Sue -- Am I ok??? I don't know what "ok" is anymore!!! I feel myself falling into a depression... I wish this would all just go away!!!

I still can't figure out how a "sister" could do this!!! Not only the A, but the lies!!! She has not come out with anything "new" yet... but I am sure she will... she likes to wait until the wound starts to heal before she rips it open again!!! Why does she enjoy hurting me so much??? I am not perfect, but I have NEVER done ANYTHING to hurt her!!! I always kept her little "secrets" from her H to protect her... now I wish I had told him EVERYTHING I knew back when she first told me (about other men)... then she might have gotten what SHE deserves!!! Her H is a pathetic excuse for a man... he does not confront her on her bulemia... instead he insists she "is fine"!!! He LETS her have A's, and never does anything about them... COME ON!!!! Be a man and tell her to STOP!!! I know he is afraid of losing his kids, but DUH, call a lawyer!!!

I am so sick of her behavior being accepted by others!!!! It is about DAMN time somebody tells her to get HELP!!!

Sorry... bitterness coming back to me...

---DEEP BREATH---

Better now. Thanks for reading!

-mcnyh <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi,
Thats okay, vent away. You will go up and down, up and down, hopefully there are more up's than downs in the future, and the downs are not deep ones. In MN, the big amusement park is ValleyFair, the biggest roller coaster ride is "The Wild Thing". Anyway, I rode it once, was terried, I will tell you, I would ride it every day to have my M fixed and the emotional rollercoaster go away. As you saw, for quite a while I was doing okay, and recently I went down, and down fast. I'm getting okay again, not there, but getting there. I managed to not sleep the morning away, partially thanks to MIL, she needed a ride home from the mechanic. I think she suspects, but won't say anything to me. She probably does not want to upset me. All she says about some of H's behavior is "weird".

Don't let the depression over take you. If you think you need antidepressants, then talk to your dr. I resisted the idea, but now, I'm considering it, at least to get me through the rest of the summer.

I wish I knew of a something to tell you how not to let your sister get to you. I will tell you this, don't let her see that it bothers you. Is she thinks she didn't upset you, then she will quit, the fun is gone.

Well, we have two more showings today, one tomorrow, and an Open House (again) Sunday. One of these people HAS to buy our house!!!

I had ANOTHER bad dream last night! I can't even escape in my sleep! The images follow me EVERYWHERE!!! My youngest woke up crying at 3:00 am, which was good for me, because it woke me up from my dream. I can't stand the fact that "she" is winning! I know I am letting her get to me, but how can I possibly control my dreams???

Once we move from here, and away from "her", I hope that it will help me forget about her! She is no longer my sister. She gave that up when she slept with my H, and then LIED about it! I will NEVER understand how a person could do this to their own sibling!

God, please give me strength!!!

-mcnyh <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

God is with you during this time. My time is short right now. I'm working during the day. I will try to get back on tonight. Hubby's b-day today. Taking him out. I'm at work right now. harder to post during day hours from work.

Just wanted to check in on you. Your house will sell. Have you told you counselor about the dreams? Maybe you should start Anti D's. I don't know if they help dreams or not.

I've been learning a few things from school. Not enough for me to explain it, but enought so I have a very basic understanding. Stress does stuff to our chemical balance. If prolonged, it could have a permanent effect, (or so they theorize, I don't know if this is considered fact). Anyway, some antid's trys to put those chemicals back in balance. Like I said, I don't know fully how this all works, I have a very basic entry level understanding. Maybe antid's will help with the dreams and you will be able to get a good night sleep? At least talk to your dr. I decided to. This AM I woke up feeling good, or so I thought, and I really blew up at my oldest, I was a raging lunatic compared to how I normaly am. My children do not deserve this.

Sue - I also find myself being short tempered with my girls, who also don't deserve it. I just feel like I have a vice around my chest! My girls are my life, but I need a break from all this stress!!!

We had another person look at our house today... My agent said she is interested... we'll see.

I really think that moving out of this house will help me. Then I can concentrate on the future!

I read a quote in a magazine that I wanted to share with you... it made me feel better!

"Yesterday is the past, there is nothing you can do to change it.

Tomorrow is the future, you don't know what will happen.

Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

I am trying to live by that!

I hope you and your H had a good time celebrating his B-day!

-mcnyh

I cannot imagine my sister doing this...That is absolutely horrible but i would hate to see you live a life of bitter resentment towards her. That would be no life for you. I believe in working out the marriage as long as he goes to therapy. As far as your sister, she needs serious help. Maybe if you realize that she has serious problems and keep your faith strong, you will be able to have your marriage and save yourself. I would even consider moving in the near future. If you have to see your sister at family events, hold your head high and dont listen to what anyone says...they are not in your shoes. God bless

HI MC,
I have to be quick. I have to get to work. I will check back on break. I've had a busy morning. Went to the Dr, got a prescription, i hope it helps. I've been losing my temper with the kids who also don't deserve it.

