dead and you never said what you had to say???<p>Since it is your sister I'm aware that your situation differs alot from mine. I don't feel at all like this when I think about OW, I don't have anything I would want to tell her, nor would I want to hear her side of the story.
But since you will have to deal with this for a life time wouldn't this be a possibilty????<p>Please don't jump on me, I'm aware of the extreme pain you are going through especially since it is your sister.<p>hugs
BB

BB - I would never jump on you for your opinion!!! I hope that someday I can forgive "her"! It is just really hard when she claims that she was "forced" (for MONTHS!) to do things against her will -- give me a break! I have told my family that if she was willing to admit her part and get help, it would make it easier for me to forgive "her", but she does not want to admit her part because that would be admitting that she did this to me on purpose! She has several problem (including bulemia), but claims that the doctors she has seen said she is fine... again, give me a break!!!<p>I don't think I could sit in a room with her and listen to her cry the blues about her life -- she has chosen her life, and has not tried to change it! Although it would be nice if she could say she was sorry!!! (my H tells me that several times a day!) -- Keep in mind that since the truth came out, she has not even tried to contact me! In fact, she even changed her phone number so that I couldn't even call her if I wanted to (which I don't...) All I ask of her is to admit the truth, and say she's sorry -- I really don't think that is too much to ask (maybe I'm wrong?). This whole situation is tearing my family apart -- and while I am left to pick up the pieces, she is in "hiding"!!! (she won't even talk to my family!) - That is why I am so bitter right now.<p>I appreciate ANY advice, so please feel free to tell me yours! I may not agree with everything -- but thats OK, you have helped me to see another angle to this situation, and for that I say thank you!<p>I can only hope that time will bring out the truth, and will help my family forgive my H.<p>Thanks again!<p>-MCNYH [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi MC<p>Since she is not talking to your family either, someone must have said something to her. Could she be ashamed of her actions, but won't admit it??? <p>Does she have a self-esteem problem (especially image)? You said she was diagnosed with bulemia, that is an image problem, she (my guess (arm chair psychology coming out here) she probably seeks out other men to build her self esteem. She probably does not think she is attractive, so to reinforce herself, she seeks many men. The ultimate would me to get the man to have sex with you who would not, and that is your own sisters husband. She needs help. Even though she is trying to boost her self esteem, in reality, she is destroying her self esteem by having sex with many men, men who only want one thing from her. <p>It is too bad that she does not see how she needs help, instead she hurts those around her.<p>Take care happy house hunting and selling

Sue -- When the truth (from my H) came out, I had a conversation with "her" H, and told him the cold hard facts... He wanted to believe her "claim". One, because she is his wife, two, because it is easier to believe she was forced than to admit she chose to do it. My brother and mother were here when I talked to him (to make sure anything I said did not get twisted around, etc.), and he admitted he knew she lied. Since EVERYONE knows she lied, I think she went into hiding so that she would not have to hear what my family thinks of her actions! I have no doubt that her self esteem is non-existant... like you said, if she felt good about herself, she would not need to turn to (several) other men to make herself feel better! I actually feel sorry for her. Although my life is in turmoil at the moment, I know I have a good M, and a great H! She has told her H in the past that she should have done better for herself! (give me a break!) "her" H is not as "strong" as my H... physically or mentally. She has always been jealous of my R with my H, because of all the things he has always done for me. I think she really wanted to take it all away from me so that her pathetic existance would not seem so bad.<p>Like I said, I feel sorry for her -- but she could change if she wanted to!<p>Another good note... since my letter to my family, my other sisters H called me today and offered to come over to help us paint!!! When I got off the phone with him he said to tell my H he said "hi", and he was trying to "work" on my sister (the good one!!!) He is trying to help her get over her anger!!! I am sooooooo excited! This is the second family member to call me in two days!!! Could this be the beginning of forgiveness?????? I hope so!<p>I know there will not be any instant results here... but it seems like some of my family took what I said in my letter to heart, and I hope that in time the rest will too! I would love to be able to be around them again (with my H)!!!<p>As selfish as this may sound... I feel that I deserve to be around my family (with my H) more than she does!! She has lied to EVERYONE, and my H told the truth (that should count for something!?!) I know she is their daughter/sister too, but I have not lied, or threatened to take my kids away... I have only asked for support! I feel that I should get to be around my family for holidays (with my H), and "She" should have to make other arangements to see them! (at least for now...)<p>Why can't she just admit the truth??? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>A lie will never last, and will blow up in her face! The sooner she comes clean, the better off we will ALL be! (even "her")<p>You know... you should charge people for your services!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thanks!
-MCNYH

Thanks for the compliment - I'm glad others in your family are making an effort. It will be easier for the In-laws to forgive vs the immediate family. They care and love you too, but they didn't live with you your whole life. Your family may also be on guard because they don't want to forgive too soon, don't want to see you hurt again. <p>I've always known I was in the wrong profession. I really like helping people so I went back to school for Nursing. Beats electronic publishing.<p>Even though it directly effected you, your sister hurt other members of your family. After all, if she did this to you, she could do this to someone else in the family. <p>I'm sorry she treats her own H poorly. I suppose he has not considered MC for them. Do you think she loves him? He must love her, or at least has strong family values if he stays and she treats him poorly. It sounds like she is comparing her M to your M and is jealous. She should accept her life as is, if she did not treat her H poorly, she might have a wonderful M also. But then again, is she one of those who does not know what she has? <p>My take on your BIL coming over to help paint is that if your sister was dead set against it, she would tell him not to go, so she is probably lurking in the wings, just a little too upset still to come around. Patience, patience and more patience. When you think you are all out of patience, try to find some more.<p>Take care

MC,<p>Family issues can get tough when A's are revealed. <p>My sister loved my wife. They were very good friends, went out and did things together. Since our separation my sister refers to my W as "Trailer Trash". I asked her to please not call her that any more. I know she is just trying to help by being on "my side". <p>Last evening I spoke with my mother and lost it. I just started crying. First time in a while (patting myself on the back [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>She told me she understood. I hate when she says that! She was married to one man for almost forty years until he passed. Faithful to the end. The parents and family do NOT UNDERSTAND. Betrayal can only be understood by experiencing it. I think your immediate family has good intentions, but just like my sister they are hurt too.<p>So guess what? You HAVE to take control my friend.<p>Start by forgiving your sister. It's a bitter pill, I know. She's harmed you terribly.<p>I just sent my WW a letter of forgiveness and I feel so much better. And she's still with the OM!<p>Why not write your sister a letter? <p>You don't have to apologize for anything. Just tell her she is forgiven. Of course you have to mean it.<p>I've been following your thread and you seem to have so much anger. That's perfectly normal. Hell, I don't blame you!. If you replace that anger with other positive good feelings you will be so much better off, I know.<p>Just my 2 cents.<p>I truly wish you well<p>
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