My heart goes out to you, its frightening the lengths some of these op will go to.
Here are a few links to some anti-harassment/anti-stalking sites that we came across while researching what to do, not to do about fws fow's harassment.
Bless to you.

http://www.esia.net/index.html
http://www.letswrap.com/legal/harass.htm
http://onour.com/stalking/index.htm
http://www.antistalking.com/victim.htm

Sue - I should have been more clear about my H. He has a tumor that is NOT cancerous.. it is called an Aggressive Fibromitosis (spelling???) He went for his third treatment today. He has to go through 6 weeks of it EVERY day!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Other than that, today has been calm... so far. I am trying to concentrate on US... and trying to not even think about "her"... You're right, we have to sit back and let things fall into place. I just hope it happens soon!

I also hope that we don't lose everything in the process! On top of moving, and legal fees, my H's radiation treatments, etc. I want to buy a lottery ticket... not just any ticket, but the winning ticket!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> What do you think my odds are??? (ha ha)

WOW... felt good to laugh! Hope I get to do it more often!

Is everything going OK for you? I feel really selfish taking up your time for me, and not being able to help you... I wish I could!!!

Thanks for your prayers!!!

-mcnyh

Hi MC
I'm glad to hear that your H's tumor is non-cancerous. I hope the next few weeks fly by for you.

You are not being selfish. I choose to respond to your post. I think you are a very nice, compassionate person. You did not have any doubts about working on your M when you discovered it. You know what is important to you and you don't won't let anyone stop you. All you wanted was the support of you family, and they are coming around.

As far as my problem goes, it is pretty much at a standstill. All I can do is Plan A and hope it works when I confront him. I really hope by that time comes it will be over, and he would have told me. However, I don't believe that will be the case. Maybe by the time things get to that point, you might be able to offer me some recovery advice.

Ha! Now that I know how to change the name of the thread ... <grin> Just felt like being a troll.

HUH???

What would you change it to?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I think mine pretty much sums it up, don't you?

-mcnyh

MC how is your day going so far

Sue -- so far, so good. Tha days seem even longer now that my H goes straight from work to the hospital every day!!! But hopefully this will take care of the tumor, and he won't need chemo!!!

Not much else... yet...

How are things going for you?

-mcnyh

Hi MC,

Things are going okay. Could be worse, would like it to be better. I saw a very small resembelance of the man I fell in love with. It was short lived.

Sometimes I think about divorcing him and starting over. How do you start over with 3 kids

Sue -- I'm sorry you are having a rough time. The day I found out about my H's A... My first reaction was to demand a D!I was scared to death! I have not worked in two years, and I had no idea how I would be able to afford taking care of my children!!! My H had told me that even if I wanted a D, he would always take care of me and my girls, and he would have... Thank God it did not come to that!

I wish you did not have to go through this!!! I wish that the WS could see how much damage they are creating for the children!!! My children come first... and I would do anything possible to protect them!!! (as I am sure you would too!!!)

I hope today is better for you... Is your H staying home this weekend?

-mcnyh

He went up north for a weekend softball tournament (a weekend drunk is what it really is). Most of those that still goes on this are in their 20's. He is really getting too old for this.

I hate this tournament. The first time he went after we split, he took her. He said he didn't, but I found pictures of her in our camper. I have not been in that camper since, and I want it sold.

Some days are harder than others. For the most part I'm okay.

Another weekend coming up he is going to Danbury, (another drunken weekend disquised as softball).

And then later this fall, he is going to Missouri for a week of fishing with a bunch of guys. (he will not take a full week off to vacation with his family but he takes all this time for his friends. Lets not forget his annual ski trip with his brother. Then he usually squeezes in a trip to Las Vegas for a weekend. (This one he lies to me about until he comes home)

Oh well, can't stop him. He does what he wants with little to no regard to my feelings or his kids. Can we afford all this. NO. I just don't pay his bills to come up with the money. And he wonders why his credit sucks and mine does not.

I told him I would do this, he does not believe me.

Enought about me and my pathetic life. Nine more months to go and I can do something about this. Nine months and counting.

How is the packing going?

Sue -- My H used to always be gone. Either a softball game, or hockey, or work, or the military, or errands, or whatever... It made me crazy!!! Since D-Day, he admitted that his other stuff came first... Now that he experienced life where he almost lost me (I asked him to leave on D-day), he has changed his mind. Now me and my girls come first!!! Better late than never I guess! It's funny what some people take for granted untill it gone... or almost gone!!! I hope that when your H "wakes up", it's not too late for him!!! As it is, I think you are a saint for doing what you are doing right now!!! (If we have a BS olympics, you would win the gold medal for patience!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

I hope today is better for you!

-mcnyh

Day from you know where - not all H's fault, he was a contributor, but not until the end of the day.