One of these lookers will buy. I know you want it now, but it will happen. Just remeber, the watched pot does not boil. So, try not to think about it, and before you know it, you will be moving into a new house.

I'll check back on break.

Hi MC,
On break right now, so I can talk a little.

The feeling you are probably experiencing the the walls are closing in. You want to runaway (or at least I do). The problems unfortunately follow you. Are you still in IC? Have you discussed this with your counselor?

Sue -- well today has been a rollercoster ride from Hell!!! It started with my H seeing a tumor specialist... and then finding out that radiation may or may not work... it could take MONTHS for the tumor to shrink, if at all!!!

Then UP we go... we had an offer come in!!! and YES we SOLD OUR HOUSE!!! We close in September!!! YEAH!!!

Time for the DOWN: Not even two hours later we got a phone call from the local Sherrifs Dept., the stupid B*ITCH filed a complaint against my H!!! They want to interview my H! They said her claim is very weak at best, but in order to close the file, they need to speak with him! He offered to go right away, and they said not to worry, they will call back tomorrow to set up an appointment! I am soooooooo PISSED right now my hands are still shaking!!! I will NEVER forgive her for this! She is a pathetic excuse for a HUMAN BEING!!! She is so desperate to cover her own butt, she does NOT care who she hurts in the process!!! People can say whatever they want about me needing to forgive, but you know what? It AIN'T gonna happen! I will be moving soon, and she can go straight to HELL!!! My H and I will be together, and she will find herself all alone... that is if her H ever gets a spine!!! We are actually glad it came to this, because once this is said and done, she will have to stay the hell out of my life! No more "surprises" lurking around the corner...

So much for a good day... at least we sold the house!

-mcnyh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

MC
Lets start with the good stuff, you SOLD your house. Congrats. Now, you need to get busy finding a new house since the one you wanted sold. Did that deal go through, the house you wanted or is the house back on the market? Something to check out.

Now, your sister, she is just trying to find one more way to get to you. What is really sad, is she may even believe it to be true. However, the things that are not in her favor is she willingly met your H on more than one occassion. I don't know too many "real" rape victims, but I do know they do not act as your sister did. They are ashamed of what happened and blame themselves. Some call the police right away or a friend does it for them. Others want to pretend it never happened. Making a statement many months after the fact, makes for a weak case. There is no evidence to go on. So, as you say, now that she has done this, what more can she do? It sounds like the worst is over.

I don't know if your H should bring in an attorney with him. He does have the right to have an attorney present. If he cannot afford one, they have to give him one. Just to protect your rights. I dated 2 too many cops and one thing they told me was that they are taught a few intimidation techniques to trip up people. (But then again, I stopped dating these cops because they thought they were above the law, you know the badge and all). Even though I was raised to respect the law and those who uphold it, dating two of them sort of put a tarnish on my opinion of them. For the most part I respect the law in general, but when it comes to the police, I reserve judgment until I talk to the officer.

That also may be why they said he didn't have to see him right now. Maybe they have to give him the opportunity to seek counsel?????? My guess.

I still think it would be wise for him to at least consult an attorney. Some will do an initial consultation for free.

Oouch!! She really *is* a nasty piece of work! On the positive side, your husband will forever avoid her like the plague from now; any slight sympathy
he may have harboured will be gone from him. I guess you have to be careful how you play this with the rest of your family since you are going to need all the help you can get from them because of your husband's tumor.

MC,
I must apologize, I didn't mean to blow off the news of your H's tumor. I understand that this is not good news for your family.

Stress, will not help him with recovery. Stress hinders recovery. You may need to try to get your family to understand that the stress is hurting him.

Yes, he did help to create it, but he came clean with it.

Now, let me ask this. I think I know the answer, but, it was your H that broke the news of the A, correct, not your sister? She may be trying to get even for him bringing this in the open. She is a veteran of A's and he isn't, so for her an A' is no big deal and it does not bother her, well, your H, was filled with guilt.

I'm going to stress again, that because of the extra news your sister dumped on you via the "sheriff's office" you may want to consult an attorney. "Cover your butt". In your H's nervousness, he may say it wrong.

<small>[ July 29, 2002, 10:45 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>

Hi MC,
How is today going?

Today is fine... so far! We have not heard anything back from the Sherrifs Dept., so I have no idea what will happen next!

As far as the b*tch goes, she came out with it first... TWO DAYS AFTER she and I had a huge fight!!! My H told me (and my family) what really happened. She is such a weak person... always blaming someone else!!! Granted my H had no intentions of ever telling me, but when it came down to it, he came clean... no lies. He didn't even say it was all her fault or any other BS!

The b*tch is on a mission to ruin my life! For someone who claims (to my mom) that she is sooooooooo f'ing concerned about me, she has a really bad way of showing it! She still won't even let her H talk to me!!! (after he promised me, in front of my brother, that he would always be there for me... no matter what I needed!!!) Actually she won't even answer her phone when family members (NOT ME) call her!!!

I know that "hate" uses up too much energy, so from know on, the b*tch does not exist to me... I admit that I would get some satisfaction from seeing her suffer for the pain she has caused me!!!

We are looking at a house today... I hope it is great, we close on our house in September, and I can't wait to get the hell out of here!!!

Well, let's see how the rest of my day goes... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Please say a prayer for me.

-mcnyh

I'm always praying for you.

You will find your home, and you will move. The truth always has a way of coming out. Just concentrate on you and yours. "What matters most?" Ask you self this often. Concentrate on this.

Hi MC,
So, how was the house you looked at? If not right, any other prospects?

Sue - we went to look at another house today. It was in a really nice area... but once we stepped in, YIKES!!! There was mouse poop all over the uneven floors, and a smell that made our realtor start gagging!!! Needless to say, we won't be buying that one!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tomorrow is another day... we will keep looking.

As far as the b*tch goes... we have NOT heard anything back from the sherrifs Dept. As they told us the other night, they are just doing what has to be done to close the case! I am still in shock that she is psyco enough to do this to us!!!! I also believe that "she" has been in my house while we were gone... She has a key! It appears that she had a copy of the e-mail that my H sent to my brother... and when I asked my brother about it, he said no way in hell would he give her a copy! That leads me to believ that she came into my house and printed it from my computer!!! We are going to have our attny request to see the document, and then see if it was in fact printed from my computer! If it was, she is in for REAL trouble, because I will press charges! (she has been told not to come anywhere near my house.... even though she drives by...)

"she" told my H what a b*tch I am.... well, if she continues with this crap, she will find out just how right she is!!! I am sick of being the "nice" person here, while she continues to hurt me!!!

Hope tomorrow is better...

-mcnyh

Hi MC,
Change your locks immediately. What makes you think that she was in your house? Did she or someone say something. Did she delete the e-mail from you computer? If she did, you might be able to recover it or get your brother to send it to you if he still has it.

Sorry this house was the pits. Most people clean up the homes they want to sell, unless it was a foreclosure.

Did you take out a formal restraining order. Because she has a key, it might be that you gave her implied consent to enter your home, even though you told her to stay away. You didn't ask for the key back. I know, you probably forgot she had it. I'm not telling you this to disappoint you, it is just a possibility. Depending upon your state laws, regarding these issues, will determine this.

Anyway, keep house hunting, and change those locks. How is Hubby doing?

Sue -- I asked my brother (a cop) about the whole key thing, and he said that even with a key, she has no right to enter my property since it was made CLEAR to her from the beginning (from my brother) that she was to be nowhere near my house! So even with a key, she is trespassing! What is so funny is that my "sister" has YET to talk to my brother (the COP!!!)... Don't you think that he would be the FIRST person you would call??? (he was my second phone call, after my mom, when this hit the fan!!!) Even HE knows she is full of sh*t!!! (he thinks she "is nuts"!!!)

I installed a chain lock on the door she has a key to, and lock both screen door, and house door on the others. (we use the garage door that she does NOT have a key to!!!) I have also (on my brothers advice) hung a small(ish) note on all doors stating "no trespassing, this includes you *sister & BIL's name*! We also set up our camcorder to record any enteries to the house. (probably too late now, since I think she already got what she was looking for... even if it did not help her out at all!!!)

We are still looking for a house... I hope we find one soon, otherwise we will be staying with my MIL untill we do!!! (not that I have a problem staying with her, just that her house is small, and there are FOUR of us... and then 4 animals!! This on top of two people and three animals already there!!!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I hope your day is going well!

-mcnyh

I hope it does not come to moving in with the IL's. Sounds like it will be a HOUSEFULL.

I'm glad you have someone you can go to for advice like that.

Did you check your computer to see if the e-mail was deleted? How did you find out that she has a copy of the e-mail? I assume she was bragging about it. Her paranoia is getting to her. She is probably trying to cover her bases. It is possible that the Sheriff's dept. told here that she has a week case, but they will investigate.

I know she is making your life a living H***, just remember, September is not that far away, and you will be moving soon. She will have difficulty making problems if she does not know where you are. Of course, that may fuel the fire on her end, but if she does not know where to find you, she cannot bother you.

I think she is more consummed with proving herself to be the victim and looking for attention than she is with hurting you. My guess is her obsession is blinding her to what is really going on.

I know, this does not help you any.

Take care