Started out okay. Kids have one more week of summer vac. so I didn't want to wake them up early to go to daycare today and tomorrow, so grandma has them. Got to school early to go to bookstore. Bookstore did not have what I wanted, have to come back tomorrow. Okay, can deal with that. Worked around it. After class, I picked up kids. One son had a Dr. appt., then off to their school to get fall pictures taken (they do it about a week or two before school starts. They tried it last year, and asked the parents which they liked better, they must have received a favorable response because they are doing it again). Also got kids teacher assignment. Kids were misbehaving the whole time. Oldest forgot shoes, had to go back for them. ( I had already planned to be late for work, but now I'm later). Get finally get kids home. Daughter is crying because I left her behind with dad. Dad, is bent out of shape because kids would not listen to me, so now, he cannot deal with them and will not take them back to his moms, so I have to. She lives in the other direction of my work, so now, instead of being 1/2 hour late, I'm an hour late. Oldest son tells me that he is glad it is me taking them to grandma's because dad would have yelled at him the whole way.

So, I'm now 3 hours late for work instead of the 1.5 - 2 hours I planed on. Hopefully, by next week things will settle down. (or I will collapse into a coma for the next 150 years, in this case I will not care)

So, now that you hear about my frustrating day, how is your day going?

MIL, daughter and I went to the Grotto of Redemption on Sunday. It is located in West Bend IA. About 3 hour drive. I wanted to stop on our way back from Branson, but we were too tired and wanted to get home, so MIL and I decided to make a day trip before I went back to school.

It is a religious place built totally out of rock. All kinds of rock. Very beautiful and serene. While I was there I felt a sense of calm. (also be a great place for wedding pic's)

The boys didn't go, I didn't think they would be interested. I will show them pictures and see if they want to go in the future. BIL took them to the movies, so they didn't feel left out.

If you are ever traveling through IA and have the time to stop, check it out. It is about 1 hour's drive west of HWY 35.

Sue - I'm glad school is starting for you again... it will give you something else to concentrate on!!!

That place you visited sounds really nice! I would love to go somewhere calming!!! Although (knock on wood) things have been quiet here... so far!

My H and I went to our therapist yesterday... I love this guy... He tells my H how great I am <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ! He has really helped us, and I am actually grateful that something (unfortunatly an A) got us to go to one!!! I thought we were doing fine, but now I know we can do better!!!

I hope today goes better for you!

Thinking of you!

-mcnyh

Things are a little better. Starting to get back into the rythym. It will take about a week or two to get it all worked out. And then I can do it all again for spring semester.

Part of the chaos is the instructors have all these other assignments that we have to do, some are scheduled by them. We dont' get much notice on it.

i'm not sure who the bigger scumbag is, your sister or your husband.

Gordo -- Thanks, but no thanks. I'm sorry you are such a bitter person.

Sue -- How many more semesters to go? Just so you know... they are always looking for nurses around here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !

-mcnyh

Two more chaotic semesters. Graduation date is May 16th. It is not close enough.

How is the packing going?

I liked your response to Gordo.

My MIL has been a great help. Some days she drives me crazy, but she has been a big help throughout the whole thing.

H has been strangely interested in my school this year. He's been asking if I found out about my grade from Microbiology, (the class from you know what). Worst instructor ever. He's inquired daily how classes have been going. Last year he could not have cared less.

today I told him, that everyday, I get a little scared and apprehensive. I'm going good on my tests, B type work. I listen to my class mates talk and they talk like they have been nurses forever. I feel really stupid around them. I'm worried I will make a bad nurse. H told me if I quit now, the kids and him would throw me to the curb. He says that I'm a bear to live with when school is going on and since I dont' have much left, I had better finish. I talked to a friend of mine who graduated 2 years ago, I felt better after talking to her. She says that she still feels like she does not know what she is doing at times. So, I guess it comes with the territory, until you gain some experience.

Sue -- I have a friend and a SIL that are nurses. My friend was convinced she did horrible in school, when she actually did great! I think you are going to be a great nurse!!! And when you H gets his head out of his butt, he will see this too! I think it is horrible that you H would add any more stress to you about school... I give you A LOT of credit... School, kids, work, "fogged" H... DAMN!!! The fact that you are still sane says a lot!!! (I get flustered with just the "kids" part <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !!!!)

I think you are going to do great!!! And tests? You will kick butt!!!

As far as things here go... (knocking on wood) not much has happened... I keep waiting.

Packing???? uuuugggghhhhh!!! So far I have packed 3 boxes!!!! We move in 28 days!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I hope you have a great day!!

-mcnyh

When you have so much to do, some days it is hard to know where to begin, what to keep out until the last minute. It will get done.

Thanks for your support. I get very scared. I've had some ask if I was worried about getting HIV or Hepatitis from a patient, my answer is no. Since I have no intention of being intimate with any of them (my sick sense of humor), my chances are slim.

Weather just said 40% chance of rain. It will happen because I have clothes on the clothesline. If I didnt' have them out because of the forecast, there would be no rain.

Sue has 3 children and is going to college at the smae time. How do you pay for college? Are you working at the same time?

Sometimes between children, college and work the spouses don't have time for each other. Maybe he feels threatened by your ambitions, and is just keeping himself occupied while you are busy with everything in your life. Perhaps when you finish college, go to work and have more time and money generally to spend on him, the marriage will recover again on its own